The Epic of Riker's Forbidden Love
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by Faceless and Lone Gunfreak


Riker was a big strong man
while Westley still played Candy Land
And though the crew might disapprove
Will and Westley fell in ... loove?
Age doesn't matter and love knows no gender
but tell that to Dr. Crusher who put Riker in a blender
And drank him down and shit him out and la la la la la
okay, so maybe not but she tried - oh, Allah!
He fended her off by promising to wait
until his love Wesley was age 10 plus 8
Or, at least, that's what he said
but he got that boy back in bed
Now he's a pediphile
he's no good, dirty and vile
While the rest of the crew has good, legal love
Riker's with Wes, both below and above
And the crew had not a clue
and as sure as horse = glue
Wesley started pukin' each morn
in 9 months, an evil-love child be born
half-Riker, half-Westley, oy what a combo!
Bev Crusher pounded Will's head like a bongo
But Wes cared not what anyone said
desapite how his mom beat Will in the head
Wes refused to abort their kid
Or sell it on e-bay to the highest bid
They decided to name it after Captain Picard
But he said if they did, he'd rip it apart
Before poor Riker Bev began to neuter
Data found something on the ship's computer
Wesley and Will weren't alone in Starfleet
someone else had performed this amle pregancy feat
Long ago, Captain Kirk knocked Spock up
and they had a litter of Spirk pups
" We'll ask Kirk and Spock what they think we should do"
Picard announced to his crew
" Um, isn't Kirk in captain heaven?
C'mon, Jean Luc, didn't you watch Star Trek 7? "
" As long as chickens are made of McNuggets
as long as you can chug it
I'll love you, Westy-poo! "
Riker said to the terrified crew
" Oh, shut up Riker! Enough - TMI! "
his pissed off crewmates started to cry

LG : Gah, now I'm in Spanish class
Eric's not here! I wanna stare at his ass!
F : Eric's ass, it is a nice one
But you'll never get to grab those buns
Cause he doesn't swing your way
Now back to the story, ok?
LG : Yes, Facless whatever you say
But ... will I ever get a taste of AJ?
Oy, with the comments, we do this evrytime!
But now they're more annoying - our stupidity's in rhyme!
F : To answer your question, no
He deals acid, you should know
And yes we do
Annoying, it's true
So let's get on with the story
Or I'll make you fuck Prime Minister Moori
LG : ( Is that anime? I don't watch that shite )
I'll start already, alright, alright!

Our fic's going nowhere, so I'm gonna add
Klingons and Romulans - hey, the Borg ain't too bad!
Lots of cool villians to disrupt the crew
cause frankly, I don't know what else to do
( Prime Minister Moori of Japan?
Dude, don't you ever watch C-Span? )
" We've come for the child ", said the Romulans
" We've come for the child ", said the Klingons
" We've come for the child ", said the Borg
" or we'll send all you morons to the moron morgue "
" we've joined together, the kid's our messiah
so, fork him over, or we'll all open ... fiah "
So as you can guess the borg won
they took Data too ( you know, just for fun )
If just Wes was taken, only Bev would care
but those bastards took Data - that's not fucking fair!
The Enterprise shot them with photon torpedos
and Data appeared clad just in gold speedos
( cause gold matches his eyes
guess who's one of our fav Star Trek guys )

All lot of stuff had happened and I'm sure it was real fun
but I've got to go, my free period's almost done.