I own nothing. I am a poor college student, as one could probably tell from reading this.
Just Thinking Of You
Momo trudged up the fifth flight of stairs and breathed a huge sigh of relief as she reached her floor.
She was beat, but there was no time for rest. She just got off a shift at the restaurant where she worked, but she had three papers she needed to finish for class tomorrow. If she hurried, she could get all of them written up in time for her to wake up and leave early so she could go type them out.
She stifled a yawn as she made her way down the hall, lifting her bag a little higher on her shoulder. She had so much class work lately that she had been taking it to work to study on break. On the days she worked that was.
Business was slow for almost everyone right now. It worried her a lot, since she was dangerously close to not making rent this month, and that wasn't including the payments she was going to have on her student loans. She wasn't sure how she was going to make it at this rate.
Still, the only thing she could do was keep up on her classes and try to work as often as she could. She had tried to find an additional job or two, but nobody was hiring either. She was lucky she had the one.
Things would get better eventually. At least that's what she hoped. She had to tell herself that or else she was afraid she might quit. She missed Toshiro and Gram.
A puzzled look came to her face as she reached her door. A package sat outside, and as she inspected it, she found no return address. She unlocked her door and set her book bag down before going out to get it.
It was slightly heavy for a smaller box, and she huffed as she carried it to the card table set up in her kitchen area. She wondered who it was from. She didn't know many people here.
Shrugging, she went to the other side of the room to dig out some non-work clothes, deciding to investigate later. At least it hadn't been a late rent notice.
By the time she emerged from the bathroom, she had almost gotten her second wind. She knew she should start on her papers right away, but there were some other things to take care of first. Today was Friday, which meant pay day. That meant setting money aside. She couldn't go to school if she didn't have a place to stay. It was really a shame that her school didn't have a dorm.
She collected her monthly bills from the neat pile on the corner of the counter and ignored the package as she sat down at the table. She spent a few minutes dividing her check and frowned at the results. She was even closer this month than usual. If she put her entire check into the bank, she would have just enough to make rent. That also meant no groceries for the week because she couldn't put off getting a few things one of her classes required any longer.
She hated having to pick between the two. It wasn't good to short herself, but as long as she paid the rent she thought she'd be okay. She could go without food for a little while. That wasn't such a big deal. She couldn't slight her studies though. That was the whole reason she was down here. If she didn't put that first, everything would be for nothing.
She sighed. Sometimes it was just hard.
Her studio apartment was small, but at least she had it. She didn't have much to go in it, just her card table, her bed, and a desk she did schoolwork on, but they were hers. She sort of wished rent for the place didn't include utilities and stuff. She thought she could get by cheaper if they were separate, seeing how she didn't use much anyway. She also didn't like that it was in the crummier part of town. It was farther from her school than work, and she lost a lot of time traveling that she could be using to study, or on the days she had work and class on the same day, working longer.
She was used to difficult though. She had come from a town far enough away from the city to be virtually nonexistent, and getting into the school had been tough. She had almost not made it because of her financial status. She just barely qualified for enough loans to cover it. She still didn't know how she was going to pay them back. It wasn't likely that she was going to have a very high paying job six months after she graduated.
Moving had been a challenge too. Even if she didn't have much, it was still farther away. Gram couldn't lift so much, so Toshiro had helped her move mostly.
She sighed again. Those things weren't even the worst part. The worst part was the feeling of being utterly alone. She had almost cried as she watched them drive away the first time, knowing that she was on her own and had to fend for herself.
She was an orphan, so Toshiro and Gram were the only family she had. Toshiro was an orphan too. Gram had taken them in when they were young and raised them herself, even though she was older. She told Momo that she couldn't stand children not having any place to go.
Thinking of them brought that loneliness back to her. She had always known things would be hard, she just never anticipated how much. She missed being around people she knew, and she missed Toshiro most of all.
They were two years apart in age. The plan was for them to room together as soon as he graduated from high school. This year he would be a senior, and then he'd be able to go to college here too. She had no doubt that he could get into any school he wanted. He was a genius.
It surprised her when he said he was looking at a few in the area she was in now. Momo didn't want him to think that he had to go where she was, but he insisted. He was the one that came up with the idea to live together. The thought made her smile. It kept her going. Things were always easier when he was around.
He was everything. It was as simple as that. That hadn't changed since they were growing up. If anything, it became more true.
She gazed around the room lost in thought until her eyes drifted over the package again. She supposed she might as well open it now. Her papers would still be there when she was done.
She dug out a utility knife from a kitchen drawer and went back to her table. Duct tape was a pain to get through, and this box was wrapped good in it. She remembered how Toshiro, Gram, and her would do that to each other during the holidays. It was more fun trying to open the boxes than what was actually inside them. The memory made her smile.
She went to work, being careful not to cut anything that could be inside. Boxes at the restaurant had warnings like that when an order came in. It said not to cut, but they did it anyway. How else was someone supposed to get the box open?
She peeled the tape off, balled it up, and set it to the side, taking a look at the contents. There was a lone note on the top, and she paused to read it. "Chin up" was all it said, but she would know that handwriting anywhere. Even if it was short, Gram's meaning was clear.
Momo felt her eyes begin to water as she discovered the rest of the box contents. Most of it was food, and because of her recent dilemma, she couldn't be happier. A lot of it was easy food that would didn't want to eat too much of, like ramen, but Momo didn't care. Gram was still looking out for her in the ways she could. It made her feel not so alone.
There were two photos along the side of the box too, and she lifted them carefully. One was of the three of them at Gram's birthday. She could still remember the taste of the cake. The other was just her and Toshiro, caught with watermelon all over their faces.
A tear did fall from her eye this time. She could remember that day, when the sun shone and the air was warm. Toshiro spit seeds at her, and then they spent the night laying on a blanket and looking at the stars. It was the last summer before she moved away.
She set them aside and covered her face in her hands as she sat. She missed them so much.
There were days when she had horrible visions of herself failing everything she tried to do. She imagined herself fading away, eventually not calling them anymore, not making any new friends, and generally just disappearing from everyone's life because she couldn't amount to anything. Those days she felt alone, and it was hard to keep going.
A soft knock on the door made her look up. She wasn't expecting company.
She went to the door and looked out the viewer, only to grin broadly and open the door as fast as she could. Toshiro had a rare smile on his face, and Momo didn't miss it as she launched herself at him.
"Shiro!"
She was laughing, or maybe crying, and she couldn't tell if he was laughing too. It had just been so long, and she missed him so much. All she cared was that he was here.
She didn't move for a few minutes, even though they were still standing in the doorway. It had been so long that she almost forgot what he felt like. She wanted to memorize it. Since he wasn't complaining, she thought that he didn't mind. Eventually they did make it in, and since her furniture was spare, they took a seat at the table in the kitchen area. Luckily she had two chairs.
Him being here was like taking her first lungful of breath after suffocating for so long. Her eyes soaked up every detail about him, confirming things she remembered and discovering the changes. She didn't want to ever forget. His image would be one of the things that kept her going.
They didn't say anything for a while, but Momo didn't mind. It wasn't uncomfortable at all. It felt more normal than anything else had in the last year. It was enough just seeing him there, and Toshiro had never been one for an excess of talking anyway.
He was looking through the box of stuff scattered across the table, picking up the note and the pictures. "I guess Gram did catch on after all."
"Huh?" she questioned.
He took a minute to smile at the watermelon picture before looking at her. The smile dimmed a little bit, and he handed the note to her. "She could tell you were a little depressed. I wasn't sure if she could at first, and I didn't say anything. I knew you didn't want her to worry."
That was true. Momo figured she couldn't fool Toshiro, but she didn't want to worry Gram anymore than she had to. She had other problems to worry about without her adding to them. It still gave her a warm feeling that they both knew her anyway. She was thankful for family that knew her that well. They knew that even if she said everything was fine, they weren't. They also knew that she was too proud to say so anyway. She was going to call home as soon as she could.
She didn't get to call often. Normally she had to do it in-between work and class at a booth. She couldn't afford a phone. So because she didn't get to do it often, she tried to sound as bubbly as she could.
Momo didn't answer for a bit, just staring at the note. She was shaken out of her inner thoughts when Toshiro reached across the table and put one of his hands over hers.
"Are you alright?"
She knew that he didn't just mean right now. She had to smile at that.
"I think I will be. It's just…hard, I guess. Harder than I thought it would be." She shrugged.
"Just one year." She nodded at him and watched as he got up to give her a hug. Just one more year and things would be better.
He kissed her gently on the forehead, and she treasured the moment. "You can wait for me for that long, right?" She nodded again and leaned back into the hug.
She would wait forever if she had to, as long as she had the promise of what was to come.
It still amazed her that Gram treated them like her grandchildren even if they really weren't. She didn't totally understand why Toshiro had always looked out for her and loved her. One thing she did know was that she could keep going as long as they kept doing just as they had. As long as they loved her.
It gave her something to look forward to.
-Fin
Bless grandmothers who aren't even really grandmothers that still send food and treat kids like their own. Dedicated to all current college students, to all former ones, and to all that will be. I'm sure you understand the fic very well. Chin up, people. Things will get better eventually.
