THIS is Fatass?! A Cartman x Kyle fanfiction
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or any of its characters, no matter how badly I wish I did. But I I did, it would be all yaoi, so I'm sure no one would watch it anyway.
Enjoy!

"Hello?" "Moshi moshi, watashi-wa Kyle desu." "... It's Stan." Kyle's mouth dropped. The teen nearly let his new cell phone slip from his hands, but luckily he was brought back to reality by Stan's voice before he could. "You there?" "Y-Yeah, I'm here! It's been forever man, how are you?!" The male on the other line laughed softly, and it seemed deeper than before, more manly. Hell, they all must've change in those years since elementary school. All the guys except Kyle had gone to the same jr high, but after that, the gang was split up into three different high schools. Kyle had moved in the spring before sixth grade, as his mom had gotten a job at a prestigious new elementary school all the way in Tokyo!

"I'm fine! How's Japan?" "It's.. Crowded. I still haven't completely gotten the hang of the language either.." "I'm sure you'll get it." Kyle smiled at that. Except for his voice, Stan was still same old Stan. "Mm-mmph!" The teen gasped, and smiled widely at the voice that came through the speaker of his phone next.

"Is that Kenny-san?!" "Dude.. Too much time in Tokyo..." Kyle blushed and laughed embarrassedly. Stan continued. "Yeah, it's Kenny. Look, summers coming up.. And we all wanted to have a reunion party, you know, like they do for old guys who want to see their old high school friends?" Kyle wrinkled his nose. "Old guys? But I'm only fifteen..."

"Whatever, you get the point right? Anyway, it won't be the same without you. And with the hell I went through to get your new phone number you better find a way to be here! Besides, this is a long distance call..." Kyle was silent for a moment. Back to South Park? Back to.. His friends? His mom would understand right? And his girlfriend could live without him for a week. "Fine. I'll find a way to come." Kenny and Stan cheered on the other end, before Kyle got a thought. "So.. Fatass will be there?" "Eric? Of course!"
Kyle's nose wrinkled again. "Eric? You call him Eric now?" "Dude, aren't you friends with him on Facebook?" "No..." Stan snickered. "Ah..." Ah? What the hell did he mean by ah? "What dude?" "Nothing. See you at the Red Robins in South Park mall on July seventh!" And with that, Kyle was left holding his phone, confused and still slightly shocked to have received such a call.

"Kondo wa nani?"

? ﾟﾒﾘ?

Bored. Kyle was SO bored! Stupid mom, buying him a ticket in one of the worst seats and not mentioning that his iPhone cable broke when she "accidentally" stepped on it. Now he was stuck between a fat woman and a sleeping, drooling man, and a baby behind him was wailing so loud they should tape him to a police car to replace the siren. A small smile curled at the edges of his lips at the thought. And so, Kyle resorted to going to sleep as well, his dead iPhone in his pocket and all his books packed in his bags, which were checked rather than kept with him as a carry on. He'd be in America soon...

What would it be like?

'Sir~? Excuse me, sir~?' The hot, half-naked woman asked. It didn't make any sense.. Then his eyes flashed open, and he was staring up at the flight attendant tiredly. "Sir, the plane has landed. Please take your leave." "Ah.." Kyle yawned, and slowly forced himself to sit up, stretching his arms. "Gomen..." He murmured in exhaustion, and grabbed his small carry-on before heading down the isle and out the exit. A soft smile was playing on his lips now, though a tired one- he knew what would happen now. Today was the sixth of July. He'd settle down in a hotel and get a good nights rest, despite the fact that back home it was the middle of the day, and the next day he would head to Red Robins. Who cared about jet lag?

Kyle gathered up his bags from the baggage check carousel, and got in a taxi, giving the man the name of his hotel. "I need to go hotel Payton..." God, even his English was off now! The man gave him an odd look, before starting to drive. As they drove through the streets of South Park, Kyle gazed out the window. It was all the same... And he was smiling again, pointing out all the familiar places in his head.
As soon as they reached the hotel, he payed, checked in, and immediately crashed on the bed, exhausted from a long day of traveling.

✈️? ﾟﾇﾺ?

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP* the alarm went on and on, never ceasing in its loud, annoying sounds that were yelling at the Jew to GET THE HELL UP! Sighing softly, Kyle reached over and slammed his hand down on the button, stopping it from beeping. But he only had five minutes until it went off again... Damn it...

When his five minutes were up, the miserably exhausted boy stood and carried himself into the bathroom. Back home, he'd still be happily asleep... He climbed into the small shower and turned it on, washing his hair with his own scented shampoo and conditioner, as well as a special body wash that smelled like vanilla. And of course, a shower wouldn't be a shower without a little jacking off.. Then he stepped out and dried off, combing his hair, dotting some concealer on his flawless skin that totally didn't need it, and starting to get dressed. His stupid red hair had never done anything he wanted, and today was one of those days. It curled in every direction and as the male pulled on his favorite green hat and orange sweater, the mass of orange only helped to make him look even cuter. His large emerald eyes shone as he grabbed his wallet and phone and headed out the door.

Now, the only problem was; how did he get to Red Robins from here? He could always take a cab, but then he'd have barely enough money for food... Kyle sighed softly. He'd just have to walk.
The Jewish boy finally arrived; a half an hour late and cursing in Japanese the whole time he walked to the doors and opened them- but the curses faded as he sported Stan at the table. He was much more masculine, and had swapped out his old blue shirt for a cute gray one that complimented him perfectly, along with blue jeans. He no longer wore a hat. Kenny was tall and lean, and still wore his jacket zipped all the way up to his nose- still the same orange jacket, just a different size. He hadn't changed much at all! And next to Kenny..

Kyle's jaw dropped to the floor, broke through, and went all the way to the other side of earth and into space. Was that tall, sexy, absolutely flawless beauty of manliness that sat before him really Cartman?!

Admin: Okay, please review so I can know wether or not you guys liked it! If so, I'll write the next chapter. ^.^ also; you choose, shall it be smut, or shall I let the two stick to romance for a bit?

Kyle: please, god no smut! Cartman may look different.. But I'm not gay!
Admin: shhhalala! You're gay as a rainbow don't you dare ruin my yaoi fantasies you stupid Jew!
Kyle: now you sound like Cartman!