It's funny how the knowledge of your own impending death opens the door for regret. She'd always thought she'd live well into old age, complete with greying hair, wrinkles and photos of her children and her children's children lining her walls. Yet even as this image floated through her mind she felt a deep sense of relief. Relief that Mick wouldn't have to watch her get old and die. A quick death now was better than the inevitably one that would come at the end of a long life. 'Inoperable' the Doctor had said, followed by words such as 'I'm sorry', 'not much time' and 'settle your affairs'. Outside the surgery people milled about, some hurrying here and there, others laughing and talking with friends, family, lovers. She watched as a couple, oblivious to everyone else, embraced, warm lips making contact, eyes seeing only each other. In her chest, her heart ached, tears welling up at the corner of her eyes. There was so much she hadn't done, so much she hadn't experienced. She would never get married, never have babies, and never make love to her soul mate. She knew that there was a way she could have all of this and freeze death before it could claim her, but she also knew, as sure as the sun would set, that she couldn't do it. 'Settle your affairs' the Doctors voice said again in her mind. She made her way to her car parked at the curb, started the engine and headed home. She didn't have time for regrets.

Three hours later, as the sun was sliding from the sky she knocked on his door, knowing that by know he should be awake. He opened it, staring down at her with tousled hair and warm eyes and she bit her tongue to stop herself from breaking down right then and there. 'Hey' she said, glad her voice sounded so normal. 'Hey'. He stood aside motioning her in, and as she passed him she inhaled his scent, wanting to memorise it so that later, when she left, she could take it with her. 'Everything ok?' he asked, a frown marring his handsome features. 'Yep' she said dropping down onto the couch. 'You Sure? You seem a little..off'. 'Just tired I guess' she said. 'So to what do I owe this pleasure?' he asked taking a seat opposite her, long legs stretched out in front of him. Brown eyes bored into her as if searching out her most hidden secrets. 'I have to go away for a few days actually and I thought I'd pop in and say hello before I left'. She hoped it sounded convincing enough. He stared at her and said nothing. She stared down at her hands nervously, saw that they were clenched so tightly her knuckles where white, and released them. 'Where are you off to?' he finally asked. 'New York. I need to do some research on a story'. His eyes narrowed slightly. 'Anyway' she said rising from her seat, 'I better get going or I'm going to miss my flight'. 'Do you want a lift to the airport?' he asked walking her to the door. 'No. It's fine. I've got a taxi picking me up from home in half an hour'. 'I'll see you when you get back?' he asked. 'Of course' she agreed with a soft smile. They stood there looking at one another, and for the space of a heartbeat she nearly gave in. Nearly reached out and kissed him, nearly broke down and told him everything. He was the first to look away and it gave her the impetus she needed. She turned and walked down the hallway, her heart splintering into a thousand tiny shards. From his place in the doorway he watched her move away from him. Her heartbeat pounded in his ears, her lies slicing into him like the sharpest of blades. Why was she lying to him? What wasn't she saying? The elevator arrived and just before she moved into it she took one final last look at him, and it was enough to tell him everything he needed to know.