On Home Soil
M is taken after a briefing and Bond races to her aid.
This is written in first person and deals with Bond's internal musings about how he actually feels about M since Skyfall.
Note: This is inspired by my Desolation drabbles and a stand alone second act of my story Medea.
Six months after Skyfall. Also I would like to note that in all my stories I consider the character of M to be under 65 years of age, even if the actress playing the character was older by the time of Skyfall in 2012. In this particular story M did not die at Skyfall, the injury was only a superficial hit to the hip.
Tags: first person/cannon typical violence/language/sexual situations.
Chapter 1
I drove to work, listening to the end of a book that I began on my mission. It was a mystery and I had to find out if my hunch on who killed the duchess was correct. It ended just as I turned into the carpark. I was correct and the lover did do it!
I walked into headquarters late, passing through security from the carpark. There was a sense of urgency within the building, meaning that something was up. Perhaps M was just on the warpath for some reason, another international crisis likely.
I will find out in a few hours at my debrief but I'm sure that for once it has nothing to do with me and my mission.
I headed directly to medical as instructed after getting back late from Botswana after spending three weeks in boredom tracking down some stolen arms. I have nothing but a few scratches for once, which makes this trip to medical an unnecessary waste of time.
Tanner was to meet me for a preliminary debrief, something that we had begun doing to prepare me for what kind of mood M was in from my in field reports. Or for him to quickly jot down my verbal report when I had been 'less than professional during my mission', as M said. Tanner usually met me at medical while I was undergoing my mandatory examination that M had insisted that all the 00 agents have, post mission.
Tanner failed to meet me.
I endured the hour of nurses and doctors testing my reflexes and taking blood and then hit the gym. There were people whispering in the halls and stopping the moment I came near.
They looked surprised to see me here and that was troublesome. I was about to ask someone what the hell was going on when I climbed on the treadmill and noticed 005 beside me. "Thomas." I said nodding to him.
"Bond. I'm surprised you're here and not in the midst of this disaster. Then again they don't want our agents lighting up London under these circumstances. I just hope the old gal manages alright."
It was as if a switch went off in my head as I hit the button for the telly on the wall across from the treadmills and the BBC news displayed some sort of incident on the street outside Whitehall. My heart leaping to my throat pounding as if I'd been running on the treadmill for forty minutes.
"M?" Knowing who he meant by 'old gal' I searched the headlines after climbing down from the treadmill. There was an incident and apparently the unnamed female involved was M.
"I know. I've never heard of any department head who can get herself in hot water as fast a M can. Look Bond...I already offered to help but Tanner and Q kicked me out of the office. MI5 is on this as well as about 3 different other agencies, army, police and security for Whitehall."
"So what...we just sit here? Who was she meeting and what the hell happened?"
"From what I overheard from Q, M had just left a meeting with the PM and Minister of Defence after a cabinet session and was headed outside to her car, when the group attacked. Whitehall was locked down tight as a result."
"Tanner wasn't with her?"
"No...dentist apparently."
"I'm going!" I headed for the change rooms and Thomas called out to me. "Wait Bond! I will come as back up."
"Hurray the hell up then! I'm heading up to see Tanner."
He followed me into the change room and hit the shower, while I got quickly dressed. I have to admit that a certain amount of panic was rising within me.
No wonder the office was on edge. M was in the centre of a dangerous situation on home soil and there was nothing we could technically do about it. That sure as hell hasn't stopped me before and it won't now.
I headed up towards the offices, all the while remembering the disaster that was Skyfall. My mind churns with the notion that I will never see her again. Never get to tell her...exactly how I feel about her. M almost dying at Skyfall had changed everything.
I remembered it all in flashes...flashbacks really, as if it were a war. I suppose it was a war of sorts. An old war between Silva and M, and a new one between Silva and me, over M.
I remember the feeling...that dread...fatigue...the smoke...the pain in my lungs...the cold icy water of the loch and the adrenaline from killing Silva. It dissipated the moment she collapsed in my arms. The image of her as she swooned, still bombarded my unfortunate, yet frequent fevered dreams of that night.
The hot sting of tears on my cold face as she seemed to die in my arms. A loss that I had never dreamt of. In all honesty it was more painful than losing Vesper. It echoed the memory of my loss, all those years ago of my parents.
"At least I did one thing right."
I realized then that I loved her like no other woman. She was more than just my domineering boss, she was my father and mentor, she was the only one I ever wanted approval from, if not love. M was never my mother figure...never. That would be far too much murky water to dive into.
If it hadn't been for Q and Tanner sending backup...off the books...she would be dead now and it would have been my bloody fault! I would be going through the motions or on a death mission, trying to cope with the loss of her from my life. But Tanner got her to the Glencoe hospital in time. It had been touch and go for a while but thank god she was strong enough to pull through.
I realized that my feelings for M had changed in those moments at Skyfall, from revered respect for her position as M, to something far closer to love. It was a sudden, yet gradual change really. An oxymoron to be sure, but as she fell into my arms bleeding I began to analyse our past interactions and relationship. The acceptance of these feelings for her did not come easily.
I can honestly say I never expected to fall in love with my boss, or any woman over twenty years my senior but I had. It took the last six months to figure this out. The constant night terrors about losing her at Skyfall and seeing her every day while she recovered falling in love was the only logical reason.
The only problem was that she didn't know. At least I didn't think that she knew. I would have hoped that she would have guessed that the reason I was on short term missions since Skyfall was to stay close to her.
After both of our injuries sustained fighting Silva, I stayed in Scotland with the old man while M convalesced in the highlands. She said that she would rather be there than in London and I agreed. I enjoyed my time there pushing her around the outdoor atrium of the hospital, once she was strong enough and we both were going a little stir crazy.
Only once did she ask me why I stayed beyond the time I required to heal. I let my eyes try to convey what my voice was unable too.
M merely looked down at her hands on her lap, while she sat in the wheelchair. I stared at her with all the longing I felt in my heart. I could have sworn that there was a slight tinge of red in her cheeks after enduring that particularly charged gaze.
Yes of course I was bored...there were only so many card games you could play in a day. The telly never held much interest for M but for the news and that, she said, never told the story behind the story.
I relished in the joy that I was with her and that she lived. That was all that mattered. M never acknowledged the buried lust I tried to convey subtly, through every touch to her skin or gently caress. Anything to have her body up against mine, even if it was only for a fleeting moment.
Was it wrong? The world might find it odd that a woman in her sixties could drive me wild with just the raise of her brow, but those idiots only see the superficial. If they new M...what she did and how she managed herself and her people, they too would fall for her in an instant. M frustrated the hell out of me at times and I'm surely not the only one she's bitched out over the years. However, she had also protected me and all her agents from the same idiots who likely found her a stubborn nuisance.
I was long healed but stayed by her side during her physiotherapy. To encourage her and speed her full recovery and eventual return to work. I really thought that she knew the answer to her question. "Why do you stay babysitting me when you could be back out there, 007?"
Why I was still with her? "I may still be your best agent M but there are many younger agents they deserve a chance now. Besides, Mallory didn't want to pay for your guard." She had laughed at my remark but still looked at me like she was expecting me to divulge more.
We bantered back and forth, which was completely normal for the two of us. Eventually they let us go back to London. Back to our normal lives...apart. M strived to pretend that none of it happened and got back to normal procedures.
What was not normal professional procedure between us, was the fact that I broke into her flat every time I returned from a mission depending on the time. But I didn't last night...something I regret not doing now. I never returned to London until 02:00 this morning and arriving at her flat at that time would have been like signing my own death warrant.
I didn't want to be away from her for extended periods. Three weeks was my absolute limit to go without seeing her. I want to tell her...to say those three words that scare me more than all the bombs and guns in the world. Strange that with all the women I've known, that I'm scared of what M's reaction would be.
I couldn't think of a way to seduce her for the life of me. M's an enigma wrapped in an attractive power suit and able to stare down men twice her size. She's heard me seduce countless women a number of times on missions and I fear that she might consider anything I said, just a line. A standard pick up I used for those women that meant little to me, beyond the information they could give me for M.
Other than Vesper...I don't do relationships, nor sleep around for amusement or a challenge of any kind. I'm not a lady's man but women are attracted to me. I've often wondered if M had ever been...tempted. She's never slipped and given me any indication but for those moments when the life was easing out of her in my family's Kirk.
I had been working on a way to broach the subject of our strange relationship over the past couple of months. I brought her back a gifts...like a peace offerings. Usually, a bottle from duty free to replace all that I helped myself to in her flat.
On one such illustrious return, I was drugged from a cracked rib and I arrived after 23:00. I remember the way her eyes flashed as she stood in her dressing gown, arms crossed letting me have it about injuries and the mission. Damn it if I hadn't desperately wanted to kiss her. The medication made me mumble something of the sort...about how a good kiss would stop her tirade. The shocked look on her face was priceless. She never mentioned it again and I hadn't either. Drugs and alcohol are the ultimate excuse, that and near death experiences so it seemed.
What a relationship the two of us endure. I have a feeling that she knew deep down how I'd felt about her in Glencoe hospital. But to her mind it would be just too outrageous to believe. She never mentioned swooning into my arms and what she said to me after Silva.
M had always been frustratingly stubborn. I believed that M knew I loved her but she wouldn't allow herself to believe what's been right in front of her beautiful face for well over six months now.
I've done everything a man could manage but actually ask her out on a date. I've asked her to the cafe on more than one occasion but she'd always asked for me to bring her back a cup of tea, claiming she was far too busy to be traipsing around on the street to stand in line for; overpriced, burnt tasting, caffeinated water.
The crux of it was, that I'd been flirting with M since the day I met her and I've never stopped. I looked after her in Scotland...Christ...I came back just because her office had been destroyed! The fear I experienced when I thought she might have been killed was much like I was feeling right now.
Finally reaching my destination was a relief from this brooding reflection and my conflicting emotions. Enough of that! I need action, I need her back and damn it, I need her in my arms!
I stormed into the office past Eve Moneypenny and threw open M's office door.
Tanner, Q and Gareth Mallory stood around M's desk looking at report as I barged in and interrupted them.
"Why the hell didn't you call me in?"
"I'm sorry 007 but we've been a tad busy, what with the attack on M. We can go over your mission later." Tanner said snappily.
"Don't be an idiot Tanner you know exactly what I'm talking about! Is she hurt!?"
"She was alive when they took her 007 and this is a matter of national security, outside MI6's purview." Mallory stated as he looked at me with a questioning gaze.
"Bullshit! What do we know? Where is she?" I said directly to Q, knowing that at least he would have some useful intelligence to divulge without much prodding.
"M would have been walking this hallway. I have hacked the CCTV from within Whitehall but they managed to cut the feed from the street outside somehow…"
"Some of Silva's left overs? Anyone else targeted or hurt?" I asked, knowing the expertise that would have been necessary to accomplish this.
"No one hurt and no; all of Silva's are accounted for but they might know the same people because there are similarities." Q stated.
"This is unheard of! Who would target and kidnap the head of MI6? No one is suppose to know who she bloody well is!" Tanner said in frustration. Tanner's guilt for not being with M was obviously getting to him.
"What was she meeting about?" I asked calmly considering the pressure of these circumstances. I needed to focus my dread on something constructive.
"There was a preliminary discussion between M, the head of MI5, C and of course the PM." Tanner added.
"About what?"
"That is need to know only." Mallory added looking serious.
"You know don't you?" I shoot back at him just as serious. It had the desired effect and the man looked down and away from me.
"I've got something!" Q yelled as he looked at his tablet. He pointed to the larger screen that came to life, just as Thomas entered the room with Moneypenny. I nod to them both as Mallory frowned.
"Mr. Mallory...we all care about her and we want to help." Eve added crossing her arms and leaning against M's desk as Q worked out the connection and began to play M walking from the office of the security minister in the corridors of Whitehall.
Although, walking would be a tame description of the way M bounced purposefully from the room. The images from above giving a rather spectacular view of M's cleavage. Damn I loved the way she thumbed her nose at age appropriate clothing. Her business attire was professional, without being dowdy and very attractively tailored for her short curvy figure.
M was speaking animatedly to the younger man walking beside her. It was hard not to laugh at the man trying to keep up with her.
"M is not amused with...whoever...this new C is, that is certain." Q stated and Eve had to cover the laugh with a sudden cough.
"Yes." Mallory paused and then added. "That is Max Denbigh...C, from MI5."
C looked at M with a smirk and then suddenly they both stopped and looked towards the end of the hall. Max...C began to walk back the other way as M remained there, frozen to the spot until her driver approached and collected her, taking her out of the cctv feed.
Once outside the building on the street, M suddenly grabbed her arm as if stung, staring straight ahead. A masked man rushed to her and scooped her up in his arms. He ran with M down the street, turning into a blind alley and then they lost image.
"What's down that alley Mallory?" Thomas asked.
"There's a delivery lane and usually there would be security and video on that side of the building. Q look to the other outside feeds. The rest of the meeting with foreign delegates was to be at the Savoy and I was going to meet her there later for the luncheon."
"Do you have any other shots Q?" I asked trying to not sound as desperate as I felt inside.
"I've been trying. I have one from another angle but it only shows the emergency vehicles arriving.
"Do any of them leave?" Mallory and Bond ask at the same time.
Q paused and typed some more. Thomas look perplexed. "That was how Silva escaped the courtroom, months back." Mallory added.
"Yes! One of them left from that alley next to M's car." Q stated.
"The BBC is assuming it was an attack to try to get the PM." Tanner stated.
"It looks like they were targeting M as far as I'm concerned." Thomas said with a frown.
"Did C get out?" Mallory asked.
"Not that I can find." Q answered. "The ambulance that left went to towards the Savoy and turned around in their entrance. Paused only for a moment and blank air...then left back towards Parliament."
"I'm headed to the Savoy." I said to them as I pulled a comm from my pocket and placed it in my ear.
"You will never get close! There is already security there and likely on high alert after the attack near Whitehall." Mallory added quickly. "Just let MI5 handle this Bond!"
I shot him a look that summed up everything I'm feeling at the moment and Thomas said suddenly. "Come on Bond, I'll drive you."
Thankfully, not only I, had a loyalty to the woman who pulled the strings on our behalf to the rest of the intelligence community.
I turned slightly to Mallory as we left. "Obviously they've let something fall through the cracks, as M was the only one taken, it appears that she was the intended target."
"I don't disagree. And Bond...it looks like she was not the only sentimental one." Mallory said appraising me. He had said that to her after my failed test results came in before the disaster at Skyfall.
"Why would anyone attack the better defended place first?" Tanner asked confused, bringing us all back into focus. "I mean it still worked but they did grab her from the street not Whitehall itself but wouldn't the Savoy have been the easier target?"
"I think you and Mallory should find C and ask him that very question." I said as 005 and I leave on our rescue mission. Tanner had a point. Why didn't they wait until at the Savoy for the meeting, unless they didn't care, or didn't realize the hotel was the next stop for her and not back to MI6.
Immediately after we departed Q clicked in on my comm and Thomas nodded as he put his on also. Thomas wove in and out of traffic towards the Savoy. The police had many streets closed and that made it all frustratingly difficult.
Eventually I slammed my hands on the dash. "Let me out here! I'll run."
Q was in my ear with Moneypenny and Tanner's excited voices saying that M was found being dragged into a hotel suite on the 5th floor of the Savoy. They managed to gather video feed to prove it."
"I'll park the car and follow." Thomas said as I hit the ground running.
"Why on earth would they take her to the hotel where she was headed for a meeting? This doesn't make any sense?" Tanner said in my earpiece.
"Q should look into reasons Tanner." I panted as I jogged down the street. "I don't really care about the why. I just care about getting her back alive."
To be continued...