Mad-dog theorems.

AN:

Hey guys! I thought it would be cool for you guys to know a little more about Maddy - make her more of a character in your eyes. I'm thinking that it'll be mostly in the point of view of Spike, just to shake things up a little. Remember - reviews are my friends! Also - I need to fix up some of 'Edging Back In'. I realised a hell of a lot of continuity errors. My bad!

Disclaimer:

I own none of the character's from Whedonverse. Anyone you don't recognise is mine. *Sigh* can someone PLEASE tell Josh that I deserve Spike. Just for a little while at least. It's all I ask!

Enjoy the fiction-ing!


She wasn't much when I first saw her. At that time, I wasn't much myself to be honest - not matter how much the little Texan tried, she couldn't find out what I was exactly. Or find a way to put me back into some skin and bones.

The Watcher was complaining about have too many translations to do, and not enough workers to translate them. So, with the power invested in him, and a hefty increase in his budget, he was on the hunt for readers of ancient blah. Just goes to show that Peaches finds some old books more interesting then gettin' me an office. Which - as I was a fully fledged member of Team Angel - I richly deserved. Saving their arses all the time...

With nothing better to do, I floated around the offices, seeing who I could piss off for the time being. Knowing that Angel was in some meeting with the Dutch of some demon species that looks a little less inviting, I had to find some other way to keep myself from going insane. It looked like I couldn't go see Buffy - heck, I couldn't get out to Vegas for some decent fun. Never mind go where ever she was.

(Buffy. Gotta keep her out my mind-)

"BLONDIEEE BEAAAR!"

If I had brains, they would be splattered across the wall right about now.

Counting to ten, I turned, raising my eyebrow at Harm, "What?"

She leaned over the desk, beckoning me over, an excited look about her face, "Did you hear about the new girl?"

I frowned. So Book-Boy picked up a girl. A nice, juicy little titbit I can play mind games with then. Maybe if Fred ever did find a way to get my body back, I'd find some fun in the newbie.

"She looks ok. I mean - if 'geek' is in right now," Harm quipped, "Have you seen her scurrying about after Angel? Huuuuge crush!"

Or maybe not. So she's got it for Peaches? This'll be a whole new level of fun.

"You know 'er name yet?"

With a few clicks around the computer, Harmony found the email that was surfing the 5th floor.

"'Maddison Kir-Kir-Kirkody?'" she scrunched up her nose in confusion - something that always annoyed me about her.

I read the screen, "'Kirkaldy.' It's Scottish."

"Whatever Mr Show-off. At least I can pick up things!" she demonstrated, lifting up her mug of blood and slurping from it loudly, "Mmm! Yummy-"

Angel walked through his office door, Wesley and a small, black haired girl following closely after him.

"I guess you should meet the rest of the team," Wes said to her over his shoulder.

She nodded obligingly, struggling to carry several huge books with her, "Of course."

Harm looked smug, perking up at her voice, "Ha. She's American!"

"Never said she wasn't," I murmured, my eyes on the new girl, trying to suss her out.

Harmony was a little right - she was the office geek. Plain black pencil skirt, black tights, white shirt - it look more like a school uniform on her than an office suite. Maybe she thought she had to dress like lawyers to work with this lot? I could tell that underneath all that office get up, she might have a decent looking body. She was easy on the eyes, had curves in places that looked good and had that naive look around her, like her parent's hadn't quite set her up for the big badness that the outside world had in store and if she worked hard enough, everything would fall into place. This was going to be easier than I thought.

"Maddy, this is Harmony - my sec-"

Harmony put out a well manicured hand to 'Maddy', "Harm. Angel's Chief Assistant."

"Assistants have chiefs?"

"Shut up, Spike."

The girl took her hand, shaking it quickly to try to stop the tumbling books to no avail.

Turning red, she directed a 'sorry' at Peach's chest and stooped down quickly to pick them up with Wesley's help. And then she stopped, dumbstruck.

"Y-your...your foot-" she mumbled, looking with large brown eyes at the mammoth text that was planted firmly in my incorporeal boots.

"He's a ghost," Harmony piped in, stating the obvious, "It's a long and very boring story."

Removing the book from my foot, the girl stood up, "Oh. Did you die here-"

"I died a champion. I stopped an apocolypse."

"All he done was put on a necklace-" Angel interjected.

"An amulet. He was meant to wear it. But the poncy git got all a sissy-like. Ain't that right, Peaches?" I smirked, watching warning flash of yellow pass over his eyes.

"Let me show you your office..." Wesley took some of the books from the girl, leading her up the stairs.

"Wait a minute! New girl gets an office an ol' Spike's left with wandering about? How the hell does that work out?" I asked, incredulously. I pointed at Angel as he opened his mouth, "Don't bother with the whole 'you're a ghost' nonsense. Wasn't like that when I was hitting you up, was it?"

Caveman brow furrowing, Angel glared at me, "You took over someone else's body. And you're not an employee. You're an inconvenience."

"'Inconvenience'?! Is that right?"

Shaking his head in impatience, Angel sighed, crossing his arms over his ape like chest, "Wouldn't've said it otherwise."

I nodded, smirking, "Alright. I'll remember that-"

It was dark. And damp. I frowned. Not again. Not another trip to the...wherever I was.

I sighed, "Might as well make the most of it..." I muttered to myself, going off to wander around the basement like room. I remained silent, trying to find out if anyone was here. Silence. Then a hissing sound.

Turning around, I saw nothing. Nothing to be paired up to the noise.

"Look, I'm getting pretty tired of this now. It was funny to start off with 'Let's make the ghost boy paranoid', but now you're just pissing me off. You obviously want me here, so be a man 'n' tell me why!"

No reply.

"Fine then. Be a coward..." I grumbled. Damn, I needed a fag. Cursing the fact that I couldn't hold a cigarette, I searched for the hissing sound. Out of habit, I worked my way around the various debris that lay strewn all over the concrete floor. Assuming I'm still in Hell Inc, it was obvious the cleaners never made their way down here often.

Reaching a wall, I looked up and saw that the piping was letting off a steam of water.

"Note to self: Tell Peaches he needs a plumber," smiling at my use of wit even in the current situation, I moved back from the pipe, turning around to that I was in an office room.

She sat at her desk, mumbling something under her breath, stopping to frown and then jotting it down.

"That better not be any mojo," I quipped, knowing she didn't see me but trying to hide my confusion.

Startled, she looked up, "Oh. Didn't see you come in....Spike?"

I nodded, strolling up behind her to see what she was writing, "Never saw myself walk in to be honest."

She frowned in confused, but let it slide, "It's not magic. It's Runskorth."

"What?"

"A dead demon language."

"Things they teach in school now-a-days."

She smiled, her face lighting up from the serious one she had a minute ago, laughing a little, "No. This was what I did for fun."

"No boyfriend?"

She shook her head, looking back at her book, "Nope. I was to cool for that."

"Don't get me wrong, but what you doing here? I'm guessing from you're some language buff. Why not do travel?" I asked, trying to make some sense of the strange symbols on the paper.

She shrugged, "Wanted to be an English teacher. But you make more money out of this. Besides, I'm good at reading things."

I had tuned out at 'money' wandering around her office, trying to see what personality she had from the things she brought in. A picture of her and a brown haired girl. College friend?

"How long have you been...dead for?"

"Bout 125 years."

"Wow. And you've been trapped here that long?" Maddy asked, looking at my sympathetically.

"No. I was a vampire before this," I said, demonstrating by putting my hand through a wall and hearing a scream and shout from outside. I smirked as I saw her trying not to laugh.

"I thought vampires get all dusty when they get killed."

"They do. I'm just an exception."

"Because you're a champion?"

"Something like that." I liked the sound of that. Me being a champion.

Looking down at her work, she tried to act casual, "Angel's a champion, right?"

Why do things always come back to him? I rolled my eyes, "Yeah. The poofster's a champion."

A goofy smile spread over her face, her face turning red. I could smell the lust coming off of her in waves. It was disgusting.

"He can't have sex."

She looked up at me, frowning, "What?"

"Peaches. Angel. Can't have sex."

"I...don't get it."

I could say anything. He's a eunuch! He's only interested in men (which he probably was...)! If he does have sex, his penis explodes and grows back at an alarmingly slow rate!

"He has a curse."

Oh. That's it Spike. Go for the truth.

"A curse?" She asked, leaning forward, a serious look on her face, "What curse?"

"Killed some gypsy girl. Family gave him a soul and cursed him - he can't have one moment of pure happiness, or he turns evil."

"Can't we just...counter the curse?"

I frowned, "Doubt anyone's thought about it. Can't be that simple though."

"I guess...we should try it. Think of ways to take off the curse, but leave the soul."

"Hold your horses there, love! You've only been here, what? 2 hours? And you're already trying to fix things that ain't broke. The guys got you whipped or what?"

"I'm not- I....," she blushed, looking flustered.

"It's alright. I'm not here to judge. Even if it is stupid to want him."

"I don't want him. He - why do I even need to explain myself to you?" she asked, glaring at me slightly.

A light bulb flickered above my head, "Angel said we've to share the office."

She frowned, a mixture of confusion and delight on her face, "He did? Me specifically?"

I rolled my eyes. This whole 'I'm so in love with Angel' thing was just getting annoying now, "Yes. He said we've to share. You need to ask the janitor for another desk and chair. So hop to it. Don't want Angel all disappointed now, do we?"

Smiling profusely, she jumped out of her seat to begin the search for the janitor. On her way out, she muttered something about how strange it was for a ghost to want a desk and chair, but continued on her quest.

This was going to be easy.