Have any of you read Emachinescat's brand-new fanfiction, 'Why Do You Hate Me'? If you haven't, read it now. That fic was what inspired this fic. Anyways, the main gist of it is that Merlin writes a letter complaining about all the Merlin Whumpers on here. He asks for, just once, a fanfic in which nothing bad happens to him at all. So, that is what I'm writing. Merlin takes a vacation, and back in Camelot, everything goes absolutely bananas. Plus, because I'm a total freakozoid and I absolutely can't think of anywhere in his time period that would make for a good vacation spot, this is going to be a little bit crazy. Bear with me.


"Merlin!" Gaius hadn't seen his ward yet that morning. He knocked on Merlin's door. "Merlin?"

"Go away," of course, Gaius ignored this, and opened the door anyway.

"Merlin! What are you doing?" Gaius exclaimed. Merlin was packing all of his things in a shabby, large-ish backpack. Gaius sighed, "Another quest with Arthur?"

Merlin scoffed and pulled the pack over one shoulder, "No." Gaius looked surprised.

"I'm going on vacation, Gaius," at these words, Gaius' eyebrows flew all the way up, "I have had enough," Merlin continued, "of...having to...save Camelot, over and over again. I am sick and tired of having to do everything for Arthur, and of having to deal with my 'destiny' and of having to keep Uther, who, by the way, would kill me without a second thought if he found out about me, alive, and," he inhaled deeply, "I have had more than bloody enough," he shuddered, "of that...leech tank." Gaius blinked at him.

"Is that it?" he asked after a few seconds.

"Yeah, I think so, now, if you'll excuse me," Merlin stepped around Gaius and was just opening the door when the physician called out to him.

"Merlin," the warlock turned around, his hand on the door, "when will you be back?" Merlin tilted his head to the side, thinking, and then, after a moment, grinned broadly at Gaius.

"'Dunno...don't wait up for me," he laughed, and made his way out of Camelot with a brand new spring in his step, and guess what? He didn't even trip...once.


Yay! The anti-whump is off to a good start! Stay tuned for just a little bit (a lot) of (hey, who added that last set of parentheses?) insanity (yup, a lot of it (Hey! shut up...you... (Author's gnome) Author's...Gnome? Leave my author's notes alone!) Never! Bwahaha!). Look how special I am; (Author's Gnome inside an) author's note inside an author's note. It's like Inception! Read, review, etc., and beware of the Author's Gnome.