Shadic: Oh boy, another collaboration. But this time I had the idea. So huzzah for creativity.
Fire: Why did I agree to do this?
Shadic: Because we have many terrible puns ready.
Fire: And many, many more people that will either laugh their butts off or groan at this XD!
Shadic: So this is going to be stand-up comedy, b/c the gore section is another story, literally. -ba dum tuss-
Fire: First a perverted arm now stand-up comedy. What's next? The Elgang watch Teletubbies?
Shadic: Hmmm, I'll write that down. Anyways, how is this going to work, you may ask. Well, we are doing each CLASS, and there will be two versions, clean and dirty. Fire and I will switch off, but for this one, I'll take Clean, and Fire gets dirty (not that kind of way mind you).
Fire: The class for this Chapter is Lord Knight, in case you didn't bother to read the Chapter Title.
Shadic: Now that all of that is established, let's begin!
Characters:
Clean Lord Knight - Vital Knight
Dirty Lord Knight - Destructive Knight
Aisha - Elemental Master
Rena - Grand Archer
Raven - Blade Master
Eve - Code Nemesis
Chung - Iron Paladin
Ara - Sakra Devanam
Elsa - Saber Knight
Lord Knight's Act
"Hello? Is this thing turned on?" The Lord Knight cloaked with the aura of Vitality pondered as he tapped his microphones in the head a couple times.
"Heh, turned on. You were hoping for "it" to finally power up on it's own?" One of the bystanders, another Knight except bathed in a red aura of Destruction snicked, leading to the groaning of his counterpart upstage.
"Damn you, Destructive Knight. Who signed me up for this thing anyways, cause it sure as hell wasn't me or you" The Vital Knight responded to Destructive Knight's interesting remark.
"Blame Rena, she's the one who wanted us to do this for the people here in Ruben in order to bond with each other. Believe me I'd much prefer to "bond" with Aisha." Destructive winked at the Elemental Master next to him, causing the latter to shrug away his dirty comment.
"Oh really Destructive Knight? Well, wait, what are we doing again?" His eyes met the hundreds of audience members as sweat dripping off of his face.
"You're really clueless aren't you?" Destructive smacked his head with his palm. "We're doing stand-up comedy remember? I can't believe I actually agreed to let you go first." He stretched. "What do you want to do? Force everyone to leave at the first joke?"
"Okay, I know I'm bad, but am I really THAT bad? Whatever, guess it's time to make the obligatory joke about our most powerful move, Armageddon Blade." He smirked over to the DK and heard the audience laughing.
"Dirty minds think alike my friend. Now have at you so the rest of us can have a shot to actually make these guys laugh."
"Ugh, sometimes you're such a bag of douche. Hell, you can be two of 'em. Anyways. So many jokes are made about Arma Blade that it's like the 'That's what she said' jokes. Let me clear this up right now. If I was in bed with someone. I wouldn't shout ARMAGEDDON BLADE as soon as I got an erection. God damn, even Destructive wouldn't do that!"
"I totally would, isn't that right Eve?" He received a slap from the flustered stoic. "Okay y'know what I can't take this anymore!" Destructive stood up from his seat so abruptly it caused a sudden silence to fall upon the room. Casually removing Aisha from his grip, he walked on stage next to a confused Vital and snatched the microphone. "Maybe it's about time I finally get these people laughing."
"Are you implementing that I'm not funny?! They just laughed at my joke!" Vital hissed back at the remark.
"Yeah, a joke so overused it can be squeezed over and over like a lemon. The only difference is that lemons are tasty and the joke was just...ugh." Destructive smirked at Vital and cleared his throat. "Now where was I? Oh yes stand-up comedy. What's that other move we all love to hate, ah yes Rolling Smash. I can't believe I'm going back to the bed scenario, but we all toss and turn around in our beds right? Some more so than others, am I right? Anyway after we roll around a bit, a few of us might go "Smashing" with our little rods. Isn't that right Vital?"
"Wait, what? Smashing with rods? Destructive, you make no sense. That was a terrible joke."
"What are you talking about? Can't you go hear them laughing? Or are they all just thinking of how small a rod you have Vital." Destructive smiled even more.
"Oh I see what you mean. And you know what Destructive. Think a little. How would they all know how big my rod is?" Vital let out a smirk as the audience gasped.
"That's why they all laugh at how weak your Armor Break is Vital. Try to learn to power through your enemies like I do, that's why I get all the ladies!" Destructive's comeback gathered even more gasps and a few laughs.
"At least I have a Triple Geyser instead of your pathetic Flame Geyser!" Vital stuck out his tongue and made a 'Nyeh' noise aimed at Destructive.
"And like I said, it's better to fully please one girl with my one Geyser than disappoint three girls when you try it." Destructive countered.
"I see you've mastered your Counterattack. And please, my Unlimited Blade works wonders against your Assault Slash" Vital fought back.
"So no breaks huh? Bet those girls were mighty thirsty. It's a good thing they got a taste of my Spiral Blast! Isn't that right Aisha!" Destructive yelled across the room, dodging a fast-paced fireball from the aforementioned Elemental Master.
"B-BAKA! T-THEY DIDN'T N-NEED TO KNOW THAT!" The flustered tsundere shouted.
"Ohoho, what's this I hear? Aisha and Destructive? Hot damn. Well you heard it here first, and yes, I'm doing this just to piss Aisha off!" Vital smiled at the audience and they laughed. "HA! I MADE THEM LAUGH! WHAT NOW?!" Vital victoriously screeched.
"Yeah teasing Aisha is indeed hilarious, especially at how she admires my Strong Body and how much pain we can suppress during our fun times." The audience, especially Raven and Chung, laughed even harder. Destructive shut Vital's traps and smirked viciously, almost cocky.
"Oh hold on, my phone's ringing." He pulled out his El-phone and answered the call. "Hello? Vital Lord Knight speaking."
"ELSWORD! WHERE ARE YOU?!" He sighed heavily and let out a deep breath.
"I'm giving a comedian act at William's Bar, why?"
"GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW! THERE IS A SPIDER IN MY CLOSET AND I CAN'T USE MY SWORD INDOORS!"
"B-but sis, I'm-"
"NO EXCUSES!" Vital hung up and turned to Destructive.
"Oh so the only thing you do is your Sis huh Vital? I knew you were a Sis-con but not at this level." The room cannot contain the amount of laughter generated in it.
"Um, Destructive, I hate to burst your bubble, but she's your sister too..." The room burst even more.
"...So my siblings are seeing each other behind my back huh? At least I still have Aisha. She can take my Sandstorm of mayo and get past the blindness the white sticky stuff did to her, blinding her eyes and all."
"Y...YO...YOU!" Aisha gripped her wooden staff pretty tight (which in turn gave Raven and Chung massive hard ons) and charged up mana, storming towards the Destructive Knight with murderous intent. The audience at this rate can't decide whether to laugh themselves unconscious or enjoy the show.
"THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!" The Dirty Knight glowing in a red aura humorously bid farewell to his customers and dashed away, the Elemental Master chasing right after him hurtling fireballs and lightning bolts. And Vital scramming away from the scene to his enraged sister Elsa, who apparently was afraid of spiders.
"Well, Rena, so much for bonding, eh?"
Shadic: So um, this is actually Fire and I competing with each other (He totally won) but yeah, anything to add Fire?
Fire: Well I can't believe I actually went through with this idea. I mean we literally made up the jokes as we went. Now all you people who want Power Shard and Red Stained can be quiet for (hopefully sooner) another week with this little thing!
