Disclaimer : I do not own Instant Star, Or Any of It's Characters including : Jude Harrison, Tommy Quincy, Kwest, Sadie Harrison, Spiederman Mind Explosion, Darius Mills, Portia Mills E.T.C, I also do not own any of The Instant Star/Alexz Johnson lyrics
Author's Note:- Hey guys don't worry I haven't given up on my other fic, I've just got a major case of writer's block when it comes to that fic. The idea for this fic struck me last week and has been nagging at me ever since so here it is ENJOY
Please Read and Review + Daydreams and Dreams and Flashbacks are written in bold italics
And lyrics have o0o's before and after them
Passages from Jude's journal are written in italics
I DO NOT OWN ANY LYRICS FEATURED IN THIS CHAPTER/FANFICTION
THEY BELONG TO A RECORD COMPANY/SONGWRITER/ARTIST TYPE PERSON BUT NOT TO ME !!!!
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Mayhem reigned on the new G Major tour bus as the SME boys were making the most of their last night on tour by having a revolting food fight.
They were lobbing raw eggs, stale bread, sour milk, ketchup, maple syrup, mouldy cheese, leftover sushi and other nauseating out of date food items at each other .
Jude sat in the middle of the chaos in silence staring out the window with her new journal propped up in front of her, she clicked the pen a few times and ran her fingers over the writing on the first page "Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us" she murmured before turning the page and began writing :
So as it turns out you can't base everything on Joey Ramone lyrics because even Ramone couldn't have put into song the rollercoaster that has been my life the last few months
. First of all Tommy took off without so much as a goodbye causing me to go into complete meltdown mode and ditch my album release party and follow Mason down to Berry where I got insanely drunk with this random guy.
The only thing I remember is performing There's Us, downing multiple vodka shots and waking up in Mason's hotel room with Jamie banging at the door.
I got back to G Major expecting Darius to throw a major hissy fit and kick me out on my butt or something, well he threw a mini Darius-esque paroxysm right before he told me that My Sweet Time had reached #1.
Naturally enough all my woes disappeared for a few hours as I floated about in a bubble of beatific euphoria at gaining my coveted #1 spot just one day after my album hit the shelves.
However I was brought crashing back down to earth when I realised that there was one person who should have been standing beside me being just as deliriously happy as I was, that wasn't.
I locked myself away from the world and stayed in my bedroom for two whole days racking my brains trying to find a plausible explanation for Tommy leaving like that but none came and I sank deeper into my chasm of depression.
Then Darius threw me a life buoy, a way to escape all my problems and take my mind off all of the drama. A tour promoting my new album.
So he bought a new tour bus and sent me and SME on a cross-country trek for two months.
I blocked all my feelings out and focused on singing my songs and trying to write new ones . It did me the world of good and it made me realise that life does go on without Tom Quincy.
I couldn't give a damn where that jerk is now and I really couldn't care less if he never shows his face again.
I'm hoping that Darius and Liam will let Kwest be my producer from now on so I can put all the bad stuff behind me and wipe the slate clean and start afresh on my Junior album.
Though I haven't been able to write a single new song since he took off. Please let this writers block end once I get home and get settled back into my life.
But my life won't be the same will it?. There's this evil voice at the back of my mind , spitefully whispering all my doubts, reinforcing them. I try to shut it out but it won't go away. God I hate him so much for doing this to me. He's turned me into a gibbering wreck, unsure of everything I've ever known.
If only my music would come back to me then at least I'd have a glimmer of my old self to hang onto but I don't. Its like I've morphed into a different Jude, a Jude that can't put her feelings into words. No I'm still me and I just need to get back on track and I'll be fine and Lil' Tommy Q can take a short walk off a cliff for all I care.
Jude snapped her journal and slipped it into her bag. She stared out of the window deeply lost in her thoughts when she was brought crashing back to reality by an egg colliding with the side of her face. Speed, Wally and Kyle exchanged glances of suppressed mirth as Jude slowly wiped the egg from her face and turned to the guys with an wicked expression on her face "One word guys".
Speed laughed nervously "Heh ……. Run?". Jude smiled "Oh Yeah". Pandemonium erupted as they all resumed the food fight. Jude flinging leftover sushi, Speed squirting maple syrup, Wally lobbing raw eggs and Kyle firing a disgusting mush of stale bread, mouldy cheese and sour milk.
The fight continued all night and into the early hours of the morning. Wally and Kyle had exhausted themselves and they were lying fast asleep in their bunks.
Jude was lying on her bunk staring at the ceiling wide awake. Speed came over munching on a bag of Extra Spicy Jalapeño peppers flavoured chips, sat at the foot of Jude's bunk and offered her some. Jude sat up and shook her head "How can you eat after the nauseating food fight we just had" she asked smiling.
Speed shrugged "I'm a guy, we can stomach many things, its in the genes". Jude raised her eyebrows "Yeah" and flopped back onto her bunk and resumed staring at the ceiling. Speed pocketed the chips and stretched out on the bunk beside her "So Instant Star, written anything new for your junior album?". Jude sighed "No". Speed looked at her in puzzlement "But you were scribbling away in your journal earlier and I thought you were churning out some bona fide Jude Harrison libretto".
Jude looked at him perplexed "Libretto?". Speed rolled his eyes "Opera lyrics, God dude did you actually retain any knowledge in Music last semester?". Jude whacked him with her pillow "Shut up". Speed responded by shoving a pillow in he face.
They ended up starting a mini pillow thrashing war until they were covered in bits of pillow filling and fluff. Jude was laughing her head off at the sight of Speed literally spitting feathers when he looked out the window "DUDES WE'RE HOME" and proceeded to jump to and fro between Wally's and Kyle's bunks. Jude peeked out the window as they pulled into the parking lot of G Major and sighed a mixture of sadness and resentment as she grabbed her backpack and guitar case.
She made her way to the door at a snails pace, taking each step little by little. When she got to the door, Jude took a deep steadying breath steeling herself before she threw herself back into the shark tank that was her life. Jude bit her lip nervously knowing that she could prolong it no longer since SME were growing pretty restless behind her and pushed the door open.
Dad, Sadie, Jamie, Kwest, Patsy, Liam, Darius and Portia were all outside with stupid silly grins plastered all over their faces. Well Liam had his usual tough-guy-don't-mess-with-me smirk/scowl, Darius with his uber hip-hop record company smoothness made even the stupidest grin look cool and well Patsy had her version of a grin on her face which was a mixture of a scowl and a pained smile.
Jude was hugged to death in turn from Dad, Sadie, Jamie, Kwest and Portia, Got a welcome home high-five from Patsy and handshakes from Liam and Darius. Jude felt like her jaw was going to break from all the forced smiling she was doing.
Even though she was surrounded by people who cared about her Jude had never felt so alone and all she wanted to do was jump back on the bus and go anywhere but here. Portia swung an arm around her shoulders "Sweetie we need to talk schedules".
Jude feigned a smile of interest and shrugged her shoulders "I'm all yours" , Portia took a clipboard from Sadie and consulted it "We're shooting a batch of new videos for your second album so that'll take a few weeks and I know you just want to get back in the studio and work on your Junior album but we're sliding your third album on the back burner for now".
They were now inside G Major and had reached Sadie's desk, Portia tossed the clipboard to Sadie "Sadie talk her through the rest of her schedule while I confer with Liam about the charity event".
Sadie nodded and smiled dutifully until Portia had disappeared into Liam's office then she pulled a face and stuck out her tongue "I swear I'm gonna kill her one of these days". Jude raised her eyebrows questionably. Sadie rolled her eyes "She got Tommy's old position of Vice President after you guys went on tour and she has been lording it up ever since".
Jude poked Sadie playfully "Lay off her Sadie, I'm sure she's just adjusting". Sadie rolled her eyes again "I bloody well hope so because if this bossy version of Portia sticks around I will not be blamed for my actions" Jude chuckled and pointedly indicated the clip board. "Okay well you've got all morning free until 11am, then you have a couple of interviews about the success of your second album, a quick performance of White Lines, then next you have hair, make-up and wardrobe fitting for tomorrow nights Instant Star 3 final, after that rehearsal with SME for the final, you'll be performing a cover that Darius will choose for you later today"
Sadie handed her a sheet which echoed all the info she had just bombed her with and much much more. Jude stared at the lengthy itinerary in front of her in shock "Um Sadie since when did the label want to kill me by exhaustion and total brain meltage?".
Sadie had her head in a filing cabinet sorting out various record documents and spreadsheets so her reply was muffled "Ha Ha very funny Jude". She resurfaced with what looked like the cause for deforestation in the Amazon heaped in her arms.
"Quit complaining and go amuse yourself until it's time for your interviews". Jude perched on the edge of the desk "I was hoping that we could grab a bite to eat at Café Venezicia together my treat?". Sadie nudged her off the desk with her elbow and dumped the sheaf papers onto the desktop and shot her sister a death glare "Jude I barely have time to bloody breathe let alone spend quality time with my rock star sibling".
Jude held her hands up "Okay backing away slowly". Jude grabbed her guitar and made her way to Studio Three but on the way she overheard an argument coming from Liam's office. "Damn it Portia, You need to tell her!" Jude recognised Liam's voice and he didn't sound happy and Portia's stubborn retort "I haven't even told Darius yet and I think he'll blow his top more than Jude about this".
Jude pressed her ear to the door in an effort to hear more. "Yes Darius will be angry but he can be calmed, Jude on the other hand might go completely off the rails when she hears this" Liam's voice was growing angrier with every syllable.
"Jude?", Jude nearly jumped right out of her skin and turned to see Kwest standing behind her "What exactly are you doing Jude?" he questioned, a smile playing around his mouth". Jude punched him on the arm "Don't, you almost gave me a heart attack".
Kwest pulled her away from the door "Well that's the ultimate fate of eavesdroppers". "Very funny Kwest" Jude strained her ears to hear the rest of the conversation but Kwest snapped his fingers drawing her attention away from the argument "Hey I'm free if you wanna go over some of the songs you wrote on tour in the studio?".
Jude sighed dejectedly "I haven't written any new songs". Kwest smiled sympathetically "Don't look so worried, writers block on tour is common, we can just rehearse White Lines instead". Kwest went into Studio One and began setting up. Jude followed him "Why do I have to perform White Lines?",
Jude really didn't want to perform any of her songs that she had written with Tommy but especially White Lines because she wrote it about him and just thinking about performing it hurt. Kwest gave her a quizzical look "Didn't you even read a magazine while you were on tour? White Lines has been number 1 on the Toronto Charts for three weeks now".
Jude's jaw dropped and she stared at Kwest gob smacked. Kwest chuckled "Lift your jaw Harrison" and he went into the engineers booth. Jude popped the headphones on as the opening of White Lines filled the studio. Kwest leaned back in the chair as she began singing, studying her closely.
Darius came in and took a seat in the chair beside him "How is she?". Kwest took a moment before answering "She seems okay but I don't know something's different man".
Darius looked at Jude as she sang "I thought going on tour would help her but I think it just prolonged her facing up to her problems" Darius sighed "She's got bigger problems than T leaving Kwest and she doesn't even know". Kwest listened intently as Darius explained the true extent of the mess Jude was in "Jesus Christ man, How the hell are we going to fix this?".
Darius looked at Jude again "I honestly don't know" .
Jude was halfway through singing White Lines but suddenly a memory struck her. Tommy's face swam to the surface of her mind, Recollections of them recording White Lines reverberated around her mind and it hurt so much. Jude couldn't take it and ripped the headphones off and ran out of the studio with Kwest calling after her.
She flew past a shocked Speed, Wally and Kyle and halted at the reception desk and barked at Sadie "I need your car keys!".
Sadie looked concerned at her erratic behaviour "Jude wha-". Jude cut her off "SADIE JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN KEYS" before ripping the keys from Sadie's hand and shooting out the door leaving Sadie, Speed, Wally, Kyle and the rest of G Major opened-mouthed in her wake.
Kwest and Darius burst out of Studio One and before they could even draw breath Sadie rounded on them. "What the hell happened?" Sadie's eyes flashed anger and Speed sensing her seething-ness stepped in "Look dudes, Jude just shot out of here clearly bugging about something so as Sadie just expressively enquired, what's the deal?". "
We were just rehearsing White Lines when she just lost it" Kwest himself knew why she lost it, that song was about Tommy and he had argued for three days straight with Portia about Jude singing it because he knew that part of her was still too raw, her love for him was still there but it was battered and bruised and Kwest knew that her singing White Lines would crumble whatever protective resolve she had built while on tour but Portia was adamant that she sung it and since Tommy had sworn him to secrecy on pain of death when he told him about White Lines, he begrudgingly let her rehearse it and this was the consequence.
Darius went off to fetch Liam and Sadie began ringing Jude's cell but as expected she didn't answer. Kwest took Speed aside "Look man, how was she on tour?".
Speed sighed looking crestfallen "Yeah she was her normal Jude self when she was performing, doing interviews and smiling for the camera's but it was all forced, as soon as she got back on the bus or her room the mask just fell away and it showed the broken-hearted remains of the girl she used to be"
Speed's face was tense with anger "And it's all because of some pretty boy producer who conned her into l-l-l…..caring about him".
Even though Kwest was angrier with Tommy than anyone for making such a stuff-up of everything, he felt he had to defend his best friend "Hey that's unfair".
Speed looked at him incredulously "Tell me your not defending him?", Kwest lowered his gaze and his unspoken answer hung in the air. Speed shook his head in disgust and walked away. Portia, Liam and Darius emerged from Liam's office, Portia strode up to Kwest
"Do we have any clue as what set off the diva this time". Sadie snapped her cell shut "Excuse me?" she asked in a quiet deadly voice. Portia smiled unkindly "Well this wouldn't be the first temper tantrum Jude has thrown is it?", Sadie narrowed her eyes "If you like your jaw in its current unbroken state , I'd keep it shut". Portia laughed cruelly "Truth hurts doesn't it Sadie, the truth is your sister behaves like an infantile toddler when she doesn't get her way".
Kwest hooked an arm around Sadie's waist restraining her just incase she decided to claw Portia's eyes out "Be fair Portia, she's had a rough year and Tommy leaving really cut her deep".
Portia threw her hands up in the air "Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, that's all anybody ever goes on about when they're talking about Jude and how badly she's handling his leaving, well NEWSFLASH, Jude is turning eighteen this year and she's a big girl".
"Of course she's upset about Tommy leaving, he was her producer and they were really close friends" Sadie folded her arms. Portia looked at Sadie as if she had two heads "Oh come on Sadie, I think we all know it was much more than that".
"What are you talking about?" Sadie looked around the room but no-one would meet her gaze. Comprehension dawned on Sadie as she realised how stupid she had been "No" she whispered backing away from everyone "No Jude wouldn't …. she doesn't …. she can't". "Sadie" Kwest went to put his arms around her but she shoved him away tears forming in her eyes
"And everybody knew …. Everybody except idiotic Sadie who actually thought Tommy loved her not her stupid underage teenage sister" she spat.
Jamie came bursting in through the door and skidded to a halt in front of Sadie "Your house is on fire" he spoke urgently "The fire department has everything under control but they don't think they'll be able to save it, it's pretty bad".
Sadie felt weak at the knees and against Kwest and buried her face in his shoulder. Kwest led her to Hospitality and sat her down and made her a cup of strong tea. Jamie followed "I had to get here and make sure you were okay",
Sadie looked up at him in puzzlement "Why?". Speed, Wally and Kyle came over and plonked themselves down on the floor beside her. Jamie ran a hand through his messy mop of hair "Because your car was parked outside the house when it went up ,I was afraid you were inside and I knew Jude was safe because she has interviews here all day". Kwest dropped the cup he was holding with a deafening shatter and the whole of G Major went silent as they registerd what Jamie had just said.
"Jude" Sadie's face was ashen.
