A/N: The title of this fic, as well as the titles of each chapter, is a song title from the band The 88. They recorded the Community theme song, 'At Least it was Here'for the show and it can be found on the official soundtrack. The other titles are from their album Not Only…But Also. Periodically I sprinkled their song lyrics into the dialogue or thoughts of Jeff (the POV character). This is NOT a music fic. There is a soundtrack if you're so inclined; it's just what I was listening to while I wrote. Since I'm posting this as separate chapters I'll include the soundtrack on my Bio page. Also, if I owned the show Jeff and I would be BFF's. Thankfully, I don't.
At Least it was Here
Chapter 1: Waiting for the Next Drug
The study group files out after their cram session for Bio 101 but Annie had texted Jeff earlier and asked if he would stay after and talk to her for a second. So as she tells Troy and Abed she'll be home later, he finalizes movie plans with Britta (who agrees to buy the gin if he provides the cable) and sits back down.
"So, what can I do for you?" Jeff slides his hands behind his head in preparation for the imparting of wisdom on his youngest friend.
"Jeff, we need to talk about us."
Whoa. Great, this is not what he needs on the Friday before a test. Not that he doesn't adore Annie, he does. The problem is no matter how fast either of them is maturing, he is still 16 years older than her and in no mood to become a pervert. She is a beautiful, smart, charming, beautiful (needed to be said twice) young woman that he would love to get in the sack under any other circumstances. Unfortunately she is also about 10 years too young and one of his only real friends.
"Annie, there is no 'us,' remember? I really think you may be reading into things that just aren't there. That can't be there." He sighs and pats her on the head in the most fatherly way he can imagine. "Look, kid you're great but-"
"No Jeff," she's standing directly in front of him now and he gulps and takes a step back. "There isn't an 'us,' but there could have been."
He doesn't want to do this. He really doesn't. Honestly, he thought she was over it and sure he has had some lingering glances, thoughts, but it's only to be expected. He would never again act on them the way he did at the Tranny dance. Still, he'd also rather not have to try and let her down gently.
"Annie-" She huffs and impatiently cocks her hip to the side. In that moment she reminds him of Shirley and he holds back a laugh. He sits down and gestures for her to continue.
"Jeff, you are going to let me finish. There could have been and I know you say it's because I'm too young, or that's what you will say, but even if I wasn't 20 and you weren't 37-"
"36."
"-36, we still wouldn't work." She wraps an arm around herself, looking more like her 20 years than she has this entire year. He moves to put an arm around her but she steps away and puts her hand out to keep him in his chair.
"Annie, what's going on? Why the sudden desire to share?" She has the biggest, most round-eyed, Disney face he has ever seen and his brain struggles against it like a mouse caught in the jaws of a python. "Annie?"
Her face changes then, the Disney melts away and he's left with something akin to Britta's smug look. He hates that look on Annie. Its okay on Britta because she's, well, Britta. She is angry, needlessly defiant, damaged, vulnerable, but unwillingly to admit it, Britta. On Annie it makes him feel like a failure and he isn't sure why.
"What is everyone doing tonight?" He raises his eyebrow to question. Why the change in topic, he wonders, but relents anyway when she keeps her face a mask of smug indifference. On second thought he likes to wipe that face off of Britta too when he sees it. Maybe he only likes it on himself…
"The study group, you mean? How should I know?" He leans back in his chair and kicks his feet onto the table.
"Think about it." Hmm, well its Friday, he thinks, so…
"Okay, I think Shirley is going to dinner with Andre because it's date night, right? And Abed and Troy are having an Inspector Spacetime marathon-they invited you earlier but you said you'd probably study tonight. Pierce, I don't know what he's doing but my guess is ordering things from the home shopping network that he doesn't need because he has no life outside this room." Feeling pleased with himself Jeff smiles up at Annie. "Are you trying to prove I don't care about anyone?"
Annie looks pleased too, which is unnerving. "Nope," she chirps, "what about Chang?" Jeff thinks for a minute…what about Chang?
"What about Chang? He moved out of my place months ago, I have no idea what he's doing. Let's get on with this. Just make your point and accuse me of whatever it is you think I've done wrong and I can tell you how much I don't care and we can both go home."
She turns her head and appears to carefully study the table. When she turns to him again her eyes are the slightest bit moist but she blinks away so fast he almost can't be sure what was there.
"You forgot you and Britta" She walks her fingers over the top of the table.
So that's what this is about. Annie thinks he and Britta are still sleeping together. Easy. He'll just let her know they're not. Well, not as much as last year. He can actually count how many times they've hooked up since their declaration to stop seeing each other on one hand. Jeff cocks his head. He can feel his eyebrows dip down and his forehead crinkle up. He consciously makes an effort to smooth it out. He'll be damned if he gets premature forehead wrinkles because of Annie. "What about me and Britta?"
"What are you doing tonight?"
"We're watching a movie at my place. It's some documentary about the Sudan, because her cable is out. Again. She'll bitch and I'll tell her it's stupid, because it is. Half way through she'll be drunk enough that I can change the channel and we'll fall asleep on my couch watching reruns of the Real World on MTV7 or whatever it is. What's your point?"
She pushes the tip of a manicured finger nail into his chest and he absently notices her purple nail polish matches her cardigan. Britta would never do that, probably because she always wears so much black.
"That is my point."
"That Britta is using me for my cable? I know." Annie leans against the table and dips her head to look down at him.
"Ugh, no, my point is that nothing could have ever happened between us because of you and Britta."
"There is no 'me and Britta.' Not since last semester and you guys freaking out." She laughs at this and Jeff tries to glare as menacingly as he can but she is only laughing harder. "There. Is. No. Jeff and Britta."
"There is too, and neither of you want to see it. You spend every Friday night together whether the group is there or not, don't pretend you don't!" She holds out her hands and using her right pointer finger to tick off strikes against him. "You spent an entire year sleeping with each other behind our backs. You started the group just to get her, Jeff, and now you've got her and you're not doing anything about it. You still snark at each other and bicker and get us all in trouble. You're still putting yourselves before us and unless you guys get together soon you're just going to keep doing it. And that's more unhealthy then you both just…getting together."
"This isn't one of Abed's films, Annie, you don't understand about Britta and me-"
"Yes I do, believe me, we all do."
"We?"
"Yes, I drew the short straw to talk to you about this but the group decided together. Well, except Pierce. He said it didn't matter since you and Britta were so obviously gay."
"What?" Jeff reflexively kicked the bag beside his feet.
"Yeah, he said-"
"Not Pierce, what about the group, what did you decide?"
"I was chosen to talk to you because we think you'll be the most receptive. Britta, we thought, would be defiant on principle. Shirley's tried and-"
"How long have Britta and I been the hot topic of discussion with you guys?" She has the grace to blush when he interrupts her. It reminds him how young she still is.
"That's not the point and you know it! We know you don't want to admit it but you're fighting each other because of all this tension and it's annoying. It's ridiculous how you always have to compete and be the center of the others world or one of you is sulks. If you're not conspiring, you're arguing. We think you're hurting each other. You're, like, two-of-a-kind, and you don't even know it!"
"What? Is that some Abed reference to Casino Royale? Is he making you watch the Ocean's Eleven movies? The first one was the only good one?"
"No. It's from the vote, the one last year when we were trying to decide if Pierce should stay in the group or not."
"I remember the vote Annie," he says it in his most monotone voice.
Even if she is only trying to help this conversation is getting on his nerves. He irritably runs his hands through his hair as he tries to calm down and not yell at her. She doesn't deserve that, this isn't her fault it's everyone else's. How dare the group tell him and Britta what they should do with their lives. If they want to be friends then that's what they'll be and if they want to fuck that's what they'll do and if they don't then they won't but it has nothing to do with a stupid study group. And how dare the cowards make Annie do this.
He sighs, "What about the vote?"
"Please don't be mad. We started-well, I started-calling you guys the Spades, its code. See during the vote I was still sort of hung up on you and I was going to wait to see how you voted before I put my card in. Only when you slid your card in you did it at the same time as Britta. I mean, it was perfect timing, I was watching. You turned to each other, locked eyes, and slid your hands forward. You two just moved in sync. The cards you guys put in were the King and Queen of Spades. That's when I knew. It just sort of, caught on."
"They were just cards!" He roughly tugs his hair and leans back, his spine stretching as he moans piteously. Or, he's hopes it is, he's going for piteously.
"You guys are wasting time running from something amazing and the sooner you see it, the better off we'll all be. The better off I'll be…" She drags her bag off the study table and heads towards the door. She is there before he can even stand up. "Just, think about it. I'll see you Monday, have a good weekend." Her hair whips back as she smiles over her shoulder and the door slams, leaving him alone. He is supposed to be home in three hours for his and Britta's documentary non-date. He'd blow it off but she still has a key from when they were regularly hooking up and will just go in and get drunk without him. He'll have to go home sometime and she'll still be there.
He doesn't know how he'll be able to face her after what he just listened to but he hasn't left himself a whole lot of options.
