A/N: First, I'd like to say this--I'm not ripping on The Princess Bride. It's my favorite movie of all time. I would also like to say that I respect William Golding's writing, and that I am in no way, shape, or form attempting to copy his style. The characters in this story take his characters and add a different dimension to them. Or, at least that's what I'm fooling myself into believing. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I would also like to say that because I'm blending characters, o you lovers of Naruto, there will be some OOC. But don't let that discourage you. There will also be points where I deviate from the main plot line of The Princess Bride ever so slightly, but that is only so that I can explore characters and give them more depth. Now that you have been warned, proceed at your own risk.

Legal Stuffiness: I do not own Naruto, nor do I own the Princess Bride. This is written in respectful homage to both.

Enjoy, and please don't kill me for this.

Princess: A parody.

The Players:

Montoya Sasuke: a Spaniard.

Vizzini Shikamaru: an evil genius, and Sicilian

Sakura: a farm girl, a princess

Fezzik Gai: a man of extraordinary strength and a talent for rhyming?

Orochimaru: a prince

Jiraya: a miracle man

Tsunade: the miracle man's wife

Tayuya: an albino henchwoman

Count Itachi: a Spaniard, with six fingers on his left hand

Naruto: a farmboy, a pirate, a hero

And various others.

Act I: Prologue; Death of Love

She was a simple farm girl, once. Her life was happy. She lived in the country, with her father, her mother, thirteen cows, twelve pigs, six chickens, a rooster, and a horse. There was also a farm boy who lived in a shed at the back of the property. The farm was well kept, all through the valiant efforts of the farm boy, Naruto. Back in those days, Sakura had been bossy, and snobbish, for someone who grew up on a farm. She was the talk of the province, really. None of the men wanted anything to do with any of the other women if she was around. Her flawless skin glistened in the sun as she rode through town on her horse, creatively named "Horse." There were men who would trip and fall as they watched her go by, her long pink hair flying in the breeze behind her.

But, for all of this attention, she was quite oblivious. Other than her obvious favorite pastime of riding, she took pleasure in terrorizing the farm boy from morning until night. She would tell him to fix the roof on the chicken coop, to shine the saddle for her horse, or simply to fetch something that she was closer to anyway, but wanted him to get for her. Through all of this torture, he simply smiled softly, and said, "As you wish." This went on from the time they were twelve to the time they turned eighteen.

Suddenly, one day, she saw him working in the field, with the cows, and she felt like someone had punched her in the stomach, because she couldn't breathe. He was standing there, talking to the animals as if they were close friends in that oddly endearing way of his, and the sun was shining on him just so, making his golden hair seem like a halo. "Farm boy!" She called to him. This was how she always called him, because she never really used his name, but he didn't seem to mind. He came trotting over to her, and looked at her with a mildly expectant expression. "Farm boy, get me my horse. I'd like to go for a ride."

"As you wish." Sakura blinked as she stared into his eyes. They were like the color that the sky always wanted to be, but never really achieved. They were beautiful, and until he looked away, she could have sworn that she saw something warm and inviting there. It reminded her of the feeling she had curled cozily into her stomach just then. He strode off purposefully, as he always did when she ordered him to do something. It was as if her order gave him a reason to move, a reason to breathe. And she realized then that when he said "As you wish," he was only really saying, "Anything for you. I love you."

Now, he came back with Horse, and smiled thoughtfully at her. She took the reins from him, smiling back. "Thank you, Naruto." His eyes widened slightly, but only for a moment.

"Sakura?"

"Yes, Naruto?"

He never finished what he was about to say, because he simply stepped forward, and in that awkwardly adorable fashion that seems to pervade such events, kissed her. It was a gentle kiss, barely even there. Sakura's hand seemed to forget Horse's reigns, and she simply dropped them, in favor of throwing her arms around the boy's neck, giggling madly. "I love you, Naruto."

"I love you, too Sakura."

--

It was not long after this heartfelt confession that the pair decided they would marry. Naruto, having no money, decided to become a sailor. He was taken on as a cabin boy on a merchant ship, and sent her letters every time the ship came to port. Then, one day, the letters stopped. After months of waiting anxiously for his letters, Sakura began to grow worried, and then, one day, a letter finally arrived for her.

"Oh, I just know that it's Naruto, telling me he's alright!" Then, she saw the handwriting. It was not his. The seal on the envelope belonged to the merchant company that he'd worked for. Her hands shook as she tore the seal away, and unfolded the thick parchment.

Dear Madame,

It is my grave duty to inform you that your fiancé, Naruto, a sailor on board the merchant vessel Achilles, met his untimely death last month off the coast of Portugal. When the ship was nearing port, the black ship of the Dread Pirate Zabuza attacked. As you know, Zabuza never leaves survivors. You have my greatest sympathy, and my condolences.

Sincerely,

Hatake Kakashi

Chairman of Operations,

Bastille Trading Company

Marseilles, France

Sakura screamed. She cried. She locked herself in her room for a week, not eating, not drinking, not doing anything but crying softly to herself, and whispering everything she had never said to her beloved Naruto. How could he be dead? He was so full of life that he seemed to bring light into any room, and chase the clouds away when rain was threatening. He just couldn't be dead. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real.

But as the days passed, the fact that it was indeed very real began to sink in, and her crying slowed, and then came to a stop. She emerged from her room seven days after receiving the letter, and cried no more. No matter what, Naruto would not want her to cry. He would want her to smile. That was how she decided to honor him. She would no longer mourn him. She would attempt in some way to bring to others the light that he had brought to her. During her waking hours, she did a fine job of not crying. She smiled, talked with others, and even laughed occasionally. It was when she slept that her body shook with silent sobs, and she dreamt of her Naruto.

A/N: It's short, I know, but it's only a prologue. So, good, bad? Melodrama? Mmm? Tell me. This one, I'm really anxious about.