trouble

"Author's note": This is my first fanfic ever, so please be kind. I don't know for sure why I wrote it and posted it as well. Maybe the Christmas thing finally got into me. I was `on chocolate' (actually I was surrounded by it) while I wrote this little something...

Feel free to e-mail me.

Setting is where you'd like to have it

Disclaimers: They belong to Paramount, of course. I wouldn't want them anyway. I do have much more fun with them the way there are...

"The trouble with kisses"(December 1999)

"Okay, that's it. You'll have to use another program or take an hologram as your opponent. I withdraw from my offer in order to stay alive." Chakotay laid grinning on his back on the floor and starred into her sparkling eyes. He got a few bruises from her and frankly he felt like her personal sandbag. Just taking all the hits -or better assaults- and he would be damned to give anything out in return. There was a max in what he could take.

"When I said `Let everything out´, I didn't mean it's your chance to get rid of me." He looked up at an angry but fragile looking Kathryn Janeway. At least he saw a small smile creeping up her face. It hadn't reached her eyes yet, though. It sure didn't make him feel good to see her like that. Something was bothering her and he prayed for the day she would come to him with anything -and he meant just anything- on her mind. But they hadn't reached the day so far. It hurt him even more that he couldn't take her into his arms and comfort her.

"I told you it wouldn't be nice," She managed to say still standing in front of him. The Bath'leth pointing down. " but you insisted on having it your way." She lend him a hand and he could see that the smile broadened, involving her eyes finally.

"Yeah, your right. But it's a lousy excuse for your intention. Do me a favor and warn me next time. I'll be honored to let you push me out of an airlock."

"There'll be no need for that sacrifice. You just have to keep my caffeine level running high." She replied teasingly while they were on their way to the doors walking next to each other.

"I thought that's what I'm doing right now." Both of them were very aware of the fact that actually tried to reduce her coffee consumption. But she could live with that.

"So, do you think that an additional cup from me every four hours would do?" He received a mischievous glare from her.

"Make it three and you've got yourself a deal."

"I suppose I have to use my own rations?!" What was happening around him? Did he miss something? Just a few minutes ago she seemed ready `to kill´ him and now she was teasing him?! She obviously hit him more than he must have realized.

"I knew I had a reason to make you my XO. You can read my mind. Computer, delete program. "An `acknowledged´ was the answer. Everything disappeared and the doors were opening when she suddenly stopped in front of him.

"Chakotay, believe it or not but it helped me and you can stop to worry about me now." He still needed to convinced more. She could tell with only one look into his eyes. Damn it, he was the only one she knew who couldn't be fooled by her.

"Kathryn it doesn't work." He grabbed her arm. "I know that-"

He never finished his sentence. It happened so fast that he hadn't seen Kathryn's other hand which pulled his head down to hers. She stunned him even more when she placed a quick kiss on his lips. Then she turned and left without saying anything.

It was difficult for Chakotay to get his mind back on track. He was under the impression that Kathryn Janeway had kissed him. He was tempted to go to sickbay and ask the doctor to run a test on him. Then the memory came back to him. Her face, the expression in her eyes, her warm breath on his skin, the sweet taste of her lips when they met in a gentle but too short kiss. Why couldn't it have last forever? Maybe next time. There had to be a next time and maybe they had just taken the first step...

When he stepped off the holodeck no one on the entire ship could match his smile.

******

Kathryn on her part had a hard time not to bounce the way back to her quarters. She gave every passing crewmember the biggest grin she had in store. What the heck was she doing and what the hell had she done?

She punched her code into the panel next to her door and stepped over the threshold the moment they opened.

She felt like a teenager after the first kiss. She danced hummingly into her bathroom to take a shower. But it had lost its magic effect on her. Her mind was still preoccupied with the kiss she had shared a few minutes ago. She turned to face herself in the mirror. "Of all the things you could have done, you decided to kiss him?!" She leaned closer to the mirror. "And on top of it, you even enjoyed it!!" A blushed face, eyes filled with excitement and pleasure and a wicket grin starred back at her. "Okay, admit it. Your in deep trouble now. And does it help to know what it feels like?" The head in the mirror gave her a nod. "Yeah, your right."

She went into her bedroom to grab something to wear. Then she left heading towards mess hall. The smile never left her face.

*******

Chakotay entered his quarters and found himself in front of the replicator when he realized that he had to save rations from now on. He would do anything for her even if it meant he had to eat some of Neelix' creations. He wasn't sure whether she was aware of that.

Which meant he had another date with Neelix today. But why should he suffer alone? He would change it pick her up for dinner. And he wouldn't take `no´ for an answer.

He had no luck. He tried it five times before he asked.

"Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

"Captain Janeway is in the mess hall."

He wasn't prepared for that answer. In her ready room or astrometic lab, yes. In mess hall, no. She had surprised him twice within an hour. Something was positively wrong with her. If her behavior didn't change he would drag her into sickbay. His eyes sparkled with amusement.

******

Upon entering mess hall Kathryn almost instantly spotted a wavering B'Elanna Torris. She crossed the room and sat down.

"Hi, B'Elanna. Where's your better half?" Kathryn loved to tease the younger women about her relationship with Tom Paris whenever she got the chance.

The women enjoyed the familiarity they'd developed over the time.

"He will join me in a few minutes. Where's yours?" B'Elanna always tried to make Kathryn confess her feelings for a certain commander. She knew that her commanding officers belonged together. She and the rest of the crew.

"He is... will you stop that?" The glare she gave her opposite couldn't do anything to her smile. "He is not my ´better half´ as you perfectly know." *At least not yet* she finished the sentence in her mind.

"Do I?" B'Elanna chuckled. Kathryn's face was just gorgeous. But she knew that the subject made Kathryn uneasy so she changed to something comfortable. "You should try the yellow stuff. It's actually eatable but don't ask me for the name."

"Fine, you'll be responsible for my death." She rose and went to the counter.

********

On his way to meet B'Elanna Tom was joined by Chakotay. It had taken a while but Paris was glad that they were at ease now. He respected Chakotay as commander and he liked him as friend.

"Mess hall?" Chakotay asked.

"Yup." Was the short answer. Paris frowned suspiciously at Chakotay's face. "Okay, who are you? The Chakotay I know doesn't have such a grin on his face. Unless the captain did... ." He trailed off when he saw the older man's face brighten up even more. Bulls eye.

"So, you and the captain..."

"No!" Chakotay tried to silence Paris with one word.

" No what?" He asked innocently. Already counting the rations he'd get out of the betting pool.

"Don't twist your brain and hurt yourself. Nothing happened which would be of importance for you or anyone else so far." If Kathryn had given him an inch he didn't want Paris to spoil it by spreading more rumors over the ship.

"Okay," was all Paris said when they stepped into mess hall.

Paris found B'Elanna first. Of course she was sitting with Kathryn heads stuck together and laughing. Chakotay felt like a jerk following Paris to the table. The women were giggling the moment they arrived. Kathryn had beautiful giggle. Oh boy, was he in trouble!

"Hello ladies. Having fun?" Paris made their presence know. He bent down and gave his girlfriend a kiss.

Neither Kathryn nor Chakotay wanted to disturb that moment so they looked away. But it didn't make it better. Although Chakotay was still standing and Kathryn sitting their eyes locked somehow. None of them had the strength to pull away and they wouldn't have if it wasn't for B'Elanna clearing her throat.

"Er, Chakotay? Would you like to sit down?" B'Elanna managed to say without laughing out loud. It was hard to believe that she was speaking to two adults instead of two teenagers.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Chaktay asked totally dumbfounded.

"Have a seat, or you two'll set everything on fire." Paris said bluntly for which he earned a slap from B'Elanna.

"Ah, of course," he sat down trying not to look at the woman next to him. "And thanks for the warning." he added slightly sarcastic. It turned out to be a ridiculous situation. The younger couple starred at the older one. The older one couple starred in unison at the floor trying to gaze at each other without getting caught by anyone.

Paris and B'Elanna started to laugh simultaneously at their commanding officers.

"Stop it, you two are killing us."

"I wish." Chakotay answered with a challenging look at them. Kathryn's curious eyes joining him. Embarrassment written all over their faces.

"Then stop dancing around each other and feeling guilty of the love you obviously feel for each other." B'Elanna said still struggling to get the laugh under control.

"She's right. Everyone knows but you two prefer to pretend not to know." Paris wanted to help his love. They'd go to brig as a couple for Janeway was definitely

not pleased with them.

The captain was first to get her voice back. "Could you please say it out louder? I think the alpha quadrant didn't hear it by now!" She hissed at them.

"No, but they will." Paris replied. He had his risky day and could see the airlock with his name on it.

"Not from you if you keep going on like that." Chakotay said leaning over the table. B'Elanna tried to save what was left. She didn't want to make her friends angry at them.

"Ugh, come on, helmboy. Let's go. We have to go back to my quarters before we meet Harry on the holodeck." She looked at the two angry looking people in front of her. "Why don't you two come along for an innocent game of pool?" Eyes were shifted towards her which make her feel very uncomfortable. Paris definitely stepped over the line this time. She rose taking Paris with her. They almost ran out of the doors.

*******

The twosome at the table sat in awkward silence for another while when Chakotay heard a soft giggle. It turned into a hearty laugh the moment he faced her.

"Kathryn, tell me what do you think is so funny? You looked like you wanted to sweep the floor with him and now your laughing? Please, throw me a bone. I just don't get it anymore." His voice sounded almost pleading.

"I just...it's just..." She couldn't help it. Paris was right. Whether she liked it or not. She definitely didn't like the part of Paris being right. But they were behaving like teenagers still wet behind their ears. She finally managed to gain some control over her voice.

"It's just that Paris and obviously the rest of our crew are right about us. Don't you think?"

"Right about what? I'm not sure about the direction this conversation is taking." Chakotay's eyes found hers and she could see the uncertainty in them. Now or never. She took a deep breath before she continued her voice barely to hear.

"About our feelings for each other. I was such a fool to deny it so long. I'm sick of it and I don't want to pretend anything else anymore." She didn't look at him. She wasn't sure of what she would see in his eyes.

Did she just say she loved him? This day was becoming one of his favorites.

"Kathryn." Was all he could force his voice to say. He tipped her face up to him. She seemed so vulnerable to him. He took another try.

"Kathryn, I love you, too. Always have. Do you think it would be appropriate to kiss you in the middle of mess hall?" The corners of her mouth twitched slightly.

"I take that as a yes." His hands cupped her face gently and he pulled her into a kiss. It started featherlight but soon passion took over. Chakotay's arms moved down to her waist while her arms moved around his neck. Her fingers playing with his hair. Little moans of pleasure were audible... not only to them.

They came back to reality with a cheering crew and someone advising them to get a room. Both complied with pleasure and flushed faces. Maybe Tom Paris had some more days to live with additional rations...

*** The End ***