I just have a lot of feels today so here's another oneshot.


"Okay," Jane muttered to herself, looking around her messy bedroom. Clothes were strewn across the floor and hanging on objects that bore no resemblance to a coat rack or a closet; a shirt was thrown carelessly atop a lamp and several dresses hung from the side table and the full length mirror she had stashed in the corner of the very tiny apartment bedroom. Skirts, pant suits and even more dresses littered the floor, but none of this seemed to be the least bit concerning to Jane. Her entire focus was on staring into her empty closet. Hangers hung bare from the wooden rod and any clothing left still in its rightful place looked old, musty and dusty: none of which appealed to Jane in the slightest. She let out a disgruntled sigh and collapsed backwards back onto her bed, sending a perturbed Jo Friday out from beneath it and skirting into the living room. "Why is this so difficult?" she said bitterly, closing her eyes and wiping nonexistent sweat from her forehead. "Jo," she called out again. The faithful pup looked in from the doorway, seemingly nervous at being disturbed again. Slowly he made his way back up onto Jane's bed and nestled his body in between her body and arm. "How about you go on this date and I just stay here and eat scraps out of the garbage and pee on all of my nice things?" The dog cocked his head to the side and let out a tiny yelp. "Yeah I didn't think so."

It seemed insane to Jane that she was laying in the aftermath of a clothing tornado all for a man she hadn't seen in months. The prospect of this date had always seemed so far away and so out of reach that the possibility of it actually happening wasn't even a thought. She had wasted so much time with Dean that the thought of Casey returning to Boston was a useless idea, and then thinking of Casey after Dean had betrayed her so badly seemed even more insane than him ever returning back home and asking her out on a date. It was a whirlwind of romance gone wrong and the result was Jane laying in the wreck.

Maura was the one to ask for fashion advice, but her relationship with Maura had been strained, at best, since they made up. There were only so many apologies one could give, and only so many one could accept, before both parties had to move on with their lives and try and pick up whatever pieces there was left and hope that glue was strong enough to hold it all together. It was taking longer than Jane ever imagined it would. There were no more after-case Dirty Robber nights and there certainly weren't lunches in the café. Rizzoli family dinners became nonexistent, because Maura always politely declined and Jane always worked late out of fear Maura would one day politely accept. And although work was pleasant and cordial and completely and utterly okay, Jane no longer ventured into autopsy just to talk with her friend. Everything had changed.

And it hurt.

So bad.

A month had gone by and Jane was at a loss of what else to do to make Maura happy. Truthfully, she had given up. Paddy Doyle's case was coming up. Maura had given her permission for Jane to testify, something Jane wouldn't do without her best friend's okay – and Maura, well, she had given up too. There was less strained and forced conversation, less placid smiles, less of everything.

Jane stood from the bed and grabbed the first dress off the floor that she saw. She undressed quickly and dressed even quicker. It didn't take long before she had slipped on a pair of strappy heels, a pair that she knew were Maura's from an evening so long ago, and plopped down right on her sofa, completely unenthusiastically, and waited for her date to arrive. She tapped her fingers against the wood of the side table and tapped her feet against the wood of the coffee table. Nervous habits, Maura always had pointed out to her. Nerves. Yeah, that's what you could call it. Nerves. She was nervous. Nervous to see Casey after all this time, nervous to go out on a date so soon after the Dean mess, nervous to trust anyone at all... nervous. Nervous that she wasn't going to have her best friend's house to go to after the date inevitably crashed and burned.

The doorbell rang and Jane pulled herself up. She smoothed her dress out first, checking herself briefly in the mirror by the door, and then tugged the door open fully prepared to be hugged by the muscular Casey. Instead, the smooth, pale complexion of Boston's chief medical examiner met her eye. They eyed each other out of habit; Maura's eyes trailed from Jane's loose, curly hair down to the black heels that projected Jane even higher up than usual. Jane looked from the soft blonde waves down to Maura's equally expensive but less fancy pair of black flats. Their eyes came back up and met each other and Jane awkwardly moved to the side, allowing Maura to step inside of the apartment that she hadn't found herself in for over a month. An excited Jo Friday greeted her and, like nothing had changed, Maura bent down and scratched behind the scruffy dog's ear. When she stood back up, Jane cleared her throat and motioned to the fridge.

"Did you, uh," she stumbled over her words. "-want a drink?"

"I'm sorry." Maura said quickly. "You're going out."

"No, no. No, it's fine. Really. Here, let me get you some wine-"

"-no I think I'll go, I'm sorry-"

"Maur, please. Stay." Maura froze. "Why are you here?"

Maura frowned. "Are you going on a date?"

"I can cancel."

"Why?"

"Because I want to know why you're here."

There was a long pause. "Because I miss you." she muttered. "And,"

"And?"

"Who are you going out on a date with?"

"Casey."

"He's back?"

"He's back."

"Not Dean?"

Jane's mouth dropped. "You can't possibly think I would go out with him after-"

"I wasn't sure."

"No, never. Maura," Jane shook her head. "Never. I could never. That was a mistake to begin with."

"What time will Casey be here?"

"Any minute. I can call and cancel-" Jane motioned to her phone sitting on the counter. Maura shook her head furiously.

"No, please! Don't. Not for me. I should have called. I shouldn't have presumed you would not have any plans this evening. It was foolish of me and,"

"Really, it's no big deal."

"No, I should be going." There were no goodbyes. Instead Jane watched Maura open her apartment door and disappear behind it, leaving Jane with her empty apartment, standing in a dress she didn't want to be wearing, in shoes that weren't hers, and the even emptier feeling she felt inside. Jo looked up at her unhappily, his great big brown eyes expressing just as much disappointment at the short visit as Jane's own eyes did. But Jane was barely at the couch when the door flung open once more and Maura stood there, fresh tears in her eyes. "Don't go," she pleaded. "Don't go. Don't go with Casey tonight. Stay here with me. Please."

"Mau-"

"-I am so sorry for being so distant and cold and for avoiding dinners and not coming up and bringing you coffee and for consulting with Frost when I should have been consulting with you and I am so sorry for hiding down in autopsy and for not returning your phone calls. I am so sorry, Jane." she said in one swift breath. "This is all my fault. Rationally speaking I should not be as emotionally tied to Patrick as I am; he isn't my father, he didn't raise me... but when you shot him, Jane, I..."

"You don't have to-"

"No, I do. I need to explain. I was wrong to blame you, Jane. There is nobody to blame but Patrick. He chose his life and he chose the wrong side but you... you've always been on my side, protecting me, and being there for me, and all the times you've watched me cry and be upset and be utterly ridiculous. Not even my own parents have been there for me like you have, Jane. You've been there. That scared me. Realizing just... how important you are to me." she sucked in some air. "And when I saw you shoot him... Jane, it was my reason to run away before I got hurt. I could blame you for something that wasn't fair to blame you for but, but at the same time... people wouldn't blame me either for being mad at you or for – for hating you."

"So all this," Jane said slowly, hot anger rushing up her body. "-you just wanted an excuse to break our friendship. Well you got your wish, Maura." she said bitterly. "There you go. Don't worry about it. Nobody has to know."

"No-"

"-I mean, really? You couldn't have just said something? Couldn't have found a way to just tell me you only wanted to see me professionally? God, I've been walking around here feeling like a villain. And all this time? Well that just wasn't even what you hated me for."

"I don't – I never – oh I did not explain this correctly."

"Save it. I have a date."

"No!" Maura grabbed Jane's arm and spun her back around. "Please, let me try again."

"Oh wait," With one hand keeping her balance on the wall, Jane brought her right leg up to unsnap the shoe from her foot. She dropped the first one at Maura's feet and then repeated the action with the other until she was standing barefoot and fuming in front of the exasperated blonde. "You probably want your shoes back. There's probably more somewhere in my bedroom. Feel free to take whatever you want back to your house while I'm out with Casey." Jane flung the door to her apartment open but didn't stand there long. She ventured over to the kitchen and opened the first cupboard, grabbing down two bottles of wine that Maura had kept there. "Don't forget these."

"Jane-" croaked Maura.

"Don't worry, Maura. Like I said, I won't tell anyone. Your image will stay in tact. God, I thought you were different."

"Different? Jane, I-"

"-but maybe I was wrong, maybe-"

"Would you shut up?" Maura yelled. It stopped Jane dead in her tracks. She hadn't realized she had begun pacing, nor did she realize just how tired her arms were from swinging them around. The room became so silent that Jane was sure the only noise either she or Maura could hear was the sound of Jane's rapidly beating heart. Her face was flushed from anger and surprise at Maura raising her voice. The medical examiner stood at the front of the apartment, Jo Friday staring madly up at her, clearly just as surprised at Maura's loud voice as Jane was. "You, Jane. You..." she took a step forward until she was close enough to touch Jane, but she didn't. Her hands hesitated. "-you are so important to me. And that scares me, because I have always been alone. I have never known how to be anything but alone. I have never needed anyone. Perhaps wanted. But Jane," Their hands finally clasped. "I need you. And I didn't want to believe that I needed you, because that would mean admitting just how much I truly, deeply love you. So I pushed you away. I wanted to prove to myself that I didn't need you, but I failed. I need you." Maura moved closed enough to Jane that their clothes touched just faintly. "I need you and I don't want you to not be in my life. I don't want to avoid you. I don't want to take my clothes or shoes or anything else of mine out of the apartment. I want to stay here forever." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Don't go."

"I don't know what you're saying." replied Jane quietly, her mind reeling. Her eyes were caught on Maura's lips edging closer and closer to her face. A hand slinked around Jane's waist to her back, pulling her closer until she and Maura's bodies were pressed against each other. She felt Maura's other hand tap lightly against her waist, her fingers dancing warmly against her clothed skin. A tickle ran up her spine causing her to shiver and pull closer to the woman.

"I'm saying I love you." husked Maura. "I'm saying don't go on your date with Casey. Maura enacted the kiss; their lips touched just long enough for all of Jane's thoughts to disappear, lost in a sea polluted with confusion, pleasure and awe. "Don't go." Maura mumbled again as she recaptured Jane's lips.

"Jane?"

Jane and Maura fell apart, their bliss broken only by the sound of a gruff male voice behind them. Casey was standing in the open apartment door, a bouquet of flowers held loosely in one hand.


The end.

Let me know what you think.

Have a good Saturday