I have next to no clue about Westerns but the idea of JONAS being in a Western thrills me greatly and even if I know jack shit about Westerns, I wanted to write one. Prepare for horribly bad campiness and bad imitation of Westerns ahead. :D
For suburbs PHM Challenge # 9 – Stretch Your Imagination – What if JONAS were a western?
The Mark of A Gentleman.
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Timeline - Late 1800's (I think)
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Ominous music played in the background and tumbleweed skittered by the front the worn out wooden building. It was a lone ramshackle building that stood along with few others on the hard dusty ground and other than these few buildings, there was nothing else but acres of dry land and the occasional cactus or two.
Three men got off their horses and languidly strolled inside the saloon ambiguously named Buffalo Bill's Saloon seeing as it was owned by a pint sized woman whose name wasn't Bill and who was remotely un-buffalo like but could throw a punch that rivaled that of Buffalo Bill, an infamous hoodlum who had once terrorized the tiny desert town of Django. She was of course his great great granddaughter but made her living by honest means.
Despite the oppressive rays of the sun beating down on the three young fellas none of them looked remotely bothered by it. The saloon doors flew open and they strolled inside, lazily tipping their hats to the ladies who winked flirtatiously back and nodded amiably at the men who were sitting there and having a glass or two of some beverage to beat the heat and playing cards.
All three of them sat down at the bar and at once a small slight figure appeared before them, busily polishing glassware.
"And what will it be for you fine gentlemen?" A lady—yes a proper lady, at least she looked like one, greeted them with a cheerful smile.
" Howdy Ma'm. For me, a glass of your finest please," said one of the young men taking off his hat and placing it on the countertop next to him. He had a head full of curls and an amiable grin to the boot. The lady looked at the other two men questioningly and they answered:
"Like ya' even have to ask Miss Misa, we'll have Kevin's havin'," said the young man with smoothly partioned hair, referring to his brother. The curly haired man was Kevin—he was the eldest, the smooth haired one was Joe—he was the middle one and the other one that didn't speak at all the youngest, Nick.
The woman—who was named Macy Misa nodded and kept out three shot glasses. She then took out and old dusty bottle and quickly filled up the glasses. The liquid brimmed over, hissing as it hit the countertop.
Kevin nodded his thanks and raised his glass in toast before downing it in one gulp.
"That was some fine hot chocolate milk, Miss." He said grinning.
"Why thank you kind sir, I do try to provide the best," Macy said with an elongated drawl and the twang of her words pronounced.
"Say Miss, ya know where I might find Stella?" Joe asked hopefully looking around.
"After last time, she said she didn't want to see you especially since you took up with Betty Jo," Macy said with a glare.
"I didn't take up with Betty Jo, she threw herself on me!" Joe said indignantly.
"Well lookee what we have here. And that's what you said the last time Joseph." Said a pretty blonde snorting delicately as she materialized beside Macy and gave Joe two eyefuls of anger.
"Stella darlin', I was lookin' for you." Joe said wheedling and practically grovelling. Meanwhile Nick choked on his chocolate milk. It was a little too strong for him and besides; this whole Joe Stella thing was too darn funny.
"Don't you sweet talk me boy," Stella said severely as she deposited a tray full of glasses at the sink and then came and stood in front of him. She eyed Joe with a glare and Nick rolled his eyes. Kevin would have rolled his eyes too but he was rather caught up with makin' moo eyes at Miss Misa. There were better places to be than here. He tipped his hat to Macy in thanks for the drink but she didn't even notice and then looked around. His eyes alighted on a pretty blonde who was coyly gazing at him. Nick grinned. He knew her. Penny wasn't it?
"Kevin, tighten your britches and make a move. It's been too darn long and poor girl must be wondering' if you's touched in the head or sumthin'," Nick said in a whisper in Kevin's ear. Naturally that threw Kevin off balance but he simply cuffed Nick and pushed him away. Nosey little brothers. Always up to something they were.
Nick glared irritably at Kevin. Why did he even try? Oh well, he'd off wash his hands off of this whole thing and concentrate on that blonde.
Meanwhile Joe and Stella began arguing like always and Kevin turned a deaf ear to them. He too had more important things to concentrate on. Like the lovely lady in front of him.
//
"Say Miss, how's that horse of yours? Still givin' ya trouble?" Kevin asked as his eyes followed Macy wherever she went. He felt love for her something fierce. Of course, he was just a good ol' cowboy who worked at the nearby ranch while she was the daughter of the town layer and a real lady even if she could throw a punch just as good as any other man who was worth his britches.
'Kevin, you need to stop calling me Miss. Call me Macy. I call you Kevin, don't I?" Macy said kindly as she gave him a refill on his hot chocolate milk.
"Oh I couldn't do that Miss. Yer a lady and I'm a cowboy." Kevin said blushing. It was always like this. He'd address her as Miss and then she'd tell him not to and then he'd blush and she'd blush too. It was something of a tradition between them in the two years that they had known each other. He didn't get much time off from the ranch but when he did, he'd come straight here more to see her than get a drink. Joe of course came her pretty often seeing as this was where Stella worked and he and Stella had something going on that no one could quite define. Joe worked on another ranch as did Nick which Kevin considered a blessing because it meant they wouldn't rile him as much as they usually would have.
"Ladies don't throw punches or throw grown men out," Macy sang out as she moved around the counter and picked up someone by the scruff of their neck and threw them out. That fine gentleman had overdosed on the chocolate milk and was now bouncing off a sugar high which he would now wash off by dousing his head good in the water trough meant for the horses.
"Fine ladies do." Kevin added with a subtle smirk. It threw Macy of balance and she blushed, giving him another refill and that too on the house. Kevin sighed into his chocolate milk. It was all very well to dance around like this but maybe Nick was right. Maybe he needed to tighten up his britches and be man like his old man taught him to be.
He was just about to ask Miss Misa to accompany him to the Hoedown Throwdown dance when the saloon doors flew open and banged against the walls.
"Oh lordy, who could that be breaking my doors?" Macy said with a gasp as she craned her neck around Kevin to look at the new arrival.
In strode in a man who was dandily togged up in the newest of clothes, right down to his bright red boots and huge white ten gallon hat.
Kevin turned around too and groaned when he saw who it was.
It was that fella, the one who owned the ranch where he worked at. He never was there and spent all of his time at the city. That fella was a crazy one if there ever was one. He didn't know much about horses and all he cared about was the ladies and chocolate milk. He fairly made Kevin want strangle him and if he did put any of his fancy city slicker moves on Macy, then Kevin would strangle him with his lasso, God help him.
"And what can I get you sir?" Macy asked politely as the man came and sat down next to Kevin.
"One glass of your finest little darlin' and you," he said drawling and throwing a sly smile her way. Kevin's fingers itched and his hand moved up to his holster which hung from his waist.
"We serve our finest only to real men," Macy said pointedly and served Kevin. Kevin grinned, not even bothered about the fact. It felt rather nice that she thought about him as a real man and all. Nick could shut his yapper now.
"He's only a cowboy," the man said derisively looking Kevin up and down. Kevin struggled to remember the man's name. It was something not very Texan. Van Dyke or something, a name for sissies sure enough.
"Why thank you sir, I sure am happy bein' a cowboy," Kevin said nodding amiably. Macy smiled at him in return, glad at him for not rising to the bait.
"A glass of your finest now woman. You don't know who I am and your little upstart saloon should be glad to have me here." Van Dyke now said tersely, his britches in a mighty old twist.
Instead of a glass of Macy's finest, what Van Dyke got served was a punch from Macy who was now thoroughly incensed. Nobody could call her place names and get away with it. Not even city slicker gents who clearly didn't know what was good for them by mouthing off about her place in the first place.
"You'll pay for that foolish woman!" shouted Van Dyke jumping up and brushing his self off. His face was suffused a deep pink and more than getting his clothes dirty, he was angry about the fact that a woman and a small one at that had decked him.
"I'll have this whole place burnt down if it's the last thing I do," he spat out, spittle flying everywhere. Macy just glared at him and pointed him towards the door. But it seemed like the man wasn't going to go quietly. Instead he reached over the counter and made a grab at Macy. He instantly knew it was the wrong thing to do because it made Kevin's blood boil and he jumped off his stool and hauled him off and then punched him for good measure.
"Get your filthy hands off of me, you cowboy. I know you and I'll make sure you lose your job." Van Dyke snarled, struggling in Kevin's hold. By now everyone was looking at them and Macy gripped the countertop tightly as she watched.
"I'll sooner quit myself sir, if you don't mind me sayin'. No gentleman hits a lady. Clearly you are no gentlemen." Kevin said derisively as he hauled Van Dyke out of the saloon. People followed them outside to watch the drama with Macy pushing through the crowd. She hoped nothing would happen to Kevin. He was such a fine young fella and he made her heart race so and if anything happened to him, she'd feel very sorely about herself.
Van Dyke felt about his person and suddenly brought out a gun and pointed it at Kevin's chest awkwardly.
"Now that's all wrong sir." Kevin said kindly as he took the gun, cocked it and held it properly to Van Dyke's head. His hat was hanging askew, his clothes were muddy and he was now blubbering. What a sad sad man.
"Now this town ain't big enough for the both of us. So you might wanna to kindly take yourself back to yer fancy town. And if you ever come back, I'll make sure that you don't see the sunshine shine no more." He let go of Van Dyke with a thrust and then rubbed his hands off like he were shaking off some dirt. Van Dyke now thoroughly humiliated picked his sorry self off the ground and set off in search of his horse, a small and humbled figure.
The patrons of the saloon went back in and only Macy and Kevin remained inside. His brothers hadn't even come out in the first place, because firstly, they were entertaining some real pretty ladies and secondly they knew that he'd tell them later on.
"That was very brave of you," Macy said smiling widely at Kevin and sidling up closer to him.
"It was only doin' the right thing Miss. No hits a lady. It's un-Christian and cowardly." Kevin pointed out bluntly.
"So you only hit him because he was acting all sorts with me or because he was acting all sorts with a lady?" Macy asked casually, her normally warm eyes now sparkling.
"Well miss, it was for both reasons. But I was angrier that he was goin' to hit you." Kevin said boldly. It was about time anyways. And besides, his britches were tight enough now.
"You know Kevin, clothes or money don't make a gentleman," Macy said thoughtfully.
"Then what does?" Kevin asked curiously, feeling immensely hopeful with where this seemed to be going.
"Manners like yours," Macy said with a grin. Kevin blushed and tipped his hat in thanks. But beyond that he couldn't seem to voice any coherent thoughts.
"Well aren't ya gonna ask me?" Macy said impatiently.
"Ask you what?" Kevin said confused.
"To the dance. Nick said you would and I've said no to so many men because I told them I was already spoken for." Macy said with an engaging smile.
"So am I spoken for?"
Kevin took of his hat and drew Macy closer to him and into his arms. He slowly bent his head down to kiss her and sighed as he did so. Sweet mother of god, she tasted as good as the chocolate milk. Even finer. Macy melted into his arms and put her arms around him. Two years she'd been waiting for this, ever since he walked into her saloon and asked for a drink ever so polite like. And now it had finally happened. If she had known all it would take for Kevin to make a move was to have a city slicker take a swing at her, she would have made it happen much sooner. She smiled against his lips and deepened the kiss.
Kevin finally broke off the kiss and hugged Macy closer to him.
"You most definitely are Miss," he murmured with a contented smile as he rested his head on Macy's soft hair.
//
"Look Joe, our Kev finally tightened his britches!"
"Why yes he has!"
"You rascals, wait till I catch you and give you a hiding!"
Poor Van Dyke. I made him the bad guy. Anyhow, please excuse me for the bad attempt at the Texan accent. I may have confused it with the Tennessee one but I did try to keep with the Western theme. Hope it didn't turn out too bad. :)
