A/N: This is my first time writing stories on here, so I have no idea how this is going to turn out. I'm a HUGE Snily shipper(:
Severus Snape was never one to keep anyone waiting. He was always perfectly on time to everything, always such a reliable man. He always had so much on his mind. Lily, her arrogant husband, Harry, everyone. Lily and James were perfectly happy with their one year old son, Harry Potter. He was their pride and joy. And they promised they'd be with him forever. Severus, of course, was completely heartbroken and, in his agony, joined the Death Eaters. He could still remember the night Lily had excitedly broken the news to him that she and James were to be married.
*FLASHBACK*
Severus had been sitting in his office, calmly brewing potions, when a jet-black owl flew in the window, clutching a letter in it's talons. It flew directly over to him and he stared at it questioningly. The owl simply dropped the note onto his lap and flew away, a long screech echoing from it's beak. He opened it tentatively. It was from none other than Lily Evans, his best friend. "Come meet me. It's an emergency." He crumbled the letter up and immediately apparated to the outside of James and Lily's house in Godric's Hollow. Their yard was always so neat. Flowers lined up in neat rows, fresh green grass, an orange and white cat running around in the grass...
"Hey." A voice from behind Severus caused him to jump, startled. He whirled around, finding himself face-to-face with Lily. "Lily..." Was all he could say. He hadn't seen Lily since their graduation. Even though it was dark outside, he could see Lily's face glowing in happiness and excitement. Her dark red hair fell over her shoulders, and her green eyes were brighter than ever. Clearly something good had happened to her. Her voice interrupted his thoughts and- as much as he didn't want to admit it- admiration of Lily's beauty. "Severus, James and I... We're getting married!" She whispered excitedly. Severus almost dropped his wand. "W-what?" He asked, startled. Even though it was cold outside, he could feel his face burning. "You heard me, didn't you?" Her face fell slightly; she had expected him to be just as joyful as her. Severus clenched his fists. "Yes. I heard you." He said coldly. Lily blinked in surprise. "Well... aren't you excited for us?" Severus couldn't believe she had just asked that. He wanted to scream "No! No I'm not excited for you! I don't want you to marry James! I want you to marry ME!" But he didn't. He didn't say a word. Well, not for the first ten seconds, anyways. "Lily, how could you do this?" Severus asked. He realized this was the wrong to say about a second later. "How could I do what? Marry the man I love?!" She shouted. "Lily, I-" he started, but she cut him off. "You've changed so much." He said, suddenly feeling close to tears. All the memories suddenly flooded back to him, and he felt nostalgic. Severus and Lily playing out in the rain, tasting raindrops with their tongues. Chasing each other around in the park, throwing themselves down on a soft patch of grass when they got tired. Holding hands. Walking down the trails, autumn leaves falling down around them. "I've changed?! I've changed?!" She said, her eyes getting wider with anger. "You're the one that's changed, Severus! You changed completely when you joined the Death Eaters!" Her voice cracked, but she kept talking. "You've changed into a completely different person, Severus. And that hurts a lot." Tears were falling down her cheeks, but she didn't bother to wipe them away. Severus looked down in shame. "I love you, Lily. I always have, and I always will." He breathed. Lily shook her head. "It's too late for that, Severus. James and I are in love." said Lily. Her voice sounded slightly more cheerful when she said the last part. Severus bit the inside of his cheeks so hard he tasted blood. "You're.. You're really getting married?" He had a hard time believing this. "Yes, I'm really getting married." She replied indignantly, as if he had just insulted her. Severus couldn't look at her. He stared at the ground. "It's too late to tell me you love me, Sev." She said quietly, and she turned on her heel and hurried into the house. Severus heard the door shut and he put his wand back in his robes pocket. Tears were already staining his cheeks. He apparated back to his house and curled up on the couch, missing the kind of friends him and Lily used to be.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
So, the first time he was late for one of his most important Death Eater meetings with the Dark Lord, naturally he was suspected by the Death Eaters- and by the Dark Lord. He stepped down the stone stairs into the always ice-cold room that was known as the Meeting Room.
"Severus." Voldemort hissed. "You've come." Severus nodded and silently took his seat, placing his hands on the table in front of him and staring at the Dark Lord. The rest of the meeting was just like the others: talk about killing off all the Muggles and Mudbloods. Severus wished he hadn't chosen this path. He wanted Lily all to himself. He didn't want to think about James kissing her, hugging her, whispering gently things in her ear. He just wanted to give up. He was done. There was no reason to live anymore. Suddenly he heard a knock on his front door. He groaned, not wanting to get up. He staggered towards the front door and opened it. Much to his shock, Lily was standing in front of him. They hadn't spoken since Lily revealed that she was getting married. Severus crossed his arms and fixed her with an icy glare. It was snowing hard outside, and Lily's hair was coated in white snowflakes. She was shivering, although Severus could tell she was trying not to. "Sev? C-c-could I c-come in?" Her teeth were chattering, causing her to stutter. "You know I wouldn't leave you out in the cold." said Severus, taking her arm and leading her into the warm house. She sighed in relief and sat down on the couch. Her hair was wet, due to the melted snow. Severus muttered a drying spell and her hair was instantly dry. She gave him a grateful smile and crossed her arms. "Sev, we need to talk." Severus nodded. "I know." She sighed heavily. "Severus, I know we haven't spoken in months, and I know you're probably angry with me, and I know I'm a terrible friend." Severus shook his head vigorously. "I'm not angry with you. But you have every right to be angry with me. And I don't think you're terrible. You're my best friend." He said soothingly. All of a sudden, Lily reached out and grabbed his hands, rubbing them with her fingers. Severus was surprised at her sudden display of affection, but of course, he didn't mind. "Severus, I'm sorry, okay? That's what I came here to tell you. I just had to make sure you knew." Lily burst out, wiping a tear from her cheek. She got up, intending on walking away in humiliation, but Severus grabbed her arm, stopping her. "Don't apologize! I'm the one that has something to apologize for. This is all my fault. My fault our friendship is ruined." Severus watched her carefully. Her ordinarily bright green eyes were now dim and sad. "I miss you." Severus said, looking directly in her eyes. "I know. I miss you, too. But... there's just no room in my life for a Death Eater, and anyways, James would go insane if he found out I was still talking to you." Lily said, taking a deep breath. Those words stabbed at Severus' heart. There was no room in her life for him?
"I love you!" Severus burst out suddenly, then wished he hadn't. Lily had enough things on her mind right now, she surely didn't need to worry about two people loving her at the same time. She had James, and she didn't need Severus. Well, that's what she thought. "Severus, we've already been through this." She sighed, exhausted. "I love James. My love for you is that of a friend, not a lover." Severus could practically hear his heart shattering. Lily stretched out on the velvet couch and laid her head down on her hands. "Severus, I'm sorry." Lily knew how much she was hurting him, but really, what could she do? Lily couldn't choose who she fell in love with, and Severus knew that. He knew it, but he didn't understand it. Every night, Severus laid down on his bed with the thought "Why can't she just love me? What does she see in Potter?" But he could never find an answer for that question, because there was no explanation for it. She wasn't his. She never would be. Until the day James Potter fell in love with someone else.
A/N: This is not the end of the story! I can't stand writing one-shots, although I do some of the time. . I will update soon, but for now there's only an intro. :)
