Bear Hugs and Hot Cocoa

When I wrote this I didn't plan for it to be fanfiction. I actually used different names and called the British Men of Letters the "agency". I was just writing as an exercise to relax and had this episode on in the background. When I finished I figured I'd give this to you all as somewhat of a thank you for all the great stories I've read here. I don't know if I'll keep on writing.

The character I inserted into the story as if it were me is Vee, short for Vivian. Little sister, four years younger than Sam, Dean kept her out of the hunter life but made sure she knew how to take care of herself.

She lives in Roeland Park. Close enough to home that it felt familiar, far enough that she didn't have to relive any bad memories. It was lucky fate that her brothers ended up just a four hour drive away, which considering their life on the road was like being up the street.

They'd called her Princess since she was a baby. It actually started from their aunt but it was eight year old Dean who clarified that she was a Warrior Princess, like Cheetara or Xena, because she was a survivor and a fighter just like him and Sam.

So here it is. Thanks all. Keep on fighting.

When I watch the boys go through some of their heartbreaking moments, sometimes I feel it so strongly it's almost like I'm there with them. This is one of those times. When Mary confesses she's been working with the BMOL at the end of 12.13, beginning of 12.14.

Mom: I've sort of been working with the agency.

Vee couldn't take it anymore. That was the last straw. As soon as mom started talking about them, defending them, she walked out. She couldn't take it. She couldn't breathe. She was sure she was going to hurl. She started to feel faint. She silently pleaded that she at least make it to the hallway before she passed out. As soon as she turned the corner she pressed herself against the wall and fell to the ground. Putting her head between her knees, she closed her eyes trying to catch air and stop her heart from slamming out of her chest. But as soon as she started to catch her breath and her heart started to slow, her eyes started to sting from angry tears and she couldn't have that. She refused to let this stranger get to her. The woman who was supposed to be her mother but was gone her whole life and now gone again.

She could hear mom ranting about all the "good" she was doing with the agency. Vee heard Sam ask "How long?" Mom said before the lake house with Walter. It was her case from the agency. "Of course it was," Vee scoffed. Mom kept on, saying she was doing it all for us trying to play catch up.

Dean started to yell. Vee let the tears fall. She hated when he yelled. He started to lay into mom about everything, her being gone and her choosing them over us. Vee cried into her shirt trying to muffle herself. She felt too hot all over and she had a headache from forcing the tears back. She hated crying because it always left her exhausted and sore.

She didn't realize Dean had left the room until he was pulling her up from the ground and walking her down the hallway. Dean pushed her towards the kitchen and sat her down. Sam was still with Mom. Vee hated the thought of him being alone with her. Dean gave her a glass of water, a wet towel, aspirin, and a bag of frozen peas, knowing what she needed to calm down and stop crying. She sniffled, downed the aspirin, and finished the water. She wiped her face and wrapped the peas in the towel and put them over her eyes. Dean poured himself a whiskey and sat next to her. He didn't touch her or try to soothe her, knowing she couldn't handle it while she was this upset. He just stared at the wall and sipped his drink.

Sam walked in. "Hey." He sat across his siblings and let out a heavy sigh looking like he was about to start bawling himself. Without looking at him, Dean asked, "Well?" Sam: "She's gone." Dean shook his head and smirked as if mom ditching us was just hilarious and ironic.

They all just sat there. Quiet. Vee's stomach started to burn from the aspirin. Praying her eyes weren't red, puffy, and demonic looking, she put the peas down and got up to grab some crackers. She found some in the pantry and started snacking on them leaning against the counter. Dean poured himself more whiskey. Sam looked back and forth from his brother and sister clueless on what to say. It was weird for Vee to see him so calm and together. Usually he was the soggy mess in the corner when crap went down.

"Want something else to eat?" Sam asked as she was about to finish the box. Vee: "I'm good." Sam looked disappointed as if he was hoping she'd say "yes" so that he'd have something to do with himself; take his mind off the melodrama that was their family.

Vee's stomach felt better and the headache started to dull. Dean looked like he was already settled in for the night with a fifth. Sam looked like he wanted to talk things out. Vee was not ready for that. Vee: "I'm gonna shower."

Vee took her time. Had the water scalding but it felt good. She washed her hair twice and scrubbed her body raw. She wanted to hang onto the warm feeling so she snuck into Sam's room to grab a sweatshirt and pajama pants. She dried her long hair, braided it into pigtails, and covered her head with a scarf to get it ready for sleep. Feeling physically better but an emotional mess she decided cocoa before bed would help. Vee avoided alcohol when she was less than happy not wanting to fall into the angry drunk cliche her dad and brothers lived.

When she reached the hallway outside the kitchen, she heard Sam and Dean talking. Sounded like they were comparing notes on mom. Dean: "I knew something was off with her this whole time. She was hiding something." Sam: "Yeah I thought it was just adjustment issues." Dean: "Well her turning her back on us and working with those dickbags was nowhere on my list." Sam: "Dean…" Dean: "No. I'm done tonight. All talked out and tapped out on family angst. I'm going for a drive. See you in the morning." Sam: "Yeah, okay."

When Dean came out and saw Vee leaning against the wall he didn't seem surprised to see her there eavesdropping. Dean: "You okay, Princess?" Vee just nodded. Dean pulled her into a hug and just held her for a bit. Vee buried her face into his chest and took a deep breath. Just as quick as he pulled her in, he let her go with a kiss to the top of her head and left to the garage.

Vee made her way into the kitchen. Sam was already boiling some water and had the cocoa powder out for her. He gave her a sad smile and she went straight to him letting him wrap her into a bear hug. "You okay?" Vee: "Yeah." She'd never be too old for hugs from her brothers and a cup of cocoa.

Sam stepped back and let Vee do her thing. When she was done, she pulled herself up onto the counter and sipped her cocoa. Sam took a deep breath and started. "Hey listen, I think Mom…" Vee didn't want to hear it but she didn't want to cut him off. So she let him finish his speech about how mom probably thought she was doing the right thing and that he's sure she still loves them blah dee dah.

At 28, Vee had decided long ago that she would take things as they appeared and not dig. What she saw now was that their long lost mother couldn't deal with losing out on their childhoods and decided to abandon them all over again. Vee decided now that was fine with her. She dealt with her mother being gone her whole life and she'd move on again. She still had her brothers like always and that's all that mattered to her.

Vee knew Dean would want to throw himself into his work to get over this and Sam would tag along to make sure he didn't get too crazy. She'd leave first thing in the morning so they could get to it.

-Skip to the end of the episode when the Vamps are dead and everyone reunites.

Sam calls Vee. Explained how he ended up at the agency bunker with mom and how Dean was out hunting with an agency dickbag when they all got attacked.

Sam: "So yeah Dean came back because he was worried about Mom and that was it." Vee rolled her eyes after she said a silent prayer thanking Chuck everyone was alive and okay. She was not surprised at the way things turned out. For all his hot gassing Dean couldn't stay mad at his family for long and Sam hated conflict.

Sam and Dean have their weak spots and Vee knew the agency played them. For Sam, his lures were a sappy background story, lore he hadn't heard yet, and fancy tech. Dean dropped it all for a fifth and a good hunt. They would never admit it though. They would just call it getting back to work.

With mom, Vee wasn't ready yet. Maybe being out of the hunter life made that easier for her than for her brothers. Or maybe she hated that the perfect angel mom she envisioned in her head all these years was a lie. Whatever. It didn't matter to Vee. Not now anyway.

This is where living on her own had its advantages. She didn't have to deal with her brothers' emotional rollercoasters. Just her own. And she'd do it the same way she always did. She'd shove it down and let it come out in spurts of depression and meditative yoga.