Disclaimer: CSI belongs to CBS, Anthony Zuiker, and many other people. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them.

A/n: So, here it is. My post finale fic. I know it 's later than others, but I wanted to finish Knick Knacks first. Which I've done. :P Anyway, this was going to be a oneshot, but I've found there's too much for that, so I've devided it into parts. Please enjoy.


Part 1

As Grissom sat there watching the woman whose hands Sara's life lay in withdraw from reality, his mind riveted on one question. Not why did this woman do this? Not why couldn't we catch her before it came to this? But why didn't he have some feeling that this might happen? That his… his Sara was in danger. Why hadn't he had some niggling at the back of his mind telling him that something was wrong? He'd known that it had gotten personal. When the Miniature Serial Killer had had a miniature delivered right into his office he'd known that he'd become a focus. That the killer was responding to him, yet he hadn't altered his life. He hadn't studied every new person he'd come in contact with. He'd even talked to the killer. Why hadn't he felt he was being watched? He'd stubbornly gone about his life as normal, oblivious to the idea that it could harm him personally.

He'd heard stories of people who, on being about to board an airplane were struck by a feeling of foreboding, and decided to take another flight, or not to fly at all, only to hear later that their original flight had crashed. Why hadn't he had such a feeling? Sensed something was about to happen to the one person in his life he'd give his own life for. If only he'd had a niggling feeling, he'd have kept her with him, out of harms way. And now, now she was out there, somewhere, stuck, and he; he was helpless to help her.

He felt a presence at his side and looked up to find Jim standing there. He face was stoic as usual, but his eyes were filled with emotion. Guilt that he hadn't caught the killer sooner. Sorrow at seeing his friend in pain. They both turned to look at Natalie, who was staring vacantly at the floor, softly singing that damn song. They'd get nothing further from her now. "What are we going to do Jim? How are we going to find her?" He asked, his voice catching.

"Same way we always do, follow the evidence." He put his hand on his friends shoulder. "There's a trail, and we'll find it."


Catherine, Warrick, Nick and Greg sat around the table in the breakroom. They'd wanted to be in the interview room but Grissom had told them that he wanted to do the questioning alone and they didn't feel they could question him. Brass was watching though and would certainly come get them when they found out something.

They'd been sitting there silently, each lost in their own thoughts when Greg suddenly cleared his throat and asked. "So, what do you guys think Grissom meant earlier?"

The other three stared at him mutely. When no one came forward with an answer, Greg elaborated. "When Grissom said he loved Sara. That is what he said isn't it?"

Catherine shook her head. "I don't know if he knew WHAT he was saying."

Nick spoke up. "Naw, naw, come on now. He definitely said love. And it didn't sound like friendship love."

"How long do you think he's loved her?" Greg leaned forward. "I mean did he know before… before this? Before she'd been kidnapped.

Warrick cleared his throat. "Whatever he meant, I don't think it's any of our business, and it certainly shouldn't be our focus." He looked to Catherine for agreement.

She sat silent for a moment, several thoughts crossing her mind. Finally she agreed. "Yes, we have more important things to do."

Nick stood up, pushing his chair back with a crash. "I just can't stand this waiting!"

All eyes turned to him. He began to pace. Suddenly he stilled. "Is this what it was like with me?"

Silently they looked at each other. He'd never broached this subject with them before.

Greg cleared his throat. "It, um, it's very similar. Of course with you we had some kind of information. Some lead, and we knew you were alive. Now, well we don't know anything."

They all sat silent once more. Warrick laid his head on his arms on the table. He couldn't believe this had happened to Sara. Just yesterday they had been laughing together over some joke that Greg had told. When she'd first come to work in Las Vegas he's felt resentful. A major part of that had been rooted in the immense guilt he'd felt over what had happened to Holly, and the irritation he felt that someone outside of their circle would be investigating him, but a deep well of respect had grown from those early days. They'd grown closer not only professionally, but personally. She was like a sister to him. She was the one he'd talked to about his problems with Tina. The steady head he could always rely on. It killed him thinking she might be gone.

Nick paced around the room. This waiting was torture. He remembered vividly how it had felt being buried alive, but now realized that he'd had it easy. His friends and colleagues had had to wait like this. Knowing he was buried alive, but not knowing where he was. He'd give anything just to know that Sara was alive, even if she was buried somewhere. A sudden flash of her smile popped into his head. She was one of his best friends. He didn't know what he would do if he never saw that teasing smile again. He looked up, and his eyes caught on her coffee mug sitting on the counter, ready for the next time she needed a caffeine fix. He sniffed, refusing to cry, refusing to believe she'd never use that mug again.

Catherine rested her head on her palm. What could she do? For the first time ever she didn't know what to do. When Eddy had died, she'd been devastated, but she'd had the case to work on, and Lindsey to keep her busy. She was lost. She may have just lost a dear friend, but she feared another friend had lost something more. She wanted to be there for him, but wasn't sure if he'd let her. Grissom was such a private man. She couldn't help but wonder how long he'd had these feelings for Sara. She remembered how he'd introduced her that first time. 'A friend, someone I trust.' Then that case a few years ago, the nurse that'd been killed in her bathroom, the woman who'd had such a resemblance to Sara. Grissom had taken that case far more personally than he normally would have. And Sara. She'd always been close to Grissom. Closer than the rest of the team. Did she know of these feelings that Grissom had for her? Were they reciprocated? She felt like she'd had her head buried in the sand these last few years. She wanted to tell Sara how much she'd come to mean to her. She looked at her hand resting on the table. She needed something to do.

Greg tapped his fingers on the table, his knee bouncing so much that the table shook. His mind so full of thoughts that he could barely separate them. If Sara were gone… he didn't know what he would do. No, it didn't bear thinking about. Not Sara. His best friend. The one he could tell anything to, and she wouldn't judge. The one who always remembered his birthday. Hell, she always remembered everyone's birthdays. She always laughed at his jokes, even the bad ones. She's got to be alive. Sara is a fighter. She wouldn't let some crazy girl get the best of her. She was great at talking her way out of trouble. People listened to her. She…She had to be alive.

They all looked up when the door opened, and Brass walked in. "She's alive." He said as he walked into the room. He held up a hand to silence their volley of questions. "That's all we know. She, the girl, Natalie, she's not going to be answering any more questions right now. Grissom was, he was brilliant with her. Had her believing that he was flattered by her attention. That he admired her work, but once she'd admitted that Sara was alive, well, Gil couldn't hide the hope. She, she just shut down, singing that damn doll song over and over."

Catherine spoke up. "Where is he?"

"He- he um- he needed a little time alone. He said he'd be here in a few minutes to start assessing where to start." He looked up as a loud boom of thunder echoed over head. "I just hope he hurries."


Grissom sat down at his desk and took a deep breath. He reached over and picked up a picture sitting in front of him. It was a picture of the Heliconius Sara butterfly. He flipped it over and removed the backing. Underneath the butterfly picture, was a picture of his Sara. She was standing on a peer in San Francisco. She had been watching two children running around playing, and he'd taken the picture of her as she laughed, her face in profile. "I'm going to find you Sara. Just believe that. I'm going to find you."

TBC...