Let's face it: nowhere is safe anymore. Every city, province, country- they're all about sin. Drugs and violence have destroyed lives, eight - year - olds are having sex, and pornography and liberal corruption run rampant. It's not just America. It's Orre too.

That's right, even the "Pokémon World" is infected with the lowest of scum. Sunday morning isn't the Sabbath day anymore. It's hangover day. And nobody really cares about Pokémon anymore, except for those few everybody knows about, like Drew and May and Ash. They'd rather beat them for the entertainment. Team Rocket isn't the evil organization it once was. It's like a church group. Trust me, it's not all rainbows, flowers, and good versus evil like we all want you to think. I'm not playing that game. The cover's off, and deep down we're no better than any of you.

I'm different. I haven't been scarred by the liberal corruption, I don't use meth, and I don't "do it." I'm better than that. I don't need any of that, and I don't need any one either. I just need me, my dark makeup, and my Umbreon.

So, as you might imagine, I travel the world, walking day in and day out, just going forward and staying far away from all of that evil. Just traveling anywhere I can go to get away from it. Climbing mountains, crossing rivers, infiltrating the occasional Phobos base- just the usual. Considering the circumstances, a colossal adventure every once-in-a-while would seem inevitable, wouldn't it?