Year One:
"All Over Again"
First Month:
He can't believe his eyes. Right there in front of him, in the elevator, stands the woman he's hated, loved, hated, and loved. Right there with her back to him, she got in looking down at her blackberry and never saw him. He searched for years to find her after she ran with their daughter. And when his little girl showed up a teenage hellion, he forgot about the woman standing ahead of him. Could he ignore her? Should he follow her and tell her how much he hates her on is it hated? Does that deep, consuming hatred still exist? His eyes skim over her body when the man between them shifts to the side. She has been working out. Her body is slimmer than he remembered. The muscles in her calves ripple as she shifts her weight one foot to the other. Her hips move and he can't help but remember the feel of her, the sound of her throaty moan or the husky sound of his name during their love play. The elevator stops and several passengers get off leaving him a better view. Her hair is shorter, like it was after she found out about Transglobal, but it's still that silky, blond halo that was so sexy lying tasseled on a pillow.
The elevator stops again, she looks to see what floor, and then exits. He reacts without thinking. He stops the closing doors and follows her down the hall. When she rounds the corner, he peeks around to see if she stops. Once she steps into a room, he walks to the door. A penthouse. That figures, she always wanted the best. He stands outside the door, unable to knock. Why am I afraid? He thinks. I won, our daughter came to me. She knows it. I have nothing to prove. What if she's not alone? What do I care if I interrupt something? I can leave and she will never know. He starts to walk away and stops. He turns towards the door again. What do I have to rush home to? Krystal is with Tad and their daughter. Plus Kate. She turned from me finally when I kept Kate from him. JR is busy with Babe and little A. Stuart and Marian are happier than ever. He shudders a little out of habit over Marian and his brother. I have nothing really anymore. Colby may have come home to me but she's turned out to not need me like the rest of my children. He walks back to her door. A knock won't hurt anything.
After stepping inside she pours a glass of scotch and turns on the radio.
When I said I needed you,
You said you would always stay.
It wasn't me who changed, but you.
And now you've gone away.
Nothing is left. She thinks as she pours her second glass in as many minutes. Scotch doesn't even have flavor. This façade of no nonsense, ball-buster female exec is getting old. I'm not needed. All of my affairs are in order. I've lost everything, my daughter, my mother, my sister, myself. All of this time, my life has been a waste. Have I contributed anything but pain and suffering? Have I had love?
But don't you know
And now you're gone.
And I'm left her on my own.
Now I have to follow you,
And beg you to come home.
Given love? Sex, yes. But love? My beautiful baby girl was love. I didn't even know she was unhappy. I wonder if she is now. She had friends, was the top of her class. Then wham! Like everyone else she was gone.
You don't have to say you love me,
Just be close at hand.
You don't have to stay forever,
I will understand.
Believe me, believe me
I can't help but love you,
But believe me; I'll never tie you down.
She pours another glass and slips her shoes off. No one will miss me.
Left alone with just a memory,
Life seems dead and so unreal.
All that's left is loneliness.
There's nothing left to feel.
One night, the last night, tonight. After downing another glass, she slips her jacket off then unzips her skirt.
You don't have to say you love me,
Just be close at hand.
You don't have to stay forever,
I will understand.
Believe me, oh believe me
There is a knock at the door. She rezips it and opens the door without looking to see who it is.
You don't have to say you love me,
Just be close at hand.
You don't have to stay forever,
I will understand.
Believe me, oh believe me
Believe me.
There he stands the last person on earth she thought would knock on her door. What could he possibly want? How did he find me? Fear runs through her body like ice water. "Colby? Is Colby ok? Is she hurt? What's wrong?" Panic fills her.
"She's fine. Nothing is wrong with her." He is a little taken aback from her reaction to seeing him. He didn't expect her to think he was there because of Colby. He should have, she is her mother. He watches her place her hand on her heart in relief. "She's fine." He motions inside and she steps out of his way closing the door behind him. Every bit of hatred dissolves and her love as a mother and the fears remind him of before Colby was born. She was so vulnerable.
"Can I get you a drink?" She says non-emotionally.
"Yes. Scotch." She pours him a glass and another for herself. They stand in silence, drinking. "How have you been?" He asks at the same time she asks.
"What do you want?"
"I saw you in the elevator. You got in and didn't see me."
"Oh. I've been ok." He watches her pour another glass. She holds up the bottle, questioningly. He shakes his head then looks around the penthouse. It reminds him of Erica's.
"Do you have a good view?" He asks looking out at the balcony.
"Not bad."
"Do you live here?"
"One week a month. Is this twenty questions?" He watches her finish the scotch. What now? He asks himself trying to find a way out of this but not wanting to leave.
"No. Can I?" He points to the balcony. She walks towards the doors and they step out into the cool night air. He walks to the wall and looks out over the city. Why did I knock? What am I doing here? He turns to look at her. "Join me." She wrinkles her brow.
"You plan to push me over. " She accuses. He can't help but laugh. She knows him well enough to know at least his original reason for being there was to ream her out.
"No. I won't." She steps closer but away from him. They stand there for a while when he realizes that she is shivering. "Here." He takes off his jacket and drapes it around her shoulders and looks down at her bare feet. He once again marvels at her vulnerability.
"Thanks." This is weird. Is he here for…what is he here for? Is this a test, a punishment, a sign? He needs to leave. Maybe this is fate giving me a last goodbye. She hears Return to Innocence begin to play inside.
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself.
Lost in her own thoughts, she turns to go back inside pulling his coat around her.
The Return to Innocence.
He follows. He grabs her elbow to turn her around.
"I don't know why I came here. There are many things I've wanted to say to you over the past few years." She nods, not making eye contact.
"You should say them now. Get it over with; you'll never have another chance."
Love-Devotion
Feeling-Emotion
Love-Devotion
Feeling-Devotion
"They are not important anymore." She shrugs. Well, I gave him a chance. She thinks. He reaches up to her shoulder and lightly pulls on the coat to take it back.
Don't be afraid to be weak.
Don't be too proud to be strong.
Just look into your heart my friend.
That will be the return to yourself.
The return to innocence.
With his other hand, he brushes her hair back forcing her to look up. He drops the coat and pulls her to him. His lips are warm with a slight taste of alcohol.
If you want, then start to laugh.
If you must, then start to cry.
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.
Her body gives over completely to his caressing hands. The slight draft makes him notice that his shirt is off. Her tongue probes eagerly into his mouth and teases his.
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Don't care what people say
Follow just your own way
Follow just your own way.
She stumbles a bit when they run into the bed. They both break their kiss. He reaches back to unhook her bra because he has unknowingly removed her shirt in the living room and her skirt fell somewhere near the door.
Don't give up, don't give up
To return, to return to innocence.
If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself don't hide.
Just believe in destiny.
She pushes his slacks to the floor as he drops her bra next to them. He leans down taking a nipple in his mouth. She presses to him sinking her hands into his hair. He switches to suckling her other nipple as his hand caresses the one he just surrendered. He stands back up and claims her mouth. Somehow they find their way under the covers with no more material barriers. She groans and bites her bottom lip as he thrust into her. With each thrust, she cries out more. The thing that drives him to his peak is his name cried out in lustful explosion. He can't quit entering her until his muscles relax. She comes back to herself and can smell his scent permeation the air around her. It is familiar and yet not. After a few minutes, he moves off of her and lies next to her. His hand stays on her bare stomach. They doze off.
Adam wakes with Liza in his arms. He watches her sleep. He looks over at the clock. He only slept a couple of hours. Liza snuggles closer in her sleep. She's almost like an angel like this. He thinks over their passion from a few hours ago. And can't help bringing her hand to his lips. Moving her hand from his chest rouses her. She opens her eyes. When he starts to speak, she presses her fingers to his lips. He remembers why he was attracted to her as she slips up his body to kiss him lazily. He helps her leg move over him. She settles herself straddling him. He pulls her down for a kiss. Her breasts press against him. His arousal happens quick. She smiles breaking their kiss and sits up. She raises her hips using his chest to balance, then lowers herself onto him. He grabs her hands holding her steady. "Oh, Liza." He moves his hips up as she presses down. He can't take his eyes off of her as she rides the waves of passion. He watches her body move with his thrusts until it shudders in ecstasy followed by his. She collapses on top of him after they disengage. He holds her damp, warm body to him. She leaves kisses along his chest and throat. When she lays her head on his chest, he kisses her forehead. When his breathing steadies, she slips off him and watches him sleep.
Why him? Why was he the one who came to me? Last night I was ready. No one will really miss me. There is no one left to care whether I'm dead or alive. Why did he come to me and give me a reason to last a little longer. Making love to him, sex with him makes me feel alive in the moment. I finally found love, learned how to love and be loved and lost it in an instant. I have all of this knowledge and passion and no one to share it with. Will this be the last time? Is Adam going to be the last man? Can I last another month at home? Before I return here? Will the next time I stay here be the end? Will Adam turn out to be my final end? Adam shifts and turns his head away from her. So many good and bad memories wrapped up in him. So much fun and hurt in life with him. It would be best to ask him to leave but can I make it through the rest of the night. She sighs trying to hold back the tears, unsuccessfully. Adam wakes to her sniffles. He turns away towards her and sits up on one elbow. "Liza?" He wipes away her falling tears. "What's wrong? Did I…"
"No. I'm sorry. I…" She leans into him and he holds her as she begins to sob. She wears herself out crying and emptying her emotional overload. He leans back and wipes her eyes dry.
"There were barely a handful of times you let me hold you while you cried when we were together." She shakes her head.
"Let's not talk about the past." Her fingers trace his jaw. "Just make love to me again." Adam leans in pushing her back. For the third time, they reach the peak of passion. Her tears dried and thoughts subsided, he takes her a forth and then a fifth as the sun rises on a new day.
Adam wakes to music playing and the smell of coffee.
Seems like just yesterday,
You were a part of me.
I use to stand so tall,
I use to be so strong.
Your arms around me tight,
Everything it felt so right.
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong.
He stretches and rubs his eyes, then looks to the clock. She has left him a toothbrush on the nightstand and his clothes are hung on a hanger hooked on the chair.
Now I can't breathe,
No I can't sleep.
I'm barely hangin' on.
He stands up and dresses before going into the bathroom to freshen up.
Here I am, once again.
I'm torn into pieces.
Can't deny, can't pretend.
Just thought you were the one.
Broken up, deep inside.
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,
Behind these hazel eyes.
He can hear her cooking before walking out into the living room. Liza is standing facing away from him in the kitchen.
Swallow me, then spit me out.
For hating you, I blame myself.
Seeing you it kills me now.
No I don't cry on the outside, anymore.
She wipes her face and he realizes that she is crying. He steps up behind her and holds her close.
Here I am, once again.
I'm torn into pieces.
Can't deny, can't pretend.
Just thought you were the one.
Broken up, deep inside.
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,
Behind these hazel eyes.
She hangs her head down then tries to push him away gently.
Here I am, once again.
I'm torn into pieces.
Can't deny, can't pretend.
Just thought you were the one.
Broken up, deep inside.
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,
Behind these hazel eyes.
He steps back and walks over to turn off the radio. "No more music." He takes the plate of food she offers with a small smile. "It makes you cry." She can't help but laugh a little. They go through breakfast with minimal talking except for asking for butter or more coffee. After the dishes are washed, Adam puts on his coat. "Liza…" She holds up her hand.
"No have a safe trip home, Adam." He wants to step over to her, to hold her. "I have to pack and get on the road, too." Unable to find the words, he smiles and walks out of the penthouse.
Adam walks back into the mansion in his own little world, not noticing JR. "Dad!" He says loudly to get his attention.
"What? What are you doing here?" He pours himself a drink, slightly angry that JR interrupted his mental recap of last night.
"Good to see you, too. I came to talk to you about my future. I've decided to go back to PVU."
"Why? I got you a degree."
"Yes, I know but Babe and I were thinking about little A and I decided I want to earn the degree."
"Fine, you don't need me permission." Adam takes another sip of scotch.
"I know but you wanted me to help you get Chandler Enterprises back from Zach."
"Do what is best for you; I'm a little distracted now. I'll do it myself or build from scotch." JR is confused, but he shrugs and leaves Adam to himself. Should I tell Colby that I saw Liza? She and I never talked about Liza. Liza and I didn't talk about Colby. We didn't talk much at all. He smiles to himself. I'll probably never see her again. But she did say she stays there once a month. Maybe… What am I thinking? It was a one night stand. Not one time, he smiles again, but one night. There was something different in her, though. She is not the same; there is sadness in her.
Liza has been home for hours, giving straight to her home office. Her own private sanctuary. She goes through all of her emails, faxes, mail, and spreadsheets. The sun goes down and she continues until her eyes get tired. She looks up to see him standing in the doorway. "You need sleep, Love." She leans back in her chair and smiles.
"You always say that." He walks to her desk. She gets lost in his brown eyes.
"And will until you listen, come to bed. The day is over." She looks down at the time and then back up to the door. He is gone.
"I'm not going to get anything else done." She shuts down her laptop and put the files in order on her desk. She stretches and heads up to bed.