11:47 AM, APRIL 21, 1984


I freeze in shock before letting fistfuls of chiffon drop to the floor in favor of planting my hands on my hips. "Hold on. Are you seriously telling me that you let Hyde pick the song for the first dance?"

Jackie gives me her patented I-can't-believe-how-careless-you're-being-with-my-clothing glare and pulls her dress back up. "Yeah. Why?"

"Are you crazy?"

"It was his only condition!"

I roll my eyes. "So he said 'I know I already proposed, but now I'll only marry you if you let me pick whatever song I want for our first dance as husband and wife, even if it's AC/DC or Van Halen?'"

She shrugs. "Not those exact words."

"Jackie!" I yell in exasperation. "The first dance is a very important part of the wedding! You can't let Hyde pick some random rock song about drugs and sex. It's supposed to be romantic."

"Oh, what do you know? You and Eric danced to Styx," Jackie says with a casual toss of her hair. She reaches her arms behind her back and starts fastening the many tiny buttons at the back of her dress. She stops after only a few, though, letting the top corners of the dress fall outwards as she turns to face me again. "You don't think he really picked AC/DC do you?"

I sigh at the slight panic in her voice and pick up where she left off with the buttons. "He might have. That's what happens when a control-obsessed girl gives her boyfriend the tiniest bit of free rein. He goes crazy with it. That's why I'm always reminding you that a relationship is an equal partnership between two—"

"Shut up Donna! We have a crisis and no more time can be wasted with your feminist mumbo jumbo!" she shrieks as I finish buttoning her dress. "Steven is going to ruin the wedding. You have to go find him. Tell him he's changing whatever song he chose to either 'Take a Chance On Me,' 'Tiny Dancer,' or 'Magic' or he won't be getting any on the honeymoon."

"What? No way, do it yourself," I say, crossing my arms as though they can protect me from the tiny, but vicious, demon-in-a-woman's-body in front of me.

"You have to do it! He can't see me in my wedding dress and I can't take it off now. Do you have any idea how many layers of chiffon there are on here? It's very delicate material, I can't be dressing and undressing every five minutes to go boss Steven around. So, you go do it for me."

"Why?"

She gives me an incredulous look. "It's maid of honor code, Donna. Did you even read the handbook I gave you?"

I throw my hands up. "God, fine! Anything to shut you up."


I don't bother knocking on the door to the men's dressing room. Eric and Hyde look up and quickly try to hide their beers as I barge in. My husband smiles, looking sweet and well-rested. Skinny jerk.

"Well hey there, pretty lady. You here for a quickie from the love machine before the wedding?" he says, giving me The Look. I'm pissed enough to ignore it.

"Actually, I have to talk to the groom on behalf of his lunatic fiancée. Give us a minute?"

Eric rolls his eyes dramatically "Fine. I'll just go make sure Kelso and Fez weren't serious about egging the reception room."

As soon as the door closes I turn to Hyde, who is buttoning his shirt. "Hyde, you have to change your song."

He gives me a quizzical look. "What? What the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't know what you slipped Jackie to convince her to let you chose something she would normally never let you have an opinion on, and I don't want to know, but you have to pick a different song for the first dance."

"You don't even know what I chose," Hyde says as he fastens the top button of his shirt.

"I know you and I know your music. Pick another song."

"Did Jackie threaten to beat up Forman and send you in here with a list? Let me guess…Abba, Elton John, and that chick from Grease. Am I right?"

"She told me she'd cut you off if you don't change it."

"She won't."

I clench my hands into fists to refrain from strangling him. What is it with this guy and his refusal to listen to reason? I speak slowly, hoping he'll comprehend. "I know you two have a sick habit of going at each other like rabbits fresh out of prison at any given moment, but if you piss her off enough there's no telling what she'll be capable of. She's only been trying to get you to marry her for a hundred and fifty years, and she's put just as much energy into planning this wedding. Please don't ruin it for her. She will be totally insufferable if you piss her off today. Change the song, for everyone's sake," I plead.

"You're making her sound like a raging bitch. Aren't you supposed to be her best friend?"

"I don't care if I am. Parker kept me up all night with his crying and your stupid best man slept through all of it. That midget has been driving me crazy for months with this wedding crap, and I put up with it in the hopes that if it went perfectly, she would be too happy to criticize my makeup habits. Don't you dare take that hope away from me, Hyde. Give her the freaking song."

Hyde places a black tie over his neck, under his collar, and adjusts the hanging ends. "She'll like the one I chose."

"Do you like the one you chose?"

"Yeah."

"Then she'll hate it."

"Jesus, Donna, will you give it a rest? It's done, get over it," he says while yanking the tie into a loose, haphazard knot.

"What song is it?"

"You'll find out."

"Hyde, you have to tell me. I can't go back there without any information, she'll murder me in cold blood and Eric is not equipped to raise a baby by himself. Just tell me the band at least," I barter, silently praying it's not Zeppelin.

"Zeppelin."

My eyes widen at his stupidity. "Are you crazy? Jackie will strangle you on the dance floor!"

"Would you calm down? It'll be fine."

"God, it's 'Black Dog' isn't it?" I groan. "You couldn't just pick a nice romantic song for her, it had to be Zeppelin and it had to be about sex."

"It's not 'Black Dog.' Although I'll probably request that one later."

"Why couldn't it be Sinatra or something? And don't scoff, Angie told me about your little private concerts with the broom, Sinatra-lover." I cross my arms and glare at Hyde. He looks hesitant, so I give him one more push. "Well, what song is it?"

I watch in shock as what appears to be a blush creeps over his cheeks. In all the years we've known each other, I've never seen him more embarrassed. He finally mutters the song title reluctantly. I'm silent, remembering the song's lyrics, letting the meaning of his choice sink in. Then I smile in amazement.

"Oh my god…"

"Shut up."

"Oh my god!"

"Shut up!"

"Hyde, you softie!" I exclaim, reaching over to punch him on the shoulder. "That is the cutest thing I've ever heard. Who knew you could be so romantic?"

"Would you get out of here?" he snaps, yanking on his already crooked tie.

"Aww, is sweet little romantic Steven getting uncomfortable? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you have feelings. It'll be our little secret," I say, laughing at his discomfort.

"Get bent."

"I'm going, I'm going. Just let me fix your stupid tie or Jackie will never forgive me." He holds still while I straighten and tighten the knot. He still looks nervous and uncomfortable so I give him a quick hug. "And Hyde?" I say before turning to go back to my best friend. He looks at me through suspicious eyes. "She'll love it."

He smiles slightly, reassured, and I step out of the room, closing the door behind me.


"Well?" Jackie says the second I reenter her room. Her veil is slightly askew in her wavy hair.

"Don't worry about it," I say, reaching over to adjust the pins holding locks of her hair and the veil up.

"Really? He agreed that quickly? How the hell did you do that?" she asks, almost suspiciously.

"He didn't change his mind."

"Donna!" Jackie yells as she pinches me. She ignores the scowl I give her. "Where is your loyalty? You're supposed to be my maid of freakin' honor!"

"Jackie, trust me. The song didn't need changing."

She stares at me in shock. "Really?"

"Really."

"Steven chose a good wedding song? Ha, I knew I was rubbing off on him!"

I bite my lip, holding in a chuckle. "I don't know how much you rubbed off on him, but the song is…perfect."

"Promise?" she says, looking sweetly nervous.

"I swear, Jackie. The song is absolutely perfect."