Stepping in Time


Snow swirled like lost dreams beyond the Gothic windows, pattering softly against the stained glass and obscuring any view of the sprawling forest outside. Inside the castle, warm and comfortable, snowflakes glittered, enchanted to fall on the tongue with peppermint taste, and as much coolness as a passionate kiss. Reds and greens flitted in and out of view as ladies in silk and young men in suits danced upon the flagstone floor, all shimmers and finery.

The dance had begun.

Lily Evans played with the backs of her pearl earrings absently, watching as the broad-shouldered figure of James Potter retreated, his mind focused on appeasing her and bringing back drinks. She smoothed her white silk dress with a gloved hand and smiled joyfully. This night was perfect. Everything, from the scent of pine to the light music in the corner, made her happy.

She watched the other girls, envious of some at their glass-droplet earrings, perfect eyes, sure footsteps.

Then she remembered James and her jealousy faded to decadence.

Her green eyes flitted across the room, emerald butterflies, observing every person in every possible shade and cloth. There, Alice, in her sky-blue robes and shawl, Frank in his dashing charcoal suit with her hand confidently in his; Remus Lupin dancing awkwardly with a young brunette she didn't know the name of. Sirius Black, leaning in a half-sprawl across the farthest table, swooping back his dark mess of hair with a flourish. The girl nearest to him in lavender swooned.

But there. Oh, yes. The corner, the darkness, the one spot of gloom in the fairy perfection. He was dressed in pure black, with a sharp neckline and dashing strip of buttons down the front. He looked like a Romanian count in old horror stories, Dracula in Hogwarts. His pale skin was gleaming in the torchlight that barely fell upon it, his raven hair drawn back severely.

He was alone.

Lily pressed her gloves to her dress carefully and stood, mindful of her heels, and chanced a look at James. He was laughing with Sirius, who was slowly sneaking his finger along the shoulder-blades of the girl in lavender. Lily thought for a moment. Her name was probably Miranda. Yes, she looked like a Miranda. Or a Gertrude.

Leaving James to talk jovially with his friends, she made her way along the edge of the dance floor, carefully avoiding the shoes, many of which did not look in the least bit comfortable, girls had cast off in pain. She approached the dark spot warily, not wanting her movements to catch James's eye.

Just as Lily drew nearer, she was no more than a table away, he stood briskly. He wiped off some invisible particle on his suit and turned on his heel, walking away with the smartly-drawn cloak he wore billowing behind him. Unable to run, Lily joined the cadre of girls and slipped her shoes off. She ran after him, holding her skirts with one hand as she reached out to him with the other.

She pressed her fingers into the crook of his left arm. In a movement borne of fear and surprise, he drew it back with a sharp intake of breath. Severus Snape's black eyes burned into hers. Aggression melted into complacency, even hesitancy. " Lily." His voice came out on a mere breath.

Lily smiled comfortingly. " Severus, why are you leaving?"

Severus licked his thin white lips, and as he looked over toward the drink table, where James was still cavorting, he replied," I feel ill." He turned back to look at her. " I'm going to the Common Room to rest. Please excuse me." He gave a curt bow from the waist, short and sharp, and turned again to leave.

This time, Lily reached out and snatched his shoulder, turning him round. She faceted him with a tender gaze. " Severus, please. You can tell me what is truly wrong."

Severus shook his head. " I can't."

Lily held his right hand in hers, barely repressing a shiver at how cold his skin was. " Let's discuss it over a dance, shall we?"

Severus looked away. " I'm not a very good dancer."

Lily laughed, a tinkling of bells. " It's a waltz, Severus, it's so simple, even James can dance to it."

A shadow passed over Severus's face. " James." He snorted derisively, but said no more. His eyes were darker, somehow, more cloaked and elusive.

Lily smiled. " Please." She touched a silken finger to his chin. " Just this once."

Just this once…

Severus nodded slowly, guiding her to the dance floor with his hooked nose lifted only slightly. He bowed to her, and she curtsied in return. They found the beat and began stepping in time, their footfalls measured and deliberate, following the waltz. It was in a minor key, a dance of remembrance and contemplation, not the joyful whimsy of a typical dance.

Lily felt his hand press into her shoulder a bit more firmly as the tempo increased, and they whirled over the floor with ease, Severus sure of his steps. She followed, letting him lead, winding in and out of slower couples, still managing to stay in time. When the measures became legato again, she took the opportunity to speak.

" Where did you learn to dance?" she asked casually." You're wonderful."

Severus appeared, from the tightening of his face to the clenching of his jaw, to not want to answer. Instead, he swallowed and replied calmly," My mother was prone to entertaining wealthy guests. Dinner parties and that sort of thing. Needless to say, when I was commissioned to help with trays, hors d'oeuvres, drinks, what have you, I would watch. And I when I wasn't serving elegant little sandwiches, I was peeking out from the adjacent parlor doors, through the keyholes, watching. I would study how the men held their backs straight, faces aloft, kept their feet close and their movements stiff. I would watch how the ladies drifted like clouds, their noses pointed, feet barely touching the floor before they were off again. I was enchanted. I wanted to try it." He smiled grimly. " I haven't had a chance to until now."

Lily grinned, catching his eye.

Severus sighed. " I've never danced with anyone before."

Lily laughed gently. " It doesn't seem so."

Severus worked his lip. " Are you…does…does James dance as well as I do?"

Lily thought to herself, better, but said nothing. She thought instead, measuring his tone, the hopefulness in that the one time, this one moment, he would be better than James Potter. She couldn't break his heart.

And yet, what else was she to do?

" Severus," she began quietly, and already his heart sank in his eyes. " I'm sorry. I love James. I love him with everything there is to love someone with. And while he may not be an amazing dancer, or a diligent student, he cares for me. He protects me and loves me. He…he's everything I've ever wanted. And some day, someone will think the same thing about you."

Lily leaned over and, gently, sweetly, kissed Severus on the cheek. She drew back and admired his face, awed and beaming. " They will be very lucky, indeed."

She opened her mouth to ask him to sit with her, to keep talking, to continue the connection, but like a frail thread it snapped as she saw James pivot, two sparkling glasses in hand. She used her moment of silence to gather her thoughts.

" Happy Christmas, Severus." She touched his hand, smiled, and walked away.

She glanced once over her shoulder, and then back again, sitting next to James and speaking with him as if he had never left her side.

Severus tried to smile back, faltered for a moment, and then succeeded, a genuine grin that lit his eyes like two ebony flames.

When she did not look back again, the flames did not die. They simply descended into the dungeons, lit by a grin that did not fade until the next morning's light.


Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, plots, themes, quotes, events, ideas, props, and other assorted items are property of J.K. Rowling. There is no money being made from the reading, writing, posting, correcting, listing, printing, or any other actions in connection with fan fiction of this fic.