the kids will take their monsters on

SUMMARY: A collection of various AUs centered around the theme of monsters as well as the act of hunting them. Assorted characters.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wrote this particular chapter last night and right after, was inspired to do several more. Like "Let's Play Pretend", it's going to be a bunch of drabbles, but unlike "Let's Play Pretend", they probably won't be connected in any way. Just kids doing badass things. Hunting monsters, sniffing out witches, destroying ancient covens of vampires, fighting off zombies, etc.

EDIT: I've decided to alter the plot of this slightly. It still will be random drabbles, but they'll have something in common. But, there is no underlying plot. Like I said, badass kids doing badass things. THIS FIRST DRABBLE, however, is completely unrelated to the rest of the series. Or, you could think of it as a prologue of sorts if you want. Up to you.

The title of this series comes from Automatic Loveletter's wonderful acoustic album that I encourage everyone to check out because Juliet Simms (who was a contestant on the Voice!) has a wonderful voice.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own.


"And aren't you two just bunch of sunny fellows."

Mikasa Ackerman turned to Reiner Braun with a fearful expression on her face that was only heightened by the presence of the machete in her right hand and the gun strapped to her hip. "We're scavenging for supplies in the middle of zombie-infested territory. I'd be more worried if you were cheerful."

Reiner shrugged, switching his axe from hand to hand. "Hey, all I'm saying is that maybe you and Levi over here," he pointed to the shorter man who like Mikasa, had a blade in his hand, "should lighten up a little. You know, for group morale."

"We have plenty of morale," replied Levi smoothly. "The Yeager brat has enough morale for an entire city."

Mikasa threateningly stepped toward Levi, but was stopped by Reiner who thrust out the handle of his axe. "Hey," he said. "Let's save the fighting for the zombies."

"Exactly," said Jean Kirstein, who'd been made temporary leader of the group for this particular mission. He pressed a finger to his mouth. "Be quiet now. We're getting close."

The group snuck around the corner of an abandoned pharmacy. Their destination—a grocery store that looked unplundered—lay ahead. However, the place was teeming with zombies who staggered about. Some of the figures had missing limbs, dragging themselves along the ground using their shattered arms.

"Ugh," whispered Sasha Braus, her crossbow banging against her shoulderblades with every step. "It smells here."

Jean shushed the group. Pointing to a lower building near the store, he motioned to Sasha's crossbow. "Here's the plan. Since Sasha has the long-range weapon, she's going to take the high ground. Mikasa, and Levi are going for a frontal assault. Keep as many of them away from the entrance as you can. While you're doing that, Reiner will accompany Connie inside to grab the supplies.

"Once you've gathered them, get outside and send up a green flare. If there's an emergency, red flare. Black one for zombie blitz. Everyone clear?"

"Crystal," said Mikasa.

"And what about you?" Asked Levi, who was polishing his machete with the back of Reiner's coat. The latter didn't seem to mind too much.

Jean pointed to his rifle. "I'm a sniper. I'll be going with Sasha."

Connie, Sasha, and Reiner immediately put their hands together for a group send-off. Jean reluctantly joined, looking to Mikasa for back-up. She sighed, but put her hand in as well.

"No way," said Levi.

"Levi," said Mikasa, her voice low.

"No way."

"It's bad luck if we don't do it," said Connie. "Last time, we nearly lost Eren."

"That's because he was grabbed by a crawler," argued Levi. "That has nothing to do with luck—hey!" Mikasa had grabbed him by the wrist and added him to their huddle.

"Alright," said Sasha. "Team Asskickers!"

"That's our name?" Connie looked disappointed. "I was going for something cooler."

"Like?"

"Like the 'Demon Destroyers' or something."

"But the zombies aren't even demons!" And Sasha would have probably kept arguing with Connie if it weren't for Jean dragging her away by her crossbow.

"You ready for this?" Levi asked Mikasa once they'd reached the entrance. "Try not to choke up, newbie."

Mikasa spun her machete in her hand—a showy, if risky maneuver. A zombie took notice of them and began teetering toward them. Levi moved to take it out, but Mikasa was faster, dispatching the monster with a quick stab of her blade. Another approached her from the right and without even turning her body, she sheathed the machete, drew her gun and shot it through the head. As the bodies fell to the ground around her, she looked over at Levi with innocent eyes. "Try to keep up, will you?"

Not one to be outdone, Levi sprung into action, beheading zombies left and right without getting so much as a drop of blood on his face. "Oi, Ackerman," he huffed after cutting through the throat of a particularly stubborn one, "I killed four more than you did last time. I should be telling you to keep up, brat." He said the word without any venom; he knew that their faux rivalry was what really kept the two of them from succumbing to the hopelessness of their world.

"One, two, three," Mikasa pointed to the carcasses around her, "aaannndd four." She drove her weapon through the head of another zombie. "I'd say we're even now." She stood with her back to Levi, scanning the perimeter.

After what seems like hours of cutting and stabbing and shooting, Reiner and Connie finally appeared. Reiner's axe was red with gore, but his smile was bright and his knapsack heavy. Connie's grin was just as wide as Reiner's. "You guys done flirting, yet?" Reiner asked, heaving his weapon on his shoulder.

"We're not flirting," said Mikasa grumpily. Putting a hand to her ear, she sent up the green flare. From a rooftop nearby, Jean and Sasha responded in kind.

"We're competing," reasoned Levi. "I'm just trying to show Ackerman that experience trumps youth."

"Yow, keep that sex talk away from me," joked Connie. "I'm too young to hear this."

Levi rolled his eyes. "You little—!" He stepped forward, but faltered. A pair of clawed hands, bones poking out from rotted skin, grabbed him from behind and began dragging him backwards. Levi tried to reach for his machete, but in shock, he'd dropped the weapon.

Reiner immediately grabbed his axe, but it was too large and he would have injured or killed Levi in the process of saving him. Connie held up his gun, but the chances of him avoiding Levi were slim. Luckily, Mikasa had her machete in hand. Racing forward, she approached the zombie from the side and with a lethality she saved for special occasions, drove the blade into its head, only stopping when the walker stopped thrashing about.

Levi pulled the hands away from his neck, wincing. "Good save, Ackerman."

Mikasa yanked Levi's hands away from his neck, her eyes burning. Cupping his face with her hands, she turned his head to the left and then to the right. When she saw that there were no scratch marks, she sighed with relief.

"That was a close one," said Connie. "I thought you were a goner."

"Sorry about that!" Sasha called out as her and Jean drew closer to the group. "We would've shot, but we weren't within view."

"Ackerman was here," said Levi.

"Let's get out of here," said Jean. "Before any more zombies come."

Everyone nodded and began heading back toward their camp out in the mountains.

"Nice job, Ackerman," said Levi grudgingly. The two walked a little ways away from the rest of the group.

"You scared me," said Mikasa. "I thought you were going to turn."

"If I do," Levi's voice dropped, "you put a bullet straight through my head, you got that? Only you."

Mikasa nodded, knowing there was no use in arguing about this topic. "Same goes for me. The moment I get bitten, shot me. I'd rather die a human than a zombie."

"Won't be happening," said Levi. "You and your brother are like goddamn cockroaches. You're gonna outlive us all. I'm probably going to die before you brats."

Then, Mikasa kissed him. "Not gonna happen," she said, pressing her forehead to his. And with an uncharacteristic smirk that reminded Levi she'd probably been spending too much time around Jean, she picked up her pace and joined up with the rest of the group.

Levi touched a finger to his lips, partially turned on and more than a little pissed off. "Brat."