Ok!, well it's been so long since I have written anything I know, but well now I felt like writing again XD, I really dont know if I should continue this one or just leave it as a one shot, so I'll leave it as in progress and wait for what you think I should do, as for my other story, I was really stuck :S maybe someday I'll know what to write. That's it, read and review :P BYE


It's been a year since you left, not caring about your own life to save the world, a year that's been full of adventures, full of drama and full of death. Only death remains now, you have murdered, killed people, murderers also, but people nonetheless, by the eyes of everyone you are a murderer, a monster.

You have almost no emotions left, no more tears left, no more joy, no more laughter, no more sorrow, nothing. It was the only way to win, you had to shut down all your emotions, you were not supposed to feel a thing when you killed, not feel pity when you saw someone die, to keep telling yourself it's worth it, that their deaths are not in vain, you find yourself smiling now, not sure why, maybe because it's over, maybe because you have lost your mind on the way.

Your green eyes see the castle where you grew up in; you remember those innocent times, those moments full of life, maybe you're smiling because you remember those moments, who knows.

"Everything is so messed up now", you say as you keep smiling.

Not even thinking of your friends brings something in your heart, nothing, it's like you have no soul, and you find yourself thinking that maybe he was the one who claimed victory in the end, maybe his lasts words were the truth.

Your wand is aiming at your mortal enemy, lying on the grass, without arms, you got rid of those during the fight, he has lost and yet he is smiling.

"Kill me now boy, but remember this, once I'm gone you'll have nothing else to live for". He keeps smiling and then laughs as he says his last words. "You will have no purpose in life when I'm gone". Without saying a word you silence him forever with a green beam of light, not without feeling sadness all over your body.

You remember now, that was the last time you felt some sort of emotion, who knew he would be right in the end, you were the one who lost, you were so focused on killing him, and now you don't know what to do.

You try to think of what your friends look like, it's been so long since you've seen any of them, the only thing you know is that they're alive, you never answered their owls, never showed a bit of regret for not doing it also, telling yourself it's for the best, it's the right thing to do, the only way to win.

Another memory comes to your mind.

We all miss you, I miss you, can't you see that Harry? Please come back from wherever you are, you can't do this alone, you need us as much as we need you.

Hermione.

That was the last part of her letter. It's been a month since you have been gone, at times it feels like it's been longer.

Today you have made your first kill. A death eater was trying to find you, and you took him by surprise. One shot, one kill, it was that simple, but it wasn't, there was another one with him.

In one second you managed to dodge his attack and stun him, you tried to kill him too, but shadows started to appear all over the place, another second and you are gone. A close call, but it serves you, learn from your mistakes, you get to live another day.

Now tears roll down your cheeks, and it makes you angry because you can't cry at times like these, it takes a lot of work but you know that eventually you'll stop crying, eventually you'll stop caring. Kissing her letter one last time you throw it to the fire. You start to sense something; it's time to get out, another pop, one seconds later… the room you were in is on fire, you never knew what happened.

You keep smiling, now wondering what had happened after you left, what was it that you sensed, an ally? An enemy? It doesn't matter now, you're alive, and you're watching as the sun goes down, the castle looks so beautiful at this hour.

You wait for another couple of hours and then you put your cloak on, just a visit to an old friend, with your map, you start walking. In one second you are near her room, you are so powerful now, not even passwords can stop you, a flick of your wand and it's done. It's nearly midnight now, she must be sleeping, without making a noise you go into her bedroom, and just as you thought, she is asleep.

You feel something in your chest, you don't pay attention to it, and it's been so long since you have felt anything that you can't even recognize what it was. You are paralyzed, she looks so beautiful, as you get closer you see that her face is covered with tears, you can't figure out why.

A candle is glowing in the corner… as you get closer to it you see something close to it, it looks like a notebook, maybe her diary, it's opened and it has an entry from today, and you know why she was crying.

It's been a year now; I can't even remember his face, why hasn't he returned? It's done, he's dead, we've won, why isn't he here? Oh Harry, if you only knew how much I love you

That was the last thing you could understand, tears were everywhere on the paper, and there's that knot again, or that something, you don't know what it is, but you do know that it's time to leave, it's time to go, you get close to the door, and just as you are about to open it, you turn around and see her, crying, she is awake, but why is she crying?

In one second she is hugging you, jumped right out the bed and into your arms, how is it that she knew you where here, she is sobbing so hard but you manage to understand what she is saying.

"Why? Why Harry? Why did you leave? Why did you leave me? Oh god Harry I loved you! Why did you leave? Why?"

She keeps saying that over and over, and you ask yourself those same questions, there is no answer, you had no reason to leave, you knew you loved her, she was everything to you, maybe you thought it was the best thing to do, but now, now it's clear, you fucked up everything, how will she ever forgive you?

In one second, you felt it, sadness and joy, fear, all at once. And you return her hug with equal strength, and you start crying, who knew there were still tears left in your eyes.

"Oh god 'Mione, forgive me, please forgive me, I don't know why I left, I-I-I can't figure it out now. Please don't leave me. Forgive me".

How much time has passed since you said that, a minute, five? Maybe one second. And she turns to face you, as if not believing you are real. She touches your face and slaps you, hard, and you can't help but wince at that, even though you have faced death so many times, a single hit by her hurts more than five strikes from a death eater.

"How can I leave you?" she whispers.

"You have returned to me and nothing, do you hear me Harry, nothing is going to keep me away from you."

You kiss her, and you didn't care about anything else, nothing mattered now but her kisses and her touch, her hands were so soft, by the time you stop, there are no more tears left in both your faces. You are smiling again, but something inside you feels different, not like before.

She takes your hand and guides you to the bed, she brings you down with her and covers both of you with her sheets, her head on top of your chest, and whispers good night, one second later you say good night but she doesn't hear you, she is asleep again.

What had happened? Why did you cry? So many questions, but you are so tired, you just want to sleep, tightening your hold on Hermione, you close your eyes, in one second you are asleep, tomorrow is another day, for now you just want to sleep.


What do you think? :P