For your reading pleasure: another historical Tenth Doctor adventure courtesy of your humble narrator, Loki. All non-original characters are the property of the BBC, etc, etc. Gallifrey Rises!


"…Anyway, the whole thing got blown completely out of proportion and before you know it, I'm standing before the Sacred Stone of Gassifar with a Kalcitronian dissolution rifle pressed into my back, about to be married to one of the smaller of Raxacoricofallapatorius' moons!"

Rose sat with her knees tucked under her chin, listening intently to every word the Doctor said. "How'd you get out of that?" She asked eagerly.

"Managed to convince them I was the reincarnation of their prophet Fallafafaffalaf," the Doctor replied, stretching his legs out and putting his hand behind his head. "They carried me back to the TARDIS themselves; even gave me a couple of Sirian meta-chickens to keep me company. Then it was just a matter of reversing the polarity of the crystal matrix-" the Doctor leaned back in his office chair and punched a few buttons on the command console, eliciting a whining squeak from one of the pipes above, "-and off I popped."

"Wow," Rose mumbled after a long pause. "When was all this again?"

"Ooh, ages ago," the Doctor replied flippantly, swivelling on his chair. The quiet sounds of the TARDIS in flight hummed in the background of their silence.

"I can't believe you never told me the bit about the Slitheen and the game of strip Pelosian Mega-Poker before," Rose chuckled, folding her legs beneath her.

The Doctor blinked. "I don't like to talk about that."

Rose stared hard at the Doctor as he twiddled his thumbs absent-mindedly. "Were you making that up?" She asked.

"Every single word," the Doctor replied as he gazed distractedly around the TARDIS' inner sanctum. Rose leapt to her feet.

"But you've been telling that story for an hour!" She screeched, crossing her arms over her chest. "You mean you made the whole thing up?"

"Yup," the Doctor replied, standing and crossing to the command console to poke at buttons half-heartedly.

Rose stormed after him, the metal grille clattering beneath her feet. "So what's the point of the last hour been, then?" She demanded, leaning over the side of the console threateningly.

"Just to see when you'd catch on," the Doctor replied with a grin. "I win!"

Rose frowned and made to reply, but the Doctor's infectious smile caused her to burst into a snort of laughter. "I could go off you, you know," she warned him.

The Doctor pumped a handle on the console twice before looking back up at Rose. "Nah."

Suddenly the whole room shook as if the TARDIS had hit a wall. The soft yellow lights turned a dark, harsh red as steam and smoke escaped from vents all over the place. The shaking intensified as the sound of grinding metal pervaded the air, licks of flame spurting from broken pipes beneath the ramp.

"Rose!" The Doctor cried as he clung to the console. "Are you okay?"

Rose got up from the floor, coughing. "I'm okay," she croaked through the thickening smoke. "What happened?"

"Collision!" The Doctor shouted back to her as he flicked switches and turned wheels madly. "According to the readouts we've crossed time streams with another traveller!" He explained, hardly believing his own words.

"Another traveller?" Rose repeated. "I thought we were the only-"

"We are!" The Doctor cut Rose off, running haphazardly around the circular console as the whole TARDIS shook. "We must have fallen into a time loop, come back around and smashed into the back of our past selves; it just doesn't make sense otherwise, it's literally impossible!"

Rose slipped onto the ground and hung desperately to a rail as explosions rocked the TARDIS. "What do we do?" she cried out.

"Hold onto something- oh good, you are," The Doctor replied, "Crash landing! Here we go!"

***

The sounds of drunken revelry and pop music spilled out onto the street as the young girl tottered out of the doorway, bumping into a barrel-chested bouncer and slowly regaining her balance. Her white stilettos clicked noisily on the pavement as she straightened out her short, figure-hugging dress and lit a cigarette shakily. Two similarly-dressed women stumbled out of the pub amid braying laughter.

"Oi, Jacks," one of them called out, "where you going?"

"Home!" the young woman replied, breathing out a plume of white smoke, coughing slightly. "I don't wanna have to see his bloody face no more!"

"Oh, come on, Jacks," the woman replied, "we're going to that new club on Flint Street after!"

"I don't care!" the girl shrieked, throwing her cigarette to the ground and stumbling off amid a clicking of heels. A long-nailed hand streaked running mascara across her face as she sniffed loudly.

An explosion from behind her threw her to the ground, grazing her knees on the hard paving stones. Shattering glass and shrieks rent the air as the blast seemed to deafen her to everything but her own heartbeat. A rush of dust and rubble blew over her, filling her nostrils with debris as she choked and coughed, trying to stand up. The bouncer staggered upright, bleeding heavily from his head.

Confused voices cried out over the destruction, feet pounding on pavement as the pub began to empty. Slowly the young woman began to hear snippets of human tongues, repeating words like "bomb" and "IRA". As the dust began to settle she saw the entire front of the restaurant across the road torn away, its clients lying around, broken and bleeding as a huge hole in the ground gaped before them. Rubbing her eyes she watched a skinny man climb out of the hole and start looking around him in horror, holding his head in his hands.

"What…what happened," she asked dumbly, pushing blonde extensions out of her eyes. The man turned and his face dropped in shock.

"Rose, I thought I told you to stay inside!" He yelled, grabbing her arm. "It's safer in the TARDIS than it is out here and-how did you get that change of clothes?" He asked, confused.

"Let go of me!" The girl screamed, tugging her arm away. "My name isn't Rose! Get off of me!"

"What? Rose, stop messing about!" The man spat at her angrily. "Get back in the TARDIS! Now!"

The man went sprawling from a hefty blow from a slender hand. "My name," she repeated, "is not, Rose!" She stood defiant. "My name is Jackie!"

The man pulled himself up, swaying slightly as he regarded her with total disbelief. "…No," he said at length, shaking his head furiously. "No way!"

"Want another one, do you?" the girl threatened, raising her hand again.

"…No way!" He repeated, his eyes wandering over her. She felt uncomfortable as his gaze went from her eyes to her lips, backing away shyly as they slipped down her body before rapidly winching back up from the tops of her legs, shaking his head rapidly.

"…No way!"