Law & Order: SVU – Unfortunately, There's The Rub
(Sequel to A Pretty Smile Is My Doom) Carisi and Dodds are not the best at keeping secrets
Rollins sighed deeply and threw a paper ball at a distracted Carisi, who started and frowned at her.
"What!" – he demanded. She raised her eyebrows and motioned him over. Dutifully, or too used to having sisters bossing him around, he slid over to her side without much thought.
"If you don't stop staring at Dodds, the cats gonna be out of the bag in no time" – she told him with a little smirk that made him his ears turn red.
"I don't know what you're talking about" – he tried to brush it off but she snorted and flipped her ponytail in a smooth motion.
"Right, because I was born yesterday, dumbass. C'mon, even Barba knows"
"Bar–Barba? What're you talking about?"
"Dodds? Mike Dodds? Our sergeant?"
"Yeah?"
"Guy you went undercover with? Same guy you made out with in an alleyway?"
"To catch a perp!" – Carisi cried even as his cheeks reddened at the memory of Dodds pressing against him, and how they had spent the rest of that night.
"Oh yeah, 'cause I'm buying that. The only reason Liv hasn't called you two to her office is because she doesn't want to deal with the paperwork. Or, you know, Dodds' dad"
"There's nothing to 'deal' with" – Carisi whispered harshly – "Dodds is just– He's our sergeant, that's all there is to it!"
The look Rollins gave him was equal parts pitying his pea brain and judging his poor excuses. Carisi had to concede that them coming to work in each other's shirts the day before might have given people an impression of their, ah, relationship, as it were.
"Don't blame me if Liv calls you up to yell at you for being an idiot"
"Liv doesn't yell"
"Tell me that when she catches you guys hooking up in the interrogation room"
"We–! I would never–!" – Carisi turned into a tomato and somehow managed to get back to his table before Rollins started laughing at him.
"What's so funny?" – Fin questioned as he swaggered into the room with a coffee in hand and Dodds just a couple of steps behind him.
"Oh, nothing, just Carisi being Carisi" – Rollins easily explained, and winked at the seasoned Detective, who turned very deliberately at Carisi, then the blinking Dodds.
"Right..." – he stretched out the word to such a degree even Dodds looked uncomfortable.
Carisi and Dodds traded a look and silently agreed not to go anywhere near one another for the rest of the day.
Naturally, a high profile case suddenly fell onto their laps just after lunchtime, and when Liv barked out orders and paired Rollins and Fin, and Carisi and Dodds, no one had even a moment to think about anything else other than the murdered sixteen year old that had been found with her pregnant belly sliced open and her baby nowhere to be found.
The case wasn't difficult to solve, and by the time the baby daddy's parents were arrested with enough evidence to make Barba grin like the cat that got the canary as he stood beside a relieved Liv and a smug Dodds Sr., Carisi was a tad too tired to even remember the brief conversation he had with Rollins that very morning.
Until Liv sweetly called him and Dodds to her office. The men shrugged and did as told, though they were startled at the sight of Dodds Sr. at Liv's.
"Sir?" – Dodds Jr. questioned curiously.
"Lieutenant Benson has brought a little issue to my attention that I thought I should take the time to address, since I'm in the neighborhood" – the older man began, standing tall and powerful and all too... Dad–like for Carisi's tastes.
"Look, guys, you don't have to pretend, we know, everyone knows" – Liv continued, smiling indulgently.
"Know what?" – Carisi squawked.
"About you two" – Dodds Sr. pointed at both of them with a smirk – "Now, I can't say I'm surprised, Carisi is kind of your general taste–"
"Dad!" – Dodds exclaimed, sounding scandalized enough to forget his typical impeccable professionalism.
"What? He is. Pretty, blond, slim... Honestly, I thought for sure you'd go for Rollins, but the heart wants what the heart wants, huh, son?"
"Er, Liv, look, I'm not sure what you guys think is going on between sarge and me–" – Carisi attempted as the Dodds started a whispered but heated discussion that left no room for other participants.
"Carisi, it's okay. I mean, am I going to enjoy the paperwork that this little situation is going to generate? No, I'm not, but since you'll have to fill some of it as well, I guess I can't be too upset. Besides, this song and dance's getting old" – she interrupted with a kind but teasing expression.
"Lieutenant–"
"–tell mom!" – Carisi turned to Dodds, who was looking quite unlike his usual unflappable self.
"Ah, too late, I already have, and you better take Carisi, or it's on both of us, and I would prefer not to sleep on the couch, son, it's lumpy and it does a number on my back–"
"That's not the point– I'm not just gonna take Carisi–!" – he stopped when he finally noticed Carisi and Liv staring at them – "I mean..."
"You two work it out, but you know your mom's gonna start hounding you to come over if you don't call her to set a date"
"Dad–"
"If RH gives you any grief, let me know, Lieutenant"
"Will do, sir"
"Now, you all did a fine job with the Marks case, you should take a breather" – he eyed his son – "Call your mother" – and before Dodds Jr. could say more on the subject, he swept away from Liv's office like a little hurricane.
"Well, I will hand you the appropriate paperwork as soon as possible, fill them out, but don't take your time, I'd like to resolve this swiftly" – Liv stated, sitting on her chair. She gave them a look – "Don't you have more important things to do?"
They left in a daze and returned to their tables. Barba was still hanging about, reviewing some information with Fin and Rollins, who'd been the ones to capture Catherina Marks' murderers, and he snorted at their stunned faces.
"Liv give you a lecture on dating in the workplace?" – he mused amusedly.
"Yeah, dad, mom's already talked to us about it" – Carisi mumbled into the ceiling.
"Why, Detective, that's just asking for trouble now" – Barba said silkily, dangerously. Carisi paused and looked at the older man and gulped.
"Sorry, sir, I'm a little... Tired. Sorry"
"I'll let it pass this one time because you actually did a good job on this case, but do remember that I will not let it pass if there's a next time"
"There won't be"
"There better not be. Now, if you'll excuse me" – he nodded politely at the everyone and headed to Liv's office.
"So, they give you any grief about you two?" – Fin asked as soon as Barba entered Liv's.
"I don't know what you're talking about" – Carisi answered with a frown.
"You two?" – he motioned to Dodds as well – "Dating? And trying very poorly to hide it?"
"We're not dating" – Carisi and Dodds answered at the same time, making Fin gag and Rollins snort.
"If you insist on being so cutesy, I don't know why you think you can hide it from us" – Rollins commented with an eye roll – "Embrace it, Liv's okay with it, and no one's bleeding, so I guess Dodds Sr. is too. Even Barba doesn't care!"
"Why would HE care?" – Carisi asked.
"Anything that would jeopardize a case, he'd care about" – Rollins retorted.
"Fair enough. And again, Dodds and I aren't–" – the sergeant's phone started ringing and he picked it up with a deep sigh.
"Ma, hey. What?" – he shot Carisi a look and whirled around in his chair – "No, dad's wrong" – he hissed, still loud enough for the others to hear him – "No, I'm not dating someone at– Ma– Ma! Mom, c'mon! No, I– It's not like that! What? How would you know– Oh my God, dad sent you a picture–! Damnit!"
"I take it Mama Dodds knows about you two?" – Rollins pointed at Dodds' back and then at the blushing Carisi.
"... What should I bring to dinner?" – he said quietly, under Dodds' continuous call.
"Not a homemade cake, you suck at baking" – Fin winked playfully. Rollins chuckled with him then turned more serious.
"No really, don't do it, Carisi, you don't wanna be the guy that poisons your boyfriend's family"
"He's not my–" – Dodds' groan and sigh interrupted them and the man looked harassed as he turned to Carisi.
"Can you do dinner Friday?" – he demanded.
"... Yes?"
"He can do Friday, ma" – Dodds returned to his call – "Yes, I'll tell him. Ma! Yes, he eats meat! What? Owen was NOT vegan! You just thought he was–! Ma!"
"Huh. Dinner at the Dodds" – Fin mused.
"God bless you" – Rollins finished solemnly.
"You guys suck" – Carisi retorted with a huff.