Disclaimer: Please people, be smart. I'm not JK Rowling, that much is obvious.

A/N: I'm not quite sure what this is. I don't really like angst, yet this is pretty angsty. I don't quite like it per se ... I don't know. Just tell me what you think, yeah?

The title is taken from one of the title threads in FA Park. When I heard it, it just kinda seemed to fit. The other one I was considering was: I've Had It With This Game.

Oh, and if you're going to flame - at least leave me some way to contact you. Generally, I agree and want to know how you'd fix it. Okay?

Broken Pottery

James Potter, Lily Evans knew, was always happy. When they had four foot essay assignments, when it rained for days on end - he was still happy. Always perpetually happy.

Even when she rejected his constant attempts to woo her, though he looked rejected for a bit, she knew it was all just part of his image - he was still happy, even then. Everyone knew that he only asked her out to annoy her - or to try and be funny. Life was a joke to him - so why shouldn't he always have the annoying grin on his face?

In fact, she had decided a while back, it would be weird if he wasn't happy. Then that would mean that his life wasn't just a joke - that he was actually serious about something - but no, that would be way too strange to ever happen.

So then when she was getting out of Charms late one day and James Potter, clutching a scrap of parchment, walked by, smile nowhere to be seen and instead replaced by what looked like tear-streaks on his cheeks, without so much as a "Looking good, Lily" Lily was a little more than confused.

"Potter," she said without thinking, turning to see him.

He didn't turn around, only straightened up a little, so Lily tried again: "Potter?" Nothing. "James?"

This time he turned. However, he had gotten farther down the hallway so Lily had to walk closer to him in order to talk normally without yelling.

"I-" she began, stepping forward and extending her hand a little as if to console him. When James flinched away a little, she stepped back and brought her hand up instead to chew nervously at her nails. She looked at the floor for a moment, grasping at words. "Are you okay?" She asked, looking up at his face. He was looking down at the floor too - then further down the hallway as if he would very much like to go that way - but then looked at her once she spoke.

"What are you doing, Evans?" He asked harshly soft.

After so long hearing "Lily", Lily drew back at the way he said her surname. She cowed into defensive, arms tucked tight into her chest. She expected he would add something to that, but when he didn't for a few moments, she said: "What do you mean?" soft and caring, as if not to frighten him. She untucked her arms from across her chest and brought them down to wring together near her stomach.

"Why do you care?" He scoffed, his voice sounding cruel and foreign to her ears. She backed up even further away, her mind sending up protective shields around her soul.

"I don't," she said, to protect herself. She was coming back into the game now - this sick game they played, addicting, alluring, impossible to win because no matter what they did they would both end up hurt.

James stared into her defiant eyes. He seemed to decide on something, because he nodded once then began to walk away again.

This - this was not how the game was played. He wasn't allowed to just walk away like that! "Potter," Lily yelled angrily at his retreating back. It echoed loudly down the hallways in both directions.

He turned around. "What?" He asked, sounding tired.

Lily now regretted her harsh tone. She walked to him once more. "I-" She began again, not knowing what to say. "Erm, as Head Girl it is my duty to–"

"Cut the BS, Lily!" He said, sounding angry once more. "It is not your duty! Have you forgotten that I'm Head Boy? I know the rules too!"

When she didn't respond, choosing instead to look down at her feet, he continued: "Why do you f-ing care?" Except he didn't say "f-ing". "What does it matter? You've won, okay? I'm done! I can't do this anymore. Just leave me alone." By the end of his tirade, he looked so beaten that Lily immediately felt sorry.

"I didn't mean to - I wasn't-" she stuttered, searching for the right words.

"Why don't you just come out and say it, Lily?" James asked, bearing down on her. "Why the need for the fake sympathy? Why the nice words? We both know what you think about me, so you better just bloody well say it!"

He was now so close to her - so close - she started to back up, but found she couldn't. All she could do was stare, terrified, up into his blazing hazel eyes. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think. What came out of her mouth next, then, startled and surprised not only James, but her own ears as well. "I was wrong about you," she whispered so soft he could barely hear it- yet it whisped through his ears and into his brain and somehow it was registered, because he began to look much less threatening. "You - life isn't just a joke to you, is it? Something - something's happened. What's happened, James?" Her eyes went to the piece of parchment he still clutched in his left hand. "Is it a letter, that parchment in your hand? What does it say?"

James looked so taken aback by what she had said that Lily knew it would take him a moment to formulate a response - so she waited, staring deeply into his eyes. They seemed to soften a little - from stormy cloud-ridden seas to a kind of murky green peace - and she smiled. He looked for a moment as if he was going to smile back but then he frowned and his eyes seemed to turn upon her - casting her out once more into their choppy anger.

"Don't you dare turn this on me, Lily Evans," he said quick and sharp, like an arrow into her heart. She knew this would happen. She opened herself up to him - trying to help him - and instead he managed to hurt her.

"Turn what on you?" She asked, meeting his anger word for word. "I'm only trying to help!"

"Help yourself, you mean?" He snarled. "Face it, Evans, you're the only person you've ever tried to help."

"That's not true!" She protested angrily.

"Oh yeah?" He asked. She couldn't even bear to look into his eyes now - she chose a spot right over his shoulder instead. "What would happen after this meeting, Lily? Would we go back to normal? Pretend like this never happened?"

"I would never do that!" She said, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew she would. She frowned and James gave her a knowing look - he knew what she was thinking.

"Exactly. Good night, Evans."

"I don't care what you think!" Lily shouted at his retreating back, eager to try and retaliate. To try and keep him out here one more minute longer - because that one more minute may mean one more minute he had to reconsider and apologise.

James turned around, a cold detached look on his face. "You mean nothing to me," Lily said, purposely trying to hurt him now.

James shook his head then stared directly into her frightened eyes. "Then why are you trying to keep me out here, Lily? Why did you talk to me in the first place? If you really don't care - then why are you still here?" His voice had raised above normal talking voice and he paused, collecting himself."When you figure that out, please, let me know." He seemed to clutch at the piece of paper even harder in his hands as he turned around once more.

This time, however, Lily let him go. She, for once, was speechless.

A/N: Yeah, I guess this is just me tired of seeing dopey James and perfect Lily always getting together. This is me trying to write realistically, I think. I'm not sure. Did it work?

P.S. James' letter says that one of his parents are dead from some disease that they suffered from for a long time. He's sad.