Just something fun I worked on one random night. Don't yell at me for grammatical errors, I'm too lazy to read over it XP. Oh and yes, this is my first fic so don't scare me. Reviews would be nice, too. Jhonen Vasquez owns JTHM and all such characters, not me.


The Prize

Johnny sprawled comfortably on his old filthy floor. He was scrawling away in his diary about his day. The usual. New victims brought in to rot in his underground labyrinth, some people staring at him as he walked to the convenience store to buy himself a cherry fizz wiz, and he saw a camel crossing the street by his home. You know, the usual. The voices had settled and only silence loomed in the small room. Just as Johnny lost himself in his writing, a strange knocking sounded from the door.

"What the hell ISthat intolerable noise?!" Nny yelled to himself out loud.

"Someone is at the door," Mr. Eff said as he walked into the room alongside D-boy. He looked as irritated as Nny did by the ringing.

"The door? I still have a door?" Nny asked confused.

"Fuck! Answer it and make it stop! Deal with whoever is there or something. We were just in the middle of that new soap opera," D-boy replied angrily.

Nny got up from the floor and looked out of the boarded up window to see who was outside. It man dressed in a formal tuxedo and a plastic smile was out there holding some balloons. Nny picked up an old rusty knife that was laying against the wall, hid it behind his back, and steadily opened the door.

"…helllllllllllo…?"

"Well hello there! Is this Johnny C.?" the man in the tuxedo asked. His voice was loud, excited, and obnoxious.

"Who the hell are you?!"

"I'm here to inform you that you have just won the Happy Man Company Drawing grand prize! An extravagant trip to Hollywood!! You and three of your lucky friends will be getting a trip the city of lights, stay there for three days and two nights ALL FOR FREE!!!"

"………."

"Er, oh and these balloons are for you!" the man exclaimed handing Nny the big batch of balloons. Nny took them awkwardly.

"……….."

"Who is it?" Mr. Eff whispered from behind Nny and D-boy.

"Yes! We won! We won! I told you that entering that contest would pay off!" D-boy whispered back happily. "Nny, you fool, tell him you accept!!"

Johnny's eyes grew wide as he heard his two voices talking behind him.

"Uh, would you excuse me for a moment?" Nny asked politely. He quickly slammed the door before the man said anything. He turned around suddenly, released the balloons, and, put his hands to his hips, glared at Mr. Eff and D-boy.

"Oh come on, don't tell us you're angry that you won," Mr. Eff said pitifully.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU TWO DO?! I DON'T REMEMBER ENTERING ANY FUCKIN' DRAWING!!!" Nny screamed at the top of his lungs not even worrying that the man outside would probably hear him.

"Weeelllll, we thought it would be nice for us to all take a relaxing trip to Hollywood. You know, see the sights, laugh at all the people who think they're celebrities but actually aren't," Mr. Eff explained.

"No! We are NOT going!!!"

"Hey it'll be fun! It will give you a chance to unwind and possibly do some sightseeing, you know? And you get to bring three others! That means you can bring along the ugly, filthy rabbit of yours too! It'll be great!" D-boy said.

Nny continued to glare at the two Doughboys with hate in his eyes. He began to think about the trip. Maybe it was worth reconsidering?

"Just how badly do you two want to go?" Nny asked thoughtfully.

"Oh, we want to go dearly!"

"Yeah! If we had really did have hearts, you would be breaking them by saying no!"

"Errrr…I don't know…weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll…"

"Well…?"

Nny stroked his chin as he continued to think about it. A few moments passed and Johnny let out an exasperated sigh. He opened the door and faced the creepy, happy man once more. He still had the weird smile on his face.

"Alright, after thinking about it, I guess I'll go." Nny said half-heartedly.

"Great!!"

"When do I leave?"

"Well now if you would like!"

"Alright…"

Nny turned around and saw the two excited Doughboys prancing around in excitement. They had even packed up Nny's sharp belonging in his backpack for him. He grabbed the backpack and walked out. The two Doughboys stood at the door readily.

"Where do you think you two are going?" Nny asked angrily.

"With you, of course! We were the ones who entered you in the drawing! So we're coming!" Mr. Eff yelled back.

"Well it was in myname therefore I get to choose who comes with me! And guess what!! YOU TWO AREN'T INVITED!!!"

Nny slammed the door shut.


Yay! Wasn't that fun?!?! Uhhh…yeahhhh…