When WWE Superstars Go To A Local Wal-Mart Chapter One

A/N: Mentally-Unstable has RETURNED!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Bah..) Ok, yes, I'm famous in my head..haha! Anyhoo, I don't own any of the WWE superstars(as much as I wish I did..like...Charlie Haas? OK...I do own him! He's tied up on my couch..heehee) I own Autumn And Melony!! Ok, maybe not Melony..lol. SCREW IT! On with the story...

"I'm boooorrrreeed!!" Kurt Angle whined as he drove the large van full of WWE superstars around the small town. "Dammit, Kurt! Stop being a pain!" Chris Jericho said, slapping Kurt on his bald head.

"Let's go to the mall!" Stacy Keibler yelled.

"There's not a mall..I already checked." Rico said in a distressed tone. "Look, it's..WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...Wal-Mart." Ric Flair said, "WOOO"-ing again. "Oooh! Super Wal-Mart! Let's go in there." Kurt said, pulling the van into the parking lot and parking in the first spot he saw. All of s sudden, Stone Cold Steve Austin drove up on his 4-Wheeler and parked next to the van. "You can't park here, it's a handicapped spot," Stone Cold said, guzzling his beer. "I'm afraid I'll have to give you a ticket."

"But I AM handicapped!" Kurt opened the door and wheeled himself out on the wheelchair ramp.

"Oh..well, I'm gonna write you a ticket anyway." Stone Cold tore a ticket off, handed it to Kurt, and drove away.

"Ah! Dammit!" Kurt yelled, sounding a lot like Cartman. So, the WWE superstars headed into Wal-Mart.

"Hey Kurt, lemme borrow a quarter! Please?!" Dave Batista pleaded. "No way man, it's my only quarter!" Kurt wheeled himself over to the gum machines. "And I'm SO using it to get this cool cross tattoo."

"Oooh! I want one too.....FOR I AM THE RIGHT HAND OF THE FATHAH!!!!!!!" Mordecai yelled, picking up a random person and doing "The Crucifex" on them.

"Dammit, Mordecai! You're gonna get us arrested!" Melony said angrily.

"But I'm the right hand....."

"I KNOW THAT!"

"Oh...."

"I want a quarter!" Dave yelled.

"Here, Dave." Autumn said, handing him a quarter.

"YAAAAY!" Dave walked over, put the quarter in the mechanical horse and got on. The horse started moving and happy music started playing.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" He yelled happily.

Everyone stared at him and pretended they didn't know him. Most headed into the store, while Ric, Rikishi, and Chavo Classic played the animal machines.

"Dude! This place is huge!" Edge said, grinning,

"CLOTHES!" Stacy yelled and started running.

"Wait for me!!" Trish Stratus yelled and ran after Stacy.

"Hey, I think I'll rap about Wal-Mart!" John Cena said and started rapping. "Yo, I was up in Wal-Mart..uh..what rhymes with mart?"

"Shopping cart!" Melony said.

"Ok, perfect. Yo, I was up in Wal-Mart, pushing my shopping cart, saw some Nike's on sale for 15 bucks, man, I couldn't believe my luck!"

"Yaaaaaaaay!" Random people applauded.

"Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" Ric yelled as Randy Orton pushed him in a shopping cart as fast as he could.

"I want an icee." HHH said and headed towards the snack bar. "Oh! ME TOO! ME TOO! ME TOO!" Jericho yelled and ran after HHH.

"TESTIFY!!" D-Von Dudley yelled.

"Dammit, D-Von! We came here to look for cameoflauge! Not spread the gospel!" Bubba-Ray said and hit D-Von on the arm.

Eddie and Chavo were in the frozen food section...

"Hey man, check it out! Hot wings!" Eddie held up a bag of frozen hot wings.

"Oh dude, you gotta get some!" Chavo grinned.

Eddie laughed and stuck the bag of Hot Wings under his shirt, "Maybe they'll think it's muscle." He said.

RVD was in the produce section. He held up a cantaloupe, squeezed it, and said "Mmm..juicy."

Charlie Haas, Rico, and Miss Jackie were in the make-up isle.

"Hey Miss Jackie, is this color me?" Rico asked, holding up some pink liquid eyeshadow.

"I think so..why don't you ask Charlie?" Jackie said, smiling.

Rico turned to Charlie, "Well, what do you think, Charles? Does this color say RICO?"

Charlie glanced back at Jackie and nodded, "Yeah, I agree with Jackie." He said. All of a sudden, Shawn Michaels ran up and gave Jackie "Sweet Chin Music".

"I'M NO T YOUR BOYTOY!!" He yelled and walked away.

Rico and Charlie couldn't help but laugh.

Autumn came out of nowhere and started beating Jackie with a stick.

Rico and Charlie laughed harder.

Meanwhile..in the sporting goods section..

HHH was bouncing on a huge exercise ball while sipping his icee. "Hey..you think this will help my abs?"

All of a sudden, Eugene bounced by on a rubber ball and William Regal was chasing him.

Melony and Edge pretended that they didn't know HHH.

Jericho was bearby, looking at a FLEX magazine and sipping his icee.

Danny and Doug Basham were riding little girly bikes up and down the toy isles when Rhyno came out of nowhere and "Gored" them.

Meanwhile...in the electronics....

Eruc Bischoff was checking out the selection of DVDs.

Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore were playing video games and Rene Dupree was looking at $3.88 movies. "I love a good romance." Rene said when a store clerk walked up. "Excuse me, sir, but pets aren't allowed indoors." The clerk said, pointing to Fifi.

"What? Noooooooo!! I can't go anywhere without Fifi!" Rene yelled. Kane walked over and choke slammed the clerk. "Ohhhhhhhh Rene!" Kane said. Rene reamed and ran away.

Melony, Edge, Autumn, Rico, and Charlie walked up.

Trish and Stacy were fighting over a pair of pants in the clothing department(which was right next to the electronics). Rico walked over and picked up a red and black lingerie piece. "How would I look in this, Charles?" He asked. Charlie fainted. Autumn hesitated and then gave Charlie mouth-to-
mouth resusitation which lasted about 30 minutes.

Kurt wheeled himself over, there was a fake cross tattoo on his head. He saw Autumn giving Charlie mouth-to-mouth on the floor and ran over them with his wheelchair. A bruised and beaten Jackie walked up and Edge "Speared" her and then Kurt ran over her.

Melony snatched the pants away from Trish and Stacy and bought them for herself.

All of a sudden, the lights dimmed and green Hurricane symbols appeared everywhere.

"Stand back!! There's a Hurricane coming through!!"

The lights came back on and The Hurricane and Rosey were looking at DVDs with Eric...or WHERE THEY?!!

To Be Continued...

Mentally-Unstable: Well? Did you like it? Doesn't matter..cause I do.

Charlie on couch: What were we doing?

M-U: Oh yeah..(picks up a whip) Hehehehehe....(turns camera off)

(Insert cheesy porn music here)