1.
Mr. Carlson came into the front office,
"Hey, gather around, everyone! I've got some exciting news to tell you."
They gathered around him. Dr. Johnny Fever came from the recording booth. Andy Travis came out of his private office.
"Next week, we're having a very special guest coming to the station—Nancy Reagan!"
"You mean—the First Lady?," asked Herb.
"That's right! She's going to do some promos for her 'Say No to Drugs' campaign."
"That's wonderful!," said Les. "I can't wait to tell her what a wonderful job her husband is doing for our great country! When's she coming?"
"Next Tuesday. She'll be here for a couple of days."
"I shall write up a little speech for her!" He went into his office.
But Andy and Johnny were not smiling.
"Why'd she have to come to our station?," asked the Doctor.
Andy shrugged his shoulders. "Who knows!"
2.
The First Lady came in at 10:00AM, that Tuesday. She receive a warm response from some of the employees and a lukewarm response from some of the others. With Les Nesmon's help, she recorded a couple PSAs.
3.
The First Lady came into the recording booth. Johnny Fever was there, on his shift.
"Hello," she said.
"Hello," he said.
She walked up close to him and sniffed. "You've been smoking marijuana, haven't you?"
"No comment!"
"I can have you arrested, right now."
"Go right ahead. I've already smoked most of it, and the rest is in Cincinnati 's plumbing. Unless your husband has just passed a law making it possible to jail people just because they smell of it!"
"It's people like you that made me start my anti-drug program."
"And it's people like you that made me smoke pot, in the first place!," he yelled. "And that goes for your husband, as well!"
"You are a very rude person!"
"Rude! Do you know what's rude? Arresting thousands of people for smoking a little grass, every year—that's rude!"
"Millions of people's lives are ruined because of drugs. Thousands die, every year."
"Oh yeah? Name one person who's died from smoking pot!" She didn't answer. "You can't, can you?"
"Just because no one's died from marijuana doesn't mean it's totally safe. There are long term effects from it."
"Oh, sure. Smoking pot all your life will make you stupid. Drinking booze all your life will make you an alcoholic. Smoking cigarettes all your life will make you dead!"
"I do agree with you, there. Tobacco and alcohol are too much a part of society. I hope the same thing doesn't happen to marijuana."
"It already has, Mrs Reagan!"
"Think so?"
"You and your husband might put a temporary dent in it, but mark my words: 20-25 years from now, it WILL be legal!"
"Not if I can help it!"
"Stop and smell the weed! Why, there's at least 3, or 4 employees of this radio station who also smoke it!"
This shocked her. "Is that so?"
"Yes, that's so!"
She stood there for a few seconds. Then she said, "Excuse me," and left.
4.
A few minutes later, Andy came into the recording booth.
"I just had a talk with Mrs Reagan."
"You did?"
"She said that she's decided to go to another radio station to do the promo."
"I see."
"And she says that it was talking with you that convinced her to do that. Is that true?"
"We had a few words."
"Officially, I should reprimand you. I should even fire you!"
"And unofficially?"
He smiled and shook the Doctor's hand.
"By the way, she gave me some brochures. She said , 'Some of your staff really need to read this.'"
He pulled out some anti-drug literature. He and Dr Fever ripped them up together.
5.
This is your doctor, Johnny Fever, saying, "Say no to drugs." Unless it's some good Acapulco Gold, that is!
And with that in mind, here's an oldie but a goodie—Black Sabbath's "Sweet Leaf!"
