Author's note: Ok, so this may end up as little Insert Sueish in places, but I figured I'd have something on standby to write if I'm ever bored or need cheering up. So, this is set in an Alternate Universe, for those unfamiliar with the term AU, so Light never took the Death Note. Please read, review, and enjoy.

Death Note AU: Oh the irony

Chapter 1

Katherine was walking home from another typical day at school, wondering if it had been such a good idea to move to Kanto. She'd been living in Japan for two months now, but she still only had casual acquaintances and people she barely knew, no proper friends. But she wouldn't have the money to move anywhere else until she could get a job, since her parents had spent enough to let her go to Japan in the first place and she didn't want to have to sponge off them again…they already paid her rent.

As Katherine strode down the familiar streets, the cherry blossom petals falling round her, she noticed Ami Hayashi, a girl she knew a bit from school, carrying what looked like a black notebook. Intrigued, Katherine tried to strike up a conversation, "Hey, Hayashi-san! Since we're walking the same way…why don't we walk together?"

"Hn?" Ami turned, thinking for a moment to remember who she was talking to, "Ohh, you're Bennett-san, the English girl. Well, I suppose since we're going in the same direction I can spare a little time for you."

Katherine grinned, not sure if Ami was being stuck up but hardly caring, "So, is that a new notebook? It looks really nice."

"This thing?" Ami smiled, but her eyes weren't smiling with her, "It's just something I found outside school. I thought I'd keep it, just in case it belongs to anyone. I mean, it'd get all dirty and broken if I left it there."

"Is there anything written in it?" Katherine, admittedly, was slightly tempted to see what the mystery person might've written, "Maybe you'll be able to find out who it belongs to by what they wrote."

"I guess I'll check when I get home." Ami's smile twitched a little, "But I'm sure whoever lost this'll just say."

"Why not look now?" Katherine asked, feeling a little guilty about wanting to pry into someone else's privacy, "I mean, with two of us working on it, we'll find the owner quicker, right?"

"Oh, would you look at that, here's my house, I should get in quick, my mom gets worried if I'm not home really quickly, even if I'm just standing outside." Ami giggled nervously, nudging Katherine gently to carry on, "You should be getting home too, it'll be dark soon."

"Of course." Katherine smiled, "Well, it was nice talking to you, Hayashi-san. I hope you find the owner of the notebook."

Four months later, L and Katherine were talking on MSN. Katherine had almost been the victim of a serial killer back in England before she decided to move to Japan, and L had been responsible for apprehending him. Since then, Katherine and L had kept in contact as friends, and today was a day when L had just wrapped up another case.

'I never would've guessed he did it like that' She typed, glad to have a moment to relax, 'How'd you figure it out?'

'It was quite simple once I had the final clue.' L responded, causing her to smile.

'That's what you always say.' She rolled her eyes, 'But it takes genius to be able to figure all that out so quickly.'

'Not really. It just takes a bit of abstract thinking.' He replied, 'I'm sure with enough time you could've done it.'

She blushed, quickly changing the subject, 'Have you heard about all those accidents?'

'Yes. To be honest I find some of them to be a little ridiculous despite proof. Perhaps a media stunt?'

'They're all quite ironic though, aren't they?' She replied almost without thinking.

'How do you mean?'

'Well, the first one reported was that man who was crushed by a ladder in Shinjuku. It was vaguely mentioned that he was afraid of heights…that's pretty ironic for an accident. And then there was the other one, when the guy accidentally drank insecticide. He was a botanist who hated insects eating his plants. And there's the third one, with the girl stabbed by scissors, the aspiring artist who specialised in collages…all of these accidents have a hint of irony to them, don't you think?'

There was a long pause before L typed his response, 'I'm coming to Japan. Do you have enough room at your apartment for me to stay for a while?'

She blinked, not quite understanding, 'I think so…why?'

'We have a case on our hands here. A series of ironic accidents seems too suspicious to be true.'

Katherine wasn't the best at finding her way around Kanto, even though she'd been living there a while. This was mainly because Katherine was always apprehensive about going out by herself, and having few friends to go out with meant she usually stayed near her flat unless she absolutely had to. Unfortunately, this meant Katherine was now stumbling around Kanto trying to find the airport in preparation for L's arrival the next day.

"It's hopeless." She sighed, looking around, bewildered and miserable, "I'll never find the airport and I won't be able to meet L there."

"Excuse me." A curious voice from behind Katherine startled her, "You seem a bit lost. Can I help?"

Katherine smiled at the stranger in front of her, "Thank you. I'm looking for the nearest airport to here. I'm supposed to be meeting-…a friend there tomorrow, so I figured it would be best to plan my route now."

The stranger smiled back, "Wise decision. I'll walk you there if you like, wouldn't want anything bad to happen on the way, and it's easier to show you where it is than explain it."

"That's kind of you." Katherine sighed with relief, and the two began walking.

"So what's your name?" The stranger asked.

"Katherine. Katherine Bennett." She replied, feeling a little awkward about talking to a stranger, "And yours?"

"Light Yagami." The stranger paused, then asked, "So, Katherine, did you hear about all those accidents that have been happening recently?"

She nodded, wondering if this conversation would lead anywhere, "Tragic, isn't it?"

"Indeed. But also highly suspicious…" Light trailed off, before picking up again, "Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course." She was by now intrigued by the peculiar Light Yagami.

"I don't think they're accidents." He said, his voice lowering slightly, "There's always some element of irony in it, an irony that after this many accidents is hard to think of as so accidental. Someone's making all these things happen."

"I thought the same thing." Katherine blurted out, surprised that someone else had the same path of logic as her, "I mean, some of the irony is just too ridiculous to be accidental."

"We have to tell someone." He decided, "There has to be an investigation, or whoever's organizing this will get away with it."

"Don't worry." She smiled, laughing somewhat nervously "I'm sure that the police or some detective'll notice eventually. After all, if two students could, surely the police is more than capable of coming to the same conclusion."

"What makes you say that?" He frowned, clearly the cogs ticking in his mind.

"No reason. I just have confidence that nothing unjust goes unpunished for long, and the police will have people smart enough to guess this." She was talking too quickly, so even if her excuse had been valid, Light could barely distinguish it.

"I don't mean to be rude, but you're hiding something." Light said bluntly, "And from what I can deduce, you must know some kind of detective, or someone in the police force."

I sighed, "If you meet me at the airport tomorrow, I'll see if me and my friend can explain things." She brightened up a second later, "We might get some decent help with you on the team."

The airport was packed when Katherine arrived, but had no trouble in spotting L amongst the crowds. She'd know the face of one of her fondest friends anywhere. And the fact he wasn't wearing any socks was a bit of a giveaway. Apparently he hadn't forgotten what Katherine looked like either, "Hey, Kit Kat, over here."

She smiled, wandering over to her friend and treating him to the tightest hug she'd ever given, "You made it here ok, L!"

"While we're here, it's best if you refer to me as Ryuzaki." He stated calmly, though he seemed a little off balance from the hug, "Why didn't you think I'd make it here alright?"

"No reason, I just figured…" She mumbled, her sentence dying away.

"Did she call you L?" Light raised an eyebrow, grinning, "And did he call you Kit Kat?"

"It's a nickname." Her cheeks suddenly turned bright red, then smiled, "Ryuzaki, this is Light Yagami, he came to the same conclusion I did about the accidents."

"Oh?" L seemed a bit shocked, but it was difficult to tell with someone who rarely had much expression, "That's quite the achievement, Yagami-san. Maybe we should talk once we get back to Katherine-chan's flat."

Katherine's flat was quite small, but with more than enough room for her and L to live, if Katherine slept on the sofa the three were now sitting on and they didn't have too many dinner guests.

"I'm stunned." Light said, unsure of how to respond to meeting a famous detective, "I had no idea you had contacts in Japan, or that you'd fly all the way out here for an unconfirmed case…you know the irony thing is just a theory…I've been thinking it over, and maybe they are all just accidental."

"However, this is a theory I find too interesting not to look into." L sipped at his tea, which he'd put at least five sugars in, something Light found perplexing but Katherine understood. She found tea much too bitter if she didn't load it with sugar, "We should at least look into similar accidents and see if we find any correlations between them. If we find enough correlation, there's a high chance that somebody had been putting these all in place, and we are, in fact, dealing with murder. If this is the case, we'll have to get the NPA involved somehow."

"Oh, that won't be a problem." Light grinned, "My Dad's a Detective-Superintendent, and I've helped him solve enough cases for him to hear me out. He should be able to persuade enough people that it's a valid case."

"Excellent." L smiled, something that didn't happen often, "Now, Kit Kat, are any of those cookies you've been carrying around going spare?"

"Hn? Oh, yeah, of course." Katherine laughed, a bit too loud and for too long, "I guess I forgot about them in all the excitement of planning our investigation." She opened the paper bag she'd been holding onto for the past hour or so, and handed a cookie to Light and a cookie to L, then started chewing happily on one of her own.

"White chocolate?" Light raised an eyebrow, "That's a little unusual."

"You got my favourite." L said, nearly spraying cookies crumbs everywhere, "That's kind of you."

"It's no problem. I like white chocolate cookies too. All the goodness of white chocolate in the wonderfulness of a cookie." She replied, managing to demolish her cookie at record speeds as opposed to L's approach of savouring every bite.

"So how did a sweet English girl meet a world famous detective?" Light pondered, his curiosity getting the better of him.

Katherine looked down at the floor, not answering. She didn't like to remember that day. She'd met L, but before that she'd been so scared…the knife had been so close…

"That's a delicate subject." L swallowed the last of his cookie, "It's best we leave the matter alone." Both L and Katherine dived their hands into the bag of cookies at the same time.

There was an awkward pause before Katherine drew her hand out, "You first."

L took a cookie, then paused, "Hold still, Kit Kat. There's something on your face."

"Oh, is there?" Katherine seemed a little panicked, "What? Where is it?"

"Don't worry." He lightly brushed the crumbs from the corner of Katherine's mouth with a finger, "It's gone now."

"I could've got it myself if you'd just told me where the crumbs were." Katherine mumbled, her embarrassment and awkwardness evident in her tone.

Light looked at his watch, looked back up, then had to double take, "That time already? I have to be getting home."

"That's a shame." L said in his usual monotone, "I suppose we'll have to begin investigating tomorrow."

"Bye, Yagami-san. Hope you have a safe journey," Katherine smiled, waving despite there not being any need to.

"See you tomorrow then, Katherine-san, Ryuzaki-san." Light smiled back and shut the door behind him.

"Nice guy." L sipped at his tea again, "We're fortunate to have someone like him on our side rather than the opposing side."