Disclaimer: I own no one, they belong to Mr Wolf
"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand."- Jacques Benigne Bossuel
Every night without fail she would wake up flushed, sweating, and gasping for breath. Nearly every night without fail the same dream, the same man. The last time she recalled having these dreams was when she first met him and they would come and go every so often, but not for a while, not since she found out his wife was having another baby. To say she didn't know what this was would be a lie. She knew what it was, but she was too scared to admit it, she wasn't allowed to feel like this. He was off limits, in that way he was off limits to her, she shook her head and whispered to herself "no... Pull yourself together Olivia." She tries to kid herself every time. Her head tells her Elliot Stabler is off limits, but her heart has other plans, and this time it's too strong to ignore.
...
He knew something was wrong with her. For the past couple of weeks she had been distant with him, nothing that was noticeable to the other guys at the precinct, but to him it was as clear as day. Something was just not quite right, she wouldn't look at him for more than a few seconds, every time he went to put a hand on her shoulder or lean over her at her desk went she was showing him something on the computer or a file, she would flinch or pull away, just subtle movements, but it had a big effect on him.
He had lain awake all night trying to figure out what was wrong, trying to come up with something that might have affected her, or heaven forbid, something that he might have done to hurt her. But nothing. He could think of nothing. The cases that they had were nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that she hadn't dealt with before.
He wants to help her, he wants to be there for her, he wants to hold her, he cares for her... Maybe a little too much. He closes his eyes, leans back on his pillow staring at the ceiling one hand behind his head, and thinks of Olivia, and only Olivia.
...
He had lain awake all night. Lying beside him, she stayed still, she didn't want to start a conversation with him at this time of night, and it would only be awkward, not that it wasn't awkward at any time of the day. Something was on his mind, she could tell and she didn't need any second guesses as to what or who it was. Something had happened between the two of them, but she knew he wouldn't cheat on her. It's not in his nature, no matter how bad the urge was he would never do that. But the thought had crossed her mind; after all, they spent countless nights together on the job, following suspects, undercover, at the precinct, in the crib and the locker room. Kathy closed her eyes as a single tear ran down her cheek on to the pillow, all she could see was the two of them together, the 'innocent' touches, the eyes they make across the room to each other, all she could see was nothing but Elliot and Olivia.
...
