Trade Mistakes – A Smosh SongFic (One-Shot)


"Ian, I don't think I can handle this anymore." I told Ian as I looked at Kalel's painful expression.

Let me save you, Kalel. Please.

"Anthony, look. Kalel's going to make it, alright? She's a strong woman; you know that more than anyone else, Anthony. If you're going to give up on her, wouldn't that mean you didn't trust her?"

"It's not like that, Ian! I just can't look at her, looking in so much pain!"

"So what are you going to do? Exchange places with her?"

"If I could, I would Ian!"

If I could, I would.

"You know what Ian, this is my entire fault. If I didn't fight with her with such a small, idiotic issue, then she wouldn't have been hit by a truck! If it wasn't my childish attitude, then none of these could have happen!"

"Anthony, I told you a thousand times already, nobody wanted this to happen. No one's at fault; remember that. I'm telling you this not only because you're my best friend Anthony, but because this is the fact."

I wish I could convince myself that it isn't my fault why Kalel is in that hospital bed right now, but I can't. No matter how many times Ian would tell me those words; they just don't sink into me.

I may never sleep tonight,
as long as you're still burning bright.
I'll stay awake till I trade my mistakes.
So they fade away.


"Anthony?"

"What is it, Ian?" It's been 6 hours straight since the accident has happened. It's 10 in the evening now, and I can't sleep.

Kalel, I'm sorry. Please, wake up.

"I'm going home now. I need to feed Charlie, you know. I guess that's okay for you."

"Yeah sure, have fun. Be careful on going home. And drive safe, you bastard."

Let me save you, hold this rope.

The doctors said that Kalel is in critical condition right now. The pressure of the truck that hit her severely affected her brain, and caused some fracture at her right arm. She's actually lucky for her to survive in that accident.

So that means that she's lucky to have those? What kind of crap is that?

She didn't deserve any of these. I do, but she doesn't.

"Please Kalel, don't give up. I love you."

I really do Kalel. I really love you.

I woke up, hoping and praying that when I've opened my eyes, I'll see Kalel healthy and awake and smiling at me. That isn't too much to ask, right, God? But once I've opened my eyes, she's still the same when I slept beside her. I cried, because why from all the people in this world, why her?

Why, God? Why Kalel? Why not me? Why?


"Dammit, Kalel, I told you already, Sarah's just my friend!"
"Of course she's only your friend! Considering the fact that she always texts you with really sweet messages; any friend would do that!"
"You know what? Ever since we've started dating, I haven't gotten my own freedom. I feel like I'm chained to you! And guess what, Kalel. You're such a kid who doesn't know how to understand the definition of 'love'. I even think that, if Ian's a girl, you might even get jealous of him! That's how narrow-minded you are!"
"Fine, if that's what you want, then have it your way."
"Wait- Kalel! Wait! KALEL!"


"Well, what's the news?"

"The doctor said these instruments are the only ones that keep her alive." I was choking on my own tears as I tell Ian about Kalel's condition. "I- c-can't a-accept that, I-Ian… I can't decide if I should let her go or not! " Ian gave me a big hug. It may look gay, but that's one thing I need right now.

Now the only thing I need now is Kalel's warm smile, which is a sign of her being alive.

Is that too much to ask?

Time goes by. I haven't left Kalel's side since yesterday, because when she wakes up, I want to be the first person for her to see. I rubbed her face gently.

Gracing your skin, with the side of my hand,
If I ever leave I could learn to miss you,
with 'sentimental boy' as my nom de plume.


"I'm not going to lose hope, Anthony."

"You're not the only one, Ian."

It's been 1 day and 3 hours since Kalel has arrived at this hospital. At the look of her face, she is fighting hard just to remain alive, but at the same time, she's in pain because of that. It's so bittersweet.

"Ian, I think I should let her go."

"Huh? Why?"

"She looks in pain while she tries to fight, Ian. I can't be selfish. I have to let her go."

"Are you sure you want that?"

I cried. I don't want her to go. But I have to, because she'll be in a better place. Kalel will be in Heaven, where there's no pain.

"She can't be mine forever, Ian." Man, I was literally chocking on my own tears. "I have to let her go, because she'll be happier in that way."

"You're strong, Anthony, and so is Kalel. But I guess even strong people have their own weakness. And you have to face that weakness – to let go Kalel."

If I could trade mistakes for sheep,
count me away before you sleep.


I never imagined this day would happen. I have imagined me and Kalel facing the altar together, but not one of us, dead. She's now okay, happy. Then I should be happy for her too.

And I know, one day, when my own time comes, I would meet her again, and we will be happy together when that happens.

I'll still wait till I trade my mistakes, so they fade away.


I love you, Kalel. I've been a jerk, I know. But it still doesn't change the fact that I still love you. And I always will.

Tell me, do you also still love me, Kalel?


Yes, I do, Anthony.