"When I sleep… I see things. My dreams. I dream of having kids. They come from me, from my flesh, my body, from inside me. My gifts to the world. They play together with, friends, being children. No fears. Yet it always ends the same way…

"I watch them die.

"I wake up sobbing, clutching at my chest, reaching out to babies that my mind created, raised, and then destroyed. A lifetimes passes in the late hours of my dreams, and as I speak their names, crying into my pillow, the moment the words cross my tongue… I forget them. They were the loves of my life. They were my existence. From dusk to dawn, I had a family. I was part of a family. My family. My children.

"My tears dry. My heart slows to a calming beep. Yet deep within my soul, I can feel their loss. Their deaths eat at me, but my mind remembers that it was only a dream. My dream. And they were destroyed by this world."

This Dream

"You awake?" His voice cut through my thoughts, snapping me back to reality. I jolted a bit. My sniper rifle slid from its perch upon my shoulder and down to the cup of my arms. I gripped it moments before it would rattle upon the rooftop.

"Yeah." I stood up and stretched. Another morning was about to welcome us. I gave up counting how long I'd lived in the world.

"Good. Tank is on the radio. Wants you to check in for a mission, ASAP." Mitchel walked back into the building and descended the stairs. He was the outpost's head man. The boss. I didn't like him. This base should have been mine, but I wasn't going to argue with Tank or Tina. They gave me my orders and I obeyed. At least the White River treated me better than the Capital.

I grabbed my gear, looked out over the town and the straggling zeds that lumbered the streets, and walked back into the outpost. Inside the concrete building, dozens of survivors walked about carrying crates of supplies, ammo and clothing. I had to dodge my way through a crowd of smokers who hovered near an open window, blowing thick white clouds of lung exhaust out of the side of their lips. I gave them a side eye and the all nodded toward me as passed. A few of the bolder men eyed my ass as I passed.

I walked to the control corner and an old black man stood to offer me his seat. "Ghost, Ma'am! Radio is clear for you."

"Thanks. Tell the smokers they can go to the roof now." I sat in his seat and he ran off to the smokers. I pulled the headset on and adjusted the boom mic and earpiece. "Ghost."

~ "Hey kid."

"Dad."

~ "Stop it." Tank laughed.

"I haven't anything new to report if…"

~ "I have a mission for you. But I also wanted to check in on you. I know you don't like Mitchel, but he's been in the White River longer than we have. He was due for a lead position."

"We do the dirty work and the brass get the credit. Nothing changes."

~ "Mitchel must be nearby"

"Standing right beside me. Listening to every word we say." I turned and looked up at the middle-aged white man. He was looking down at me with a scorn on his unblemished face and a headset over his ears. I smiled at him.

~ "Mitchel, sorry for the wild child. She has a bit of a sharp tongue."

"Don't care, Sir." Mitchel said calmly. "She kills the zeds like Death on a mission. That's the only thing that matters out here. What's her operation?"

~ "Tina has a convoy of supplies headed to a Trader Joel outpost. I want Ghost to run the team."

"Fuck, Tank!" I groaned into the mic. "You want me to babysit a bus?"

"Gotta agree, sir." Mitchel added. "It's a waste of her skills."

~ "That would be the case, normally, but the trader is near the old Airfield of Zone 14."

Mitchel questioned. "Airfield 6?"

I asked, "Why are we going there? That's capital territory."

~ "The trader based near there reported that he's getting a lot of traffic. Scouts that were in Zone A14 under my old command bunker are starting to go out on their own. With no local leadership, they are eager to trade with the White River Settlement. But this is also a good opportunity to find out what we know about the capital's position since we left. So you'll also be going there to talk to some of them, find out what's going on."

"Talk?" I groaned.

~ "I'm sending you because you know how to protect yourself, and you know how Scouts think. The trader's outpost is within Zone B15, but he is right on the border of Zone A14, easily the best location for supplies near the Airfield in A14, and mostly all of his clients appear level headed, so we're certain they're not bandits. You set up at his fort and talk to the clients and scouts as they come and go. The trader has a long-range radio so you can communicate with us often. 1 week operation. Questions?"

I smiled and chuckled. "Sending me to the opposite side of the zone… is Setra pregnant?"

~ ". . . Contact me when you get to the trader, girl." Tank laughed.

Tank closed the line and I took off my headset and gave it back to the operator. Mitchel folded his arms and glared at me. "I don't like this." He said sternly.

I smiled. "It's probably a trap, Mitchel. That's why Tank is sending me. Could be the Capital trying to bait us out, find the White River's Headquarters... maybe."

"How do you determine that from what Tank said?" He was sincerely curious.

"That Airfield. If I'm being sent there, then something is off." I rubbed my chin. "I'm going to go ahead of the convoy. Tell them to go straight to the trader's fort. I'll meet up with them at some point. I need to scout the border and see how much traffic is going in and out of Zone A14."

The airfield near our border was several days away. I packed up my truck, loaded the flat bed with digging supplies and rations. I stopped driving after eight hours, parked the truck on the side of the road, ate some rations and walked up into the hills. It took me twenty minutes to string up my hammock in the tops of the largest tree I could find; it had been a long time since I had to sleep in the trees, and I was rusty. I set my watch for four hours, which meant I could sleep until dusk. Chugged some water and stared up into the clouds.

I don't remember when I fell asleep. I don't remember how many clouds I counted, or the number of birds that chirped near my ears. All I remember was the scream of my children. The zeds swarmed around them, tearing the flesh from their bones, eating them alive. I remember not being able to load my sniper; my thumbs clumsily grabbing at the magazine and my hand feeling too slow to pull the hammer back. I couldn't aim. I couldn't get the stock to my shoulder. I was too slow.

My arm began to vibrate. My nap was over. My eyes swelled with tears and exhaustion. I've never had a child in my womb, and I doubt I ever would, and so it angered me that my mind was betraying me in such a way.

I looked down to the floor of the forest to make sure none of the dead had gathered under my resting spot. To my immediate frustration, the coast was clear. "I was hoping to kill something." I dried my eyes, gathered my composure and packed my bag.

"Ghost!"

A voice carried on the wind. I froze in place, one hand in my bag, the other hand holding a branch for balance. I listened. Waited for another sound. Rustling grass caught my attention, and it was close.

"Ghost! You out here? Show yourself, you fine line of caramel."

I exhaled. "Fuck." I finished packing and ignored the man. My hope was that he would simply keep walking and not find me, but Raymond Bernard was the best tracker in all of the White River, and perhaps the known world. He would find me, and chances are he already knew where I was.

"You in the trees, or underground, sweetheart?" He ruffled the grass even louder, deliberately alerting me to his presence.

"You know where I am, Raymond." I wrapped my leg around the tree branch, untied my hammock and stuffed it into my backpack.

"Yeah." He laughed. He was directly below me. "Mitchel said you took off before the convoy could even gather a guard detail. What you sniffin' at, out here, gorgeous?"

Raymond was slightly older than I was, moderately strong in the shoulders, fat in the gut, his skin was black as the night, and he was a terrible fighter. Despite all of his weakness, however, he could find a tick on the back of a zed bear in a forest on the far side of the Earth, with only a flashlight and a compass in his hand. Then he could pluck the tick, kill it, skin the bear, and walk away with the pelt before the bear even knew what happened to it. Or so he likes to tell people.

He was also the one man I could never be mean to, despite my reputation.

"Why are you out here?" I asked as I climbed down.

"You're headed to Trader Joel's shop." He said as he chewed on some pecans he found. He was always eating something. "I know the keeper there. Trader Zen. I venture out to his fort about once a month. Good friend."

Once I reached the ground I took a few pecans out of his hand. "Let me guess that you found my truck, and followed my tracks up here?"

He chuckled. "Almost. I did see your truck, but I also knew you'd head to the highest vantage point in the area and sleep during the day. You always stick to your tried and true tactics." He offered me a jar of water. I took out my own and started walking back to the road. "But I also figure you're not really headed to the fort."

I stopped walking. "Now you're being nosey."

"Trader Zen is to the west. You're heading south." He walked up to me. "Where you going?"

"Scouting the area. I want to see…"

"See how much traffic is coming in and out of the Zone. Right, right… sure… but you should be heading West. Toward the setting sun? That way? You missed two turns that would have taken you closer to Zen. You have a map…"

"You see, Raymond. This is why you haven't gotten laid. You won't stop talking."

"I get that." He chuckled. "And in a world where every man is fit, rugged and strong, women get to pick and choose. I'm fat. Food is easy to find if you know what to look for. I just want to make sure you're going to be okay out here. I read Tank's report on Zone A14. Sounded terrifying.

"What was his name? Z? The unkillable Z!"

I turned and looked into Raymond's thick brimmed glasses. "Tell me everything you know."

He took a half step back. "Ghost, I know you've been driving all over Zone 15 looking for him. Your truck has three thousand miles of off schedule mileage. You burn more fuel then any of our patrol teams. Mitchel pitches a fit when you're gone for days at a time. This is the only area you haven't checked."

Raymond truly was the best tracker I'd ever met. "Thought I was doing a pretty good job covering my tracks."

"Supply runs?" Raymond smiled. "It's enough to fool the weak minded, but not Mitchel and certainly not me."

"Okay, so you know I'm looking for him. You here to tell me that it's stupid… a death wish? Or are you here to offer your support in exchange for my love and affection?"

"No." He looked up at the setting sun on the horizon. "I'm here to give you a better map." He reached into his pocket and handed me a map of the terrain: it had details of hills, key markers, elevation, lakes, valleys, biomes, and known points of interests. "Like I said, I come here about once a month to hang out with Zen. I made this over the last year. Hard to believe you were simply a zone away, fighting your own personal war against the capital. Convincing Tank and Setra to defy your leaders and break free from them. I've never explored beyond the airfield. Joel told me to avoid it all costs, but I had to get close to finish my maps."

We walked to my truck and I tossed my gear in the rear bed. My eyes were locked on the map for the duration of our walk down the hill, and while Raymond talked.

"That airfield is a death trap now, but I'm sure you can handle it. I was terrified every time I went there, but I'm good at hiding. I hope that map helps you…"

I shoved my face to his. My tongue met his tongue and I pulled him closer. He was stunned into silence, as it was hard for him to talk with my lips pressed his against his. When I pulled away, he simply glared at me. "You're a sweetheart. Don't change. Thank you for this."

He adjusted his glasses, and took a freshly sharpened combat knife out of his pocket. "I'll be at Zen's when you get back. If you find anything new that is not on my map, update it please. Don't forget, you have a week to check in with Tank." He walked past me and stabbed a staggering woman in the head. She was beyond rotten, more bone than flesh. She crumbled to the ground and he began checking her clothes for anything useful.

I climbed into my truck that I thought I had hidden quite well, and started the motor. When I looked up Raymond was already gone. He always rode on a minibike, despite having access to faster and safer vehicles. He had most likely parked nearby and slipped away into the fading sunlight as I got ready to leave.

I rubbed my lips. I had not kissed anyone like that since Sierra. It was odd. Raymond was not what I considered a desirable man. Hell, I knew woman that I was more attracted to, but there was something about him. He was genuinely a nice guy, and not a threat to me. Perhaps that was why I could never bring myself to be mean or outright attack him.

I drove throughout the night till I reached the last checkpoint on my map. I cross-referenced it with Raymond's map and knew that I was close to the border. From here on out I'd walk. I ditched my truck several yards off the road, hid it as best I could and then covered it some more just to be safe. It was far easier to hide my truck from the average scout or bandit, however nothing would get past Raymond.

When I left my truck, I walked off road. I grabbed grass and twigs as I went, stuffing bits into my suit to fill it out and create my camouflage. I unpacked my binoculars and ascended a hill. Beyond the horizon was Zone A14. It had been a long time since I went out on my own. The last time was when I left Tina in Navezgane.

I doubled check my rations, water, tools, and ammo. Z was out there, and so was the capital. If something was going on, I'd find out what it was and end it my way.

# # # # #

"Radio. Patch me through to the Trader Joel's, Zen's Fort. I'm getting tired of waiting."

"Yes sir. I've got Zen."

"Zen, this is Tank over at central."

~ "Oh. Yeah, yeah yeah… Raymond said you may call. Hold on. He wants to speak at ye."

~ "Sir?"

"Raymond, this is Tank. Ghost hasn't checked in…"

~ "So… she didn't contact you?"

"No. She was supposed to check in two days ago. Has she at least spoken to the convoy?"

~ "No, sir. Zen hasn't seen her, and none of the convoy guards have seen her either. I was hoping you had talked to her. I… don't think she came back from Zone A14."

Tank huffed. "Raymond, tell me everything."

~ "She… I'm sorry sir. I should have talked her down. She… she went looking for Z."

"I'll be there in a few days. No one leaves. Out." Tank turned from the command room and stormed toward the stairwell leading to the lower floors. Every eye locked onto him as he moved out of the room. No one dared to speak, accept for Tina.

The White River Settlement's adopted Zone leader stood from her desk and followed Tank out of the room. Hobbling on her prosthetic foot as best she could in order to keep up. "I think you need permission…"

"If you tell me I can't go, Tina, I'm going to hurt your feelings."

"Will you just wait-a-minute!" Tank stopped and she stumbled into his back before she could stop her forward progress. "Damn it… I need to fix this thing."

Tank turned and looked down at her. "If she's still alive I'm going to go find her."

Tina looked up into the wrinkles crossing Tanks middle-aged face. "We need to be smart about this. She's not some child who went missing. It's ghost… the second best zombie killer I've ever seen. If something got her then it is a real threat. Besides, she goes off the radio like this all the time!"

"Sure she does." Tank agreed. He turned and continued walking. "But never without telling me."

"What about Setra?" Tina added. "You can't leave without telling her!"

"Setra is coming with me."

"What?" She gave chase as Tank continued to walk down the stairs. "You can't take our medic!"