Prologue

Hi! I finally decided to write a fanfic... yay! *Applause, maybe a couple of 'whoops' for my gratification* This is my first one so no flames please... ENJOY!

What do I fear most?

Now, most people have the usual, common fears. The dark, spiders, clowns. Now, I'll admit, clowns are a tad creepy but I love the dark. It conceals the things you don't want to see and protects you from the things you don't want to be seen by. Spiders…well….I just don't like them. No matter what anyone says I am NOT afraid of them.

I used to be afraid, weak. I moved from my old elementary school in England to a new one in New York. Man, being the new girl at a new school in a new country is damn hard! And 11 year olds can be vicious! I used to take the bullying I got from being the girl with the red hair, freckles and braces. You'd think people would come up with a cleverer name than "brace-face" I mean come on! That is so old. But I still cried a little when I got home and my momma would comfort me and tell me to stand up for myself. I tried but it just didn't work.

It was when I finished elementary school that I decided to start fresh. I finally got my braces off and I found the confidence in myself that I was missing all those years before. I became stronger physically and mentally and I finally stood up for myself. It was when I encountered two bitches during my first month of middle school. They were both completely two faced and they pretended to be my friend. I never really liked them anyway. I got a bad feeling about them the first time I saw them. The next day they turned on me and somehow found it hilarious that I believed that they were my friends. I wasn't upset about it. I just thought they were stupid. Thing is they weren't the classic popular girls who feed on the insecurity of their classmates. No, those people just ignored me and I'm perfectly fine with that. These girls weren't actually liked by anyone at school so they had nothing better to do other than spending their time envying people and trying to ruin their lives.

One day they were picking on me because I came to school wearing army trousers and combat boots. I never was the girly type. Anyway, they started pushing me up against the lockers saying how I didn't belong here and how I should just go crawl back to the hole I came from. The 'leader' of the two was all up in my face and she slapped me. It didn't hurt one bit and it was then that I realized I could take them both. I kicked her in the shin and punched her in the face. She got a bleeding nose and the two ran off. Who knew that those two simple moves would change my school life forever?

The next day, when I walked in through the school doors everyone turned to look at me. I figured that the incident the previous day had gotten out and now everyone would consider me as the weird girl with anger issues. So I just ignored them and walked passed with my head held high. I was halfway to my locker when this guy with short blonde hair stopped me. He smiled and said "'Bout time someone taught those chicks a lesson." I grinned at him and from that day on he became the closest thing I had to a friend. I didn't have many friends but that's not because I wasn't liked. No, since that day I became rather popular and I got a reputation as "the girl nobody messes with." I didn't have friends because I simply didn't feel the need for one. I was very independent and I guess you could call me a loner. But that's fine. I like being by myself.

My momma and papa were always proud of me because no matter what situation I was in, no matter where I was, I never changed who I was to please people or to try and "fit in." Truth is no one who is being themselves really "fits in." The people who do "fit in" are concealing their true personality to be like someone else who they admire. They're no longer unique or original in their own special way. It's good to stand out from the crowd.

So that brings me back to the question. What do I fear most?

Well, when I compare the miserable life I had in elementary school to the decent one I had in middle school I realize just how weak I was back when I was bullied. I realize how I hate weakness. I realize that when I'm not good at something, like standing up for myself, it means that I'm weak in that area. So, I want to be the best…in the most humble way possible, because if I'm the best, I am strong.

So I suppose I fear weakness. I fear becoming what I once was: a weak, pathetic little girl. I fear becoming afraid.

I fear: fear.