Chapter 1- My Cannons Will Pierce the Heavens!

…Where do I begin? Not sure yet… and why write this, some people might ask? Well, why not? Here's my story…. so far. And this may be a little unnecessary since I've got a blog on Rumbler, but most of you probably don't see it. Maybe with this I'll get more followers. I guess I should start from the beginning, like any normal writer. My name is Britney Levi, and I'm 16 years old. My mother named me Britney after this pop singer lady back from like when she was young, which is dinosaur age, probably. Wait, don't leave yet! I didn't even start my tale yet! …Tale, what a cliché word. Anyways, I'm a Pokemon Trainer, and I'm a good one at that. But let me go back to when I first began my… strange journey.


I woke up at 12PM. I had really hoped that someone came into my room and shut off the alarm clock, otherwise it would've been beeping for six hours. I'm never going to stay up until five in the morning again on Rumbler, I thought. Though I don't think that should really matter, since it's the middle of the summer, but it still feels nice getting up at the right time. Like I feel obligated to wake up before it's like a thousand degrees outside. And for those who don't know, Rumbler is a blogging website, and it's quite addictive and has helped me lose so many more hours of sleep than I had really intended. …to be honest, it's become quite a bit of a problem. My mom and dad yell at me a lot for waking up late. I feel guilty about the whole thing, but that website is so addicting. Along with a lot of other websites I check into. And webcomics I read. And music I download. And anime I watch. Okay. Maybe I was too addicted to the Internet in general.

I get out of bed, get dressed in my usual getup- some casual fitting t-shirts and capris with some awesome looking sandals. A bowtie in my blonde puffy hair oughta add that extra little girly factor to make everything nice. I sit back on the bed and flip on the TV in my room. I guess I had left it on the news channel- our most recent regional Pokemon Champion was getting interviewed. They say her name was… what was her actual name? I forgot, but she goes under the alias "Takoto". The paparazzi were bombarding her with intrusive questions and obnoxious voices, but she seemed to be handling it quite fine. I do remember her addressing one question over the rest.

"Takoto! Takoto- what advice do you have to give to all of the aspiring Pokemon Trainers out there who want to become Champion like you did?"

"Hmmm… well, I guess some advice I could give them is to never give up, even when life hits you rough. As long as you believe in yourself, you can go far."

"What are your plans for now? Do you want to take up the duties of Champion?"

"My plans for afterwards-"

Whatever.

It's not like I'd become a Pokemon Trainer anytime soon. Crap like that didn't matter.

As I was heading downstairs, I freeze in place. My parents were in the living room, and they were talking about me again. Instant pang of guilt surged through me. I truly hated it when they talked about me behind my back. But I guess they just do that because they're concerned. …nah. But before I continue down the steps and prepare myself to ignore them as best as I could, my eyes almost bulged out of my head in surprise. What the hell was Professor Oak doing in my house? He looked at me for a split second with that famous hot guy stare that nobody seems to find attractive for some reason, and he told my parents his respective goodbyes and made his way out the front door. Then I immediately sat down on the couch across from them and stared at my parents with a discerning scowl upon my face. I know they're up to something. "What was Professor Blue Oak doing in our house just now?" I spat at them, a little more than cranky.

"Britney, dear, your father and I have been talking. We… we think that you're too attached to that computer of yours. And taking it away doesn't help, anyways. You just don't go out and hang out with your friends or meet new people enough anymore," Mom started.

I sighed, annoyed. "That's not true, Mom. You know and I both know well that last Thursday I hung out with Trish-"

"But that was the first time in two and a half months!" Mom breathed exasperatedly. "You're always locked in your room… We think you're becoming antisocial and we're just afraid for you, honey."

"Afraid of what?"

Mom didn't say anything. Ha. That's what I thought-

"We're both afraid that you won't be able to live a life that you really want," she answered. I stopped, confused about her statement. I let her continue. "We want you to live a happy and exciting life, Britney. And we want you to try new things. And you can't do that if you shut the door at every given opportunity."

I wasn't sure whether that was a metaphorical or literal statement.

"That's why we arranged an appointment for you with Professor Oak. We thought that was a nice way for you to get out and see the world and be happier." Dad added.

"Well you thought wrong." I hissed at them. Why the hell would I want to be a Pokemon Trainer? That just screams ten thousand different kinds of problems and inconveniences. I'm happy and comfortable enough as I am! I'm fine with staying in high school until I graduate. I don't need sightseeing with a bunch of wild creatures that could either decapitate me or set me on fire or bite or peck at me every two minutes! Or maybe even mind control me or curse me or electrocute me or EAT me! I had no idea that my parents were thinking of sending their only child to die off in the wild.

"But we thought you liked Pokemon!"

I snapped at them, "I like Pokemon but that doesn't mean I want to become a Trainer!"

"Well you are still going to go to that appointment at Professor Oak's lab. There's no way you're not going after all of that time and work we spent looking for him. And no buts, that is that." Mom firmly stated. I know better than to argue back when Mom actually starts to become mad at me. I hate them right now.

"Fine." I glared at them as best as I could. If looks could kill, they'd be so dead like six times over already. "So… you're just kicking me out of the house now, just like that?"

"We're not kicking you out!" Dad retorted, "You're just going to go and see Professor Oak in half an hour at his lab."

Sigh. Stupid Professor Oak and his stupid lab and his- wait. Wait a second. Back that up. Did he just say half an hour? At his lab? His lab in Pallet Town? Oh Arceus. "But Dad, we live in Viridian City. There's no way I can meet him in just half an hour. Not unless I haul ass!"

"I know."


They're honestly trying to kill me. I'm thoroughly convinced it's the truth.

I bet that people wouldn't have been staring at me if I had some random monster running alongside with me. The sad thing, that it'd probably be true. But I'm hopping ledges down Route 1 and barreling straight through the tall grass seeing as that's the fastest way to get to Pallet Town. Steady, steady now… don't break your ankle on any of these jumps. Breathe. I hop over another ledge, feet pounding in pain from running in the sandals for so long, and I charge into more tall grass all in a straight line. My leg shoots up a sharp stab of pain, one that's enough to make me trip over. I cry out and look at myself where I find a… what was it called? A Rattata had latched itself onto my ankle like some evil demon leech-sucker from the depths of Hell. I say this because no matter how much I screamed for help or tried to pry its incisors out of my flesh, it just wouldn't budge. Was this thing on steroids? I knew it, I'm gonna die now. I just didn't think it'd literally be thirty minutes after I was sentenced to it by my parents. I kept yelling until….

….until the coolest god damn thing that ever happened in my life so far… happened.

"Where are you?" A male voice called out.

"Ack- Over here! Get this thing off of me!" I call back.

A minute later, where I had expected a man to push the tall grass apart and help me, I instead saw a giant behemoth of a bipedal turtle appear before me, eyes looking upon me. It bended down and tore the rat away from my leg in one swoop. Said creature tumbled over a few feet away. The creature focused only on the Rattata now. Then, GIGANTIC CANNONS emerged out of its shoulders and after a few seconds of charging, blasted the darn thing away to who knows where with water that had the power of a power-washer or a fire hose. It might've gone to the afterlife, because even the tall grass where the Rattata stood wasn't even there anymore.

It was one of the coolest and most destructive things I have ever seen.

I would've happily gotten up and greeted who I recognized as Professor Oak and what he called 'his Blastoise', but it hurt to lean on my right ankle. So his Pokemon carried me over to his lab. Not like it was embarrassing or anything.


"So how exactly did you get yourself into this mess, Miss Britney?"

That's Miss Levi to you, is how I would've responded but I only grunted in response as his helper had wrapped up my injury after injecting me with a hypothermic needle to counteract whatever possible diseases that Rattata could've carried. He waited patiently for me. "I… I ran through the grass."

"You do know that wild Pokemon could attack at any moment just like before, right? They consider it their personal territories."

"I'm sorry. I just found it to be the best way to make to your lab on time." I sighed guiltily.

"It's alright. You're lucky though. Multiple Rattata could have jumped at you at the same time, or Pidgey, or sometimes even Poochyena."

"What is this appointment about, if I may ask? My parents forgot to inform me about that…." I asked.

He simply smiled a charming smile that I should be way too young to even think that it's charming in the first place. I mean, this guy must be in his early 40's or something, and he looks like a movie star! And the pictures of him (and some drawings) on the Internet don't help out my cause either. He told me that he'd be right back, and a couple of minutes later after many sounds of frustrated fumbling through junk, he brought a box over to me. I immediately reached to open it, but his hand went over mine and stopped myself. Ohmigod hot professor is touching me. Must contain my feels in front of him. I put on a poker face but that quickly melted away as he intensely gazed into me.

"What lies in this box could change your life, but only if you allow it to. Are you willing to take this opportunity, Britney?"

I hastily said yes before my mind could tell my body that there was not an engagement ring inside the box. D'oh! Oh god, I screwed up, didn't I? I hope he doesn't see my blushing. I hope my celebrity crush doesn't see my blushing. What's wrong with me…. He smiled, completely oblivious to the inner Me, and opened the box.

There was no engagement ring like I suspected, but instead there were three pokeballs. I blinked. What.

"There are three very rare Pokemon inside these pokeballs. But as the legal law in Kanto states, you can only leave this building with one to claim your own."

I tried ogling the red and white spheres instead of him and his gorgeous looks, but I failed terribly at that. I need a cover up and quick. I coughed, "So which ones are in them? Pikachu or something?" I grabbed the center ball.

"Charmander's in that one. He's Kanto's official Fire-type Starter Pokemon. But he's difficult to train, and you have to watch his tail." Blue stated proudly.

"How do I open it? Like this- Oh Arceus, fire hazard FIRE HAZARD!"

Then with my smooth moves and calm composure and womanly charm, I proceeded to jump around and attempt to stomp out the fire on Charmander's tail, screaming the whole time.


Five minutes of struggle later…

"Okay so maybe Charmander isn't the right one for me."

"Probably not."

Professor Oak held back some laughter and then handed another pokeball to me. With all guards up, I cautiously released this one. A tiny blue ninja turtle came out. I stared at this thing, as it casually greeted the Professor, who talked back to it for some reason. Okay, I had to admit it was pretty darn cute.

Professor Oak held up the creature, which now had the fingerprints of a sexy professor on it. "This is Kanto's Water-type Starter, Squirtle. Pretty cute, huh?"

Yeah, you sure are. Wait, you're talking about Squirtle?

"Well, don't be surprised if it grows up to be gigantic and strong and sprout cannons out of its-"

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. You can't be serious! "Hold on, you're telling me that… that that Pokemon turns into the giant godlike turtle monster that saved me? That if I make this guy battle enough times, he'll turn into a Blastoise?"

"You've pretty much got it down."

There need be no hesitation about any of this. "I want that one. I need it."

"It's yours, then."

If victory music had been playing in the background, I would've jumped in the air in happiness and struck a pose mid-freeze. I have a Pokemon, and it's Squirtle! AKA God-like Rape Machine of all Water Beasts! Wait, did I just say that? Who cares... I've got a Squirtle!

…that means I'm a Trainer, right?

I think it might.

"Am I a Trainer now?" I ask, now hoisting the Squirtle into my arms. It's pretty lightweight.

Prof. Oak responded, "Not just yet. You still need a couple more things before you go off on your adventure. Like a Trainer's license, a Pokedex, and a Pokegear, too." He already had the Pokedex and Pokegear on him. I take the Pokegear but I hold my hand up after that.

"I'll pass on the Dex. I'm not aiming to "catch 'em all". I can just use the Internet to figure out what's what. My phone has good connection." I replied and followed up by showing him my high-tech cell phone. "Plus, I might break it, too. Aren't those things expensive?"

"…yes…" He muttered grumpily, mumbling about shipping expenses under his breath as he walked out of the room. I looked at Squirtle. It eyed me curiously and seemed to label me as friendly. It greeted me in an upbeat tone, "Squirtle!"

"Hi." I respond. What am I supposed to say to it? 'Hi, I just claimed you as my pet for eternity?' But the sad thing is, I'm not even sorry about it. Squirtle here has been blessed by the hands of Professor Blue Oak, and when it grows up, it will have guns for shoulders.

Still epic when I think about it.

The Professor comes back and says to me, "The machine is ready for registration. Ready to have your picture taken?"

Wait, what? Picture? No, I am not ready for a picture! I woke up at 12PM today looking like crap, ran down here like my life depended on it and in casual attire, and I got attacked today! I'm not ready! Oh Arceus, oh Arceus, this is gonna be bad…

We went into the other room where he told me to sit down on this stool and to look into the camera. I smiled, got temporarily blinded and received my Trainer's license. I pocketed it so that I could be mortified later and not any more so in front of him. I smiled sheepishly at him.

Then he asked me out of the blue, "Have you thought of a name for your Pokemon, yet?"

Indeed I have. Squirtle must have the name…. "Raphael!" I beamed at my Ninja Turtle reference.

Prof. Oak blinked at me. "She's female..."

Oh.

Well then.

"Oh… then you'll have to give me some time to think about it." I stuttered. Was I about to name my girl Squirtle Raphael? Really? Well, I guess that also crosses Kamina off the list, too. Or any of my awesome male cartoon names for that matter. Dammit!

"Don't fret about it. You have a lot of time to think about it. You don't need to wait for me." I laughed nervously and then thanked him for everything and told Squirtle to come along now.

"Hold on!" He said, and ran up to me. He gave me what looked a goodie bag, and when I peeked into it, there were more pokeballs, but they were very tiny in comparison to Squirtle's that I held in my hand. "These are five empty pokeballs. When a wild Pokemon looks like it's going to faint, you pelt them with one of those and wait for the pokeball to capture it. There's the chance it may work and become your own Pokemon."

"Y-you pelt them with it?"

Prof. Oak shrugged, "Always worked for me."

I didn't know how to respond to that, but luckily he had more to say. "You're gonna go far, Britney. Your parents told me a bit about you. It's going to be a fun adventure. Take it from me, Kanto's Pokemon Professor and your former Viridian City Gym Leader."

"I wish you were still my leader." I babble out unintelligibly. Oh no, I did not just say that. Oh Arceus, I fangirled out loud. I hate myself!

Prof. Oak laughed out loud though. Thank Mew. "Doesn't everyone?" I laughed with him, too. "Well you better get going now! You can do this, okay?"

"Don't worry, Professor, I won't let you down! My Squirtle's cannons will pierce the heavens!" I shouted loudly as ran with Squirtle to the outskirts of Pallet Town. I have no idea if he got the TTGL reference, but I think I heard him chuckling. I don't know.

Squirtle and I ran together until I stopped to a halt. I forgot, I leaped over the ledges. Now I have to go through all the tall grass, again. But I've got Squirtle with me, right? Just… Squirtle…

This is gonna blow.


Author's Note: Okay, so this is the first fanfiction that I've ever written and completed! I do read a lot of fanfiction but I never really had the urge to write one unless it was like erotic or something lol (and I can draw for that! ;D) And I probably wouldn't even write something like that here anyways, since Fanfiction is taking off rated M fics or something like that. XDDD Well anyways, this is my first time writing on this website, and reviews, comments, and critiques (and a beta helper) are very much appreciated!

But please, be gentle, this is my first time. XDDDDD