Okay quick Recap on the books & characters (So you know what I'm talking about) by me:
Acheron a god who was raised as human, suffered a horrible life because of a curse. He's the Atlantian God of Fate, goes blue with horns when seriously pissed. Can't lie, if he were to say go kill yourself, you'd have to cuz hes the god of fate (duh) which was a sad situation in one of the other books.... poor Nick. Anywho back to the book. The book was solely about him so things kinda turned up for him in the end. Tori who was a human got turned into an immortal and is now a guardian and protector of Atlantis & its secrets.
Acheron as human and immortal has been betrayed over and over the only other people he ever trusted were Nick (oops) and Simi. (I'll explain her in a bit) oh and Katra (I'll explain her too). The Heifer Bitch-Goddess (Simi's codename for Artemis). Had Tori killed then tori was brought back as immortal by Ancheron's mommy who happens to be Apolomi the Destroyer (don't piss off mommy or your gonna be in BIG trouble.....in other words when Acheron had died once before Artemis brought him back, Apolomi had destroyed Atlantis and all the other Atlantian gods. Very pissed indeed). anyway point is Don't make Ackimoo pissed or he gonna/might kill ya. Very dangerous and he's also a God-Killer which is another dangerous thing. so big scary 6 foot 7 dude. Okay now Simi is Acheron's "Daughter" not blood related or anything she is a charonte demon and she loves her BBQ sauce (carries it in her purse all the time), she'll eat anything even you, and really really really wants to eat the heifer goddess that hurts Akri all the time. (Akri: Atlantian word for Master). She can take the form of a dragon tattoo on Acheron, or she sleeps upside down feet in the air. she has red horns and wings & black hair, her skin is molted red & black.
she talks like this: "The Simi is hungry!" said Simi in a huff, as she looked hungrily at the poodle walking by. (Cute kinda, when she isn't trying to eat you eh?).
Her favorite song is Fergalicious and is trying to convince Akri (Acheron/Ackimoo/Ash whatever you want to call him, but don't call him Ackimoo he hates it and will kill you for it.... unless your his wife) to call her Similicious, though Akri refuses (I wonder why. I'd think it suits her. lol). anyway when Akri tells Simi to do something Simi does it. She hates the word 'no' so be careful she may just eat you for the heck of it. She loves watching Domonique and ordering diamonds online (to eat, yum yum). she ages differently then humans, let me see If I can remember correctly. a thousand human years equals one of hers, she was 3000 when she first became Acheron's and that was in 9527 BC. you do the math. Her appearance when she wants it to be looks like a woman in her early 20s, and shes like a teenager right now, o.o uh oh. She is Acheron's Demon Protector like her mother was for Acheron's mum. So that's Simi in the shortest (oh yes this is a short description). Katra (isn't important here) but, she is Acheron's real daughter, Artemis had her and didn't exactly tell Acheron he had a kid, since Acheron always wanted kids that's really really sad. Oh yeah Acheron was kinda cursed by his aunt or whoever so now any who look upon him are attracted guys too and even the lesbians (oh deary not good for him....tsk tsk all those gropers.) the only people so far he had met that weren't affected by that were men who were blind...and his wife for some odd reason revealed later in the book.... heh heh not telling. Anyway, Katra is married to Sin the last Samarian god alive. Thanks to Atremis. (Yeah, we all hate Artemis. She's a real bitch, which is considered a mild insult in this case). Lets see am I missing anything.....
I guess that covers the things you need to know to read this short chapter and find it funny.
I'm Zarek and I say fuck the world and I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it. So don't give me a look if you don't want to loose an eye...or more.
"Zarek honey, what are you doing over there? You're not electrocuting your brother again are you?" Oh shit gotta go. Enjoy this odd moment for Ash. never gonna read another like it!
Acheron's Gummy Experience
Tori awoke and rolled over to discover that Acheron wasn't in Bed. This was the fourth time this week that she'd woken up in the middle of the night to find him gone. Maybe he's with Simi. Tori thought as she threw on her robe.
She walked through their home and knocked on Simi's door. Simi opened it. "What's wrong Akra, you can't sleep? The Simi, knows just what to do!" she said in a patronizing tone.
"No Simi, I'm looking for, Ash. Have you seen him?" Tori asked. Simi cocked her head to the side. "Aha!" She yelled. "I know where Akri is, the Simi always knows." Tori sighed in relief.
"Where is he?" she asked. Simi pointed down the corridor. "That way. Akri smells like Akri, so the Simi always knows where Akri is." They walked down the hall, Tori was in the middle of a train of thought when Simi cried out. "AKRI!!!" Tori rushed into the room.
Ash was lying on the floor with a mountain of gummy bears on him and he had an irritated expression on his face. "Simi." He growled. Simi shrugged and said "The Simi did what Akri said." She copied his voice. "You should protect what's yours and keep it safe." She switched back to her own voice. "So that's what Simi did." Tori looked at Ash to see his irritated expression turn into a sheepish one. "Okay, what am I missing here?" Tori asked.
"Okay, um, I didn't tell you this before we got married because I didn't think you could handle it." Ash said, he took a deep breath and said. "I have. . . .an addiction to gummy bears. Alexion and Simi have warded this room so I can't get to them, I thought I disabled all of them over the last few nights." He looked up into Tori's eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just love them so much."
Tori continued to stare at him with an expressionless face. "Tori....?" Within 10 seconds the place was filled with her laughter echoing off the walls.
