Darkness of the Heart
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the things I do. Star Wars, KOTOR and anything even remotely cool about anything I have no affiliation with.
A cold silence permeated the shyrack cave where two men stood waiting for her to return.
The disciple and Atton Rand, you couldn't find more different types of men, or so it would seem. The only thing they seemed to share was a powerful love for the woman now searching the tomb they now waited outside of.
The exile, Alia Tam had entranced them both with her kind spirit and captivating beauty. And her eyes, like brilliant emeralds that radiated a light that shone through to ones very soul. The exile won over both men the second they laid eyes on her.
And now they stood together waiting for her return.
Atton was pacing outside the door, mumbling incoherently under his breath. The disciple sat in a meditative position, outwardly appearing the picture of serenity, on the inside however his mind was racing as he thought about the woman they all now followed.
" you know she's not coming out don't you?" said a voice inside his mind, the tone full of malice. The disciple quickly tried to shake off the thought as his Jedi training dictated, but to no avail as the voice continued. "And even if she did what would it matter? She loves the fool not you. No matter what you do or what you say it is always him she turns to, always him who she leans on for support, not you."
He winced at the thought, though he knew it to be true, despite his best efforts to build a relationship with the exile he was never able to get as close to her as the scoundrel seemed to with almost no effort at all on his part. He seethed at the thought, that despite loving her since that first day he saw her at the Dantooine enclave all those years ago, she didn't and seemed never would share those feelings.
"She loves him, it is clear to see, you've noticed the way she looks at him. The way she laughs at his ridiculous jokes, the way her smiles are always genuine for him. Not like you, they always seem forced for you, like they're an act of politeness and nothing more. The truth behind the malicious thoughts stuck him like a sledgehammer. It was if he knew it to be true all along but only realised it now while meditating in this cave. He realized that the thoughts were a product of the darkness in the cave, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that right now.
"She merely tolerates your presence. You're a useful tool to her and nothing more. She'll take your love for her and she'll use it to do her bidding, then she will abandon you"
The door to the tomb swung open to reveal a battered and exhausted looking exile. Dirt smudged over her heart shaped face and marred her porcelain skin. A look of pain mixed with determination etched on her face Strands of blond hair escaped her ponytail and found their way over her eyes…
Her eyes, burning like green fire. It had been her eyes that first captivated him, bound him to her and held him in her thrall. It was then that he noticed where those stunning eyes of hers were pointed. Not at him who loved her more then life itself, who would willingly give everything he had to her if only she'd just ask, who abandoned the chance at becoming a Jedi for her. NO HER EYES WERE FIXATED ON HIM!!
Atton Rand appeared to be a no good scoundrel to anyone who took the time to look at him, anyone that is except her. Everyone on the ship was in agreement that he was no good, Kreia, Mira, even T3 were wary of the pilot. Why couldn't she see that the man was trouble? Why couldn't she see that he was rotten to the core?
"Maybe she sees all too well the fool's darkness and that's what draws her to him, like a moth to the flame. Perhaps she sees the taint on his soul and the murderous glint in his eye and that is what holds her interest". Could that be possible? He always felt that Atton was bad news, but up until that moment he always thought the exile was to innocently naive to see it.
"You feel it to be true, she is drawn to the mans dark soul, not the man himself. She would fall just for you if you weren't such a boy scout" The malicious voice took on an air of mockery at the comparison. "Surrender to the darkness, let it in to your heart and all you seek can be yours".
He realized that through the entire thought he had been staring at her mutely like a stunned Bantha. He ran over to her to help her as it looked like she was dead on her feet. He placed his hand on her shoulder to steady her and she looked as if she had to physically restrain herself from recoiling at his touch.
"Thanks Disciple, but I'm fine really" she said weakly, one of her forced smiles plastered onto her face.
"If you're sure?" He tentatively replied, worry etched on his face.
"Positive" she confirmed before limping towards the exit. She made it maybe ten steps before her knees gave way and she fell into the arms of a waiting Atton.
"You can stop being a hero now babe, I've gotcha" Atton said in that same cocky tone that had grated on the disciples nerves from the moment he met the man. But instead of the exile brushing away his attempt at helping her like she did the Disciple, she merely nodded meekly and allowed him to scoop her up into his arms.
The disciple was seething in anger and jealousy the entire hike back to the Ebon Hawk, though it was carefully hidden behind his mask of Jedi serenity. He watched in envy as the exile snaked her arms around Atton's neck and rested her head against his chest.
"Quite the contrast isn't it" The voice mocked. "She practically recoils in disgust from your hand on her shoulder, and then willingly jumps into his arms not two minutes later.
The disciple was driven from his thoughts by their proximity to the Ebon Hawk; they quickly climbed the boarding ramp and made their way to the med bay. Atton gingerly laid the exile down on the bed, and with one last gentle squeeze of her hand left the infirmary to pilot the ship.
The tired smile the exile wore seemed to fall of her face the minute the pilot left the room. Replaced by a look of pain and exhaustion she had been struggling to hide while he was present. A part of the disciple was glad for this, that she would allow herself to appear vulnerable to him and not to Atton. "Or perhaps it is merely that she does not care enough about you to be concerned that you might worry. Perhaps it is because she views you as the good doctor, who'll tend to her wounds and scurry off to leave her alone with the one she truly cares for.
The disciple tried desperately to ignore the thought as he tended to the exile wounds, hoping greatly to be away from this planet and the unsettling thoughts it conjured. The injuries she suffered were minor, a few cuts and scrapes, some minor lacerations and a sprained ankle. He had just finished tending to the last of them when the pilot sauntered in and pulled up a chair next to the bed. "We're in hyperspace, but the hyperdrive is still acting up, Bao says we should reach Dantooine in a week at current speed"
The disciple looked over to the exile, and saw that same smile return to her face as she listened to him, as if the sound of his voice drove off all the worries she was burdened with. The anger in him rose again as he viewed this and the calm façade he hid behind threatened to crumble down. "Atton I think it would be best if you left Alia alone for a while to rest" He said in a voice slightly louder and shorter then he intended.
A look of palpable irritation crossed Attons face as he glared at the younger man. He stepped up off his chair so they were eye level, a challenging tone in his voice as he spoke "Thanks for the advice kid, but I think Alia's big enough to pick her own bed time". His Jedi training could not hold back the rage he felt towards the man in front of him; so cocky and arrogant, he just wanted to wipe that cocky look off his face. "Now see hear Atton" he yelled "Alia has been through quite enough without havi…"
"Thank you Disciple but I'll be fine" The exiles soothing alto voice cut through the tension in the air like a hot knife through butter. "Atton will only stay a while for a few hands of pazzack then it's straight to bed". The disciple nodded sullenly and made his way to the exit. "Yeah kid just a few games of pazzack" Atton added as the Disciple was half way out the door. He walked over to the disciple and leaned over to him and whispered "Nar Shadarr Rules" with a smug look on his face, before promptly slamming the door down in his face.
He stormed off to the cargo hold to be alone, still seething from his encounter with Atton. He sat down in the middle of the room and began meditating. "He is a fool and a murderer, and she still goes to him. You have tried the path of light and goodness and what has it got you? Give in to the darkness, and all you desire shall be yours, all you need do is take it. You know what you must do to save her from him and live happily together."
His eyes snapped open as realization suddenly dawned on him.
"I know what I must do"
A/N: Hear it is my first story published on this site. There may be a sequel in the works depending on what people think of this one. I'm also going to start a KOTOR II story based around the exile from this one, but that also is contingent on how this story is received. I have a sneaking suspicion that my work isn't very good at the moment, so I'm testing the waters with this story. Reviews are appreciated.