Pokémon Spoof: Birthday Edition
Okay. As you may already know, Lotusblossom1287 and I have a series of Pokémon spoofs. And yes, that latest one with the Chatots was my work, but now I finally have a Fanfiction account.
This spoof is half gut-busting laughter mechanism, half gut-busting laughter B-day present.
That's right. It's OUR FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY!
And we -I- would like to present you with the B-DAY Edition!
P.S. The word Pokémon is in the Microsoft Word dictionary, with the accent mark and everything!!!!!!!
Happiny Birthday!
…
You don't get it? Like, Happiny? The Pokémon? You know, the prevolved version of Chansey? Happiny? Happy? Like, the- OH FORGET IT! Happy Birthday!
WOOTAGE!
For the B-day edition, the story will include plots of random Pokémon games.
Announcer guy: Today, Lotusblossom1287 and her-
Me: WAIT A GUT-BUSTIN' MINUTE!
Announcer guy: What?
Me: This is my story! I want to be in it!
Announcer guy: Okayyyyy…
Announcer guy: Today, awesomer-and-smarter-than Lotusblossom1287-Trainer WiteWing Travels into random Pokémon games.
Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald
Oak: Now WiteWing, I want you to chose very carefully.
Me: Okay… Um… The red one?
Oak: Nice choice! Now that we're done picking which tie I should wear, let's get to choosing your Pokémon. Now remember, it is a decision that should last your whole life long. Be careful, chose wisely. Take as much time as you need-
Me: SQUIRTLE!!!!!!!
Oak: You can't get Squirtle in Emerald…?
Me: But I neeeeed it! Our friend that is the B-day person is supposed to be a Squirtle! I need her to be in the story!
Oak: I'm sorry, WiteWing, but I can't give you one. You have to pick a Torchick, Mudkip, or Treeko.
Me: *glare*
Oak: Please don't glare at me.
Me: *glare*
Oak: It's very unsettling.
Me: *glare*
Oak: Really, I don't-
Me: *mugs Oak of the Squirtle in his pocket and runs*
Me: Okay! Come on out, Squirtle!
Unnamed Squirtle: Squirtle!
Me: I dub you Gottabesomebody!
Gottabesomebody: Yay! Now I can talk!
Me: Woot! Now that you're part of our story, lets move on!
Fire Red and Leaf Green
Both of us: I''M ON MY WAY TO VIRIDIAN CITY!!!!!!!!
Me: We're here! In Viridian City!
Gottabesomebody: Man, this is one UGLY place.
Me: You got that right.
Gottabesomebody: …Wanna crash this poor excuse of a place?
Me: You just read my mind!
Gottabesomebody: And I'm not even a Psychic Pokémon!
One super frenzied crashing later…
Me: Score! We managed to make some weird guy cry by making fun of his spearow's name –Speary-, jacked a television from some creepy old geezer yelling "I NEED MY COFFEE!" and stuffed a fat guy so full of food that he fell asleep and didn't wake up, even when we left!
Gottabesomebody: Yeah! Hey, what do you- ACK!
Me: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! What's happening?!
Mystery Dungeon (Red and Blue mixed with Time and Darkness)
Me: Gottabesomebody? Are you okay?
Gottabesomebody: Yeah. Are you? What happened?
Me: I'm good. I don't know…
Gottabesomebody: It's really dark… Oh, I've got a match.
Gottabesomebody: *takes box of matches from inside her shell and strikes one against it*
Me: What else do you have in that shell of yours?
Gottabesomebody: Um…
Gottabesomebody: *rumbles around in her shell*
Gottabesomebody: A half-drunken Orange Juice carton, a box of matches, a stack of rare Pokémon cards, some mint-chocolate fudge, a Swiss army knife, three bottles of Moo Moo Milk, some caramel truffles, my dog Coco, and, let's see… A PUPPY SIZED-ELEPHANT WEARING NERD GLASSES AND BEING RIDDEN BY AN ABUNDANCE OF KATHERINES?!
Me: Nerd jokes, nerd jokes!
Gottabesomebody: *gets match going*
Both look around.
Me: WTF?!
Gottabesomebody: WTOJ (What the Orange Juice)?!
Me: Why are you the same height as me?!
Gottabesomebody: Because you're a Skitty!
Me: WTF WTF WTF?!
Gottabesomebody: Don't worry! It's no use freaking out over!
Me: What? I'm not freaking out over that! I wanted to be a Gardevoir! I'm all pink! Though my tail does make a nice swishing sound…
*Stuffy-looking Chatot comes over*
Chatot: Hello. I am Wigglytuff's, the Leader of the Wigglytuff's Guild, right hand man. You two look like excellent specimens for the guild, and-
Gottabesomebody: *knees him in the groin, punches his face, and jumps up and down on him on the ground*
Gottabesomebody: I…*gasp*…really…*gasp*…hate…*gasp*…Chatots…
Me: You go, um, Squirtle!
Gottabesomebody: Now what?
Me: How 'bout we-
A Gengar, Medicham, Ekans and Dusknoir pass by playing four-way patty cake.
Gottabesomebody: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Me: It's possible. But only if you're thinking what I'm thinking what you're thinking.
Gottabesomebody: Well, that's only if you're thinking what I'm thinking what you're thinking what I'm thinking.
Me: Are you saying that you're thinking that I'm thinking that you're thinking that I'm thinking what you're thinking?
Gottabesomebody: Well, I'm thinking that we should play patty cake.
Me: OMG, ME TOO!
They both play patty cake until A HUGE FISSURE opens up in the ground and swallows them up.
Ranger (Regular and Shadows of Almia)
Gottabesomebody: What happened?
Me: Did it work?! Am I a Gardevoir, now?!
Gottabesomebody: No.
Me: #$&^*8%!!!!!!!
Gottabesomebody: …You really wanna be a Gardevoir, don't you?
Me: *still frantically cursing*
Gottabesomebody: The good news is, you're a human again!
Me: Yaya!
Gottabesomebody: Yaya?
Me: Yaya!
Gottabesomebody: Okay…
Me: Hey! Look at that sign!
They go over and read the sign on the tree trunk she is pointing at.
Me: *reads out loud*
Pokémon Ranger School
Classes on how to be a Ranger, Operator or Mechanic!
Start today, free with the coupon below!
WiteWing pulls the last two coupons from an old, tattered coupon book below the sign.
Me: It says on the coupon that classes start today, at one o'clock! What time is it?
Gottabesomebody: *pulls a travel clock out of her shell*
Me: That clock wasn't one of the things you mentioned before.
Gottabesomebody: It must have been behind that puppy-sized elephant wearing nerd glasses and being ridden by an abundance of Katherines.
Me: Nerd jokes, nerd jokes!
Gottabesomebody: Anyway, It's twelve o'clock.
Me: Okay, we've got an hour to kill if you want to go to that school.
Gottabesomebody: Are you kidding?! I've always wanted to wear a Ranger uniform!
Me: Um, sorry, but I think you'll have to be my Partner Pokémon. I think only humans can be Rangers.
Gottabesomebody: DANG!!!!!
Me: Sorry. How 'bout I use the hour to sew you a Squirtle Ranger Uniform?
Gottabesomebody: I want it to be
One hour later…
Me: Okay! It's done!
Gottabesomebody: I look so cool! Well?
Me: Well, what?
Gottabesomebody: Where's the Squirtle Ranger Capture Styler?
Me: How did you know I made one?
Gottabesomebody: I can sense what belongs to me. Like that anklet you're wearing, the one with the Squirtle charms on it. Nice design with the fake Squirtle Ranger Styler. I like how the Capture piece looks like a piece of candy corn.
Me: Wait, what about my anklet?!
Gottabesomebody: *is too busy doing Ranger Pose's with her outfit and styler to reply*
Me: Now, let's get to those classes!
Me: *dons her own white Ranger Outfit and white Styler with a little pair of white wings for the Capture Piece she made*
Both head to the school.
A very, very, very old man, a nice young woman, and a hairstyle challenged man come up to them.
Old man: Welcome to our Ranger School!
Young Woman: I'm one of the teachers!
Weird Hair Guy: I HATE EVERYONE!!!!
Me: Okay… I'm WiteWing and I want to be a Ranger. This is Gottabesomebody, my Squirtle, and I want her to be my Partner Pokémon when I'm a Ranger.
Gottabesomebody: I can talk.
Old man: OMG!!!!!!
Young woman: *faints*
Weird Hair Guy: *reveals himself in his true identity as an evil guy*WITH THIS TALKING SQUIRTLE, I CAN RULE THE WORLD! I WILL BE RECONIZED AS TEAM DIM SUN'S TRUE LEADER AND-
Me: Gottabesomebody! Use Mistake For A Chatot Attack!
Gottabesomebody: DIE!!!!!!!!!
In a frenzy of mistaking for Chatot fury, Gottabesomebody cuts, bruises, and in other ways mortally injures him, until the final assault happens- RUINING HIS STUPID HAIRSTYLE.
Evil Weird Hair Guy: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
And so our heroes in the midst of weird events saved the day. The teacher made them rangers and gave them large bags of candy corn.
Pokémon!
We're real weird goofs who like Pokémon!
Who make weird spoofs about Pokémon!
Pokémon rules!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!