One shot fic. About Lily and James.

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

No matter how hard I try, it just never seems to be enough for her. I tried to be nice with her. I just got insults. I tried to help her. I just got more insults.

I love her. I can't say I don't But why doesn't she see that? Lately I've been feeling eager to tell Lily that she isn't all that perfect. I'm getting tiered of insults.

And she only sees what's bad in me. She doesn't believe I've changed. Yesterday I asked her out. She started yelling at me telling me that I'm a jerk and an ego-centric bastard. Then she looked at me waiting.

She was waiting for me to apologise.

I didn't. That took her off by surprise!

I can't understand Lily. Really!

She's called a "you know what" and doesn't react! It's so…stupid!

God, I don't get her! And just because I ask her out, and she get's all freaked out!

It's starting to annoy me this "Hate-James-Potter" thing.

Why can't she see I love her? Why?

I've been after her for years. I've told her I love her a million times. I offered roses, sent her Valentine gifts and cards. I've declared my self in front of the school. And I got nothing.

Not a smile, not even a look. Only despise, insults and humiliation.

I try. Oh, hell I try. I try to please her.

I try to change my self.

But she wants always more. She wants me to be something I'm not.

She want's to take me from my friends. I know. I asked her.

"I've changed all I am for you! What else do you want! To me a saint? To me a role model? To quit my friends?"

"You can never change, James Potter, because no matter how hard you try to hide it, there's always something above everything. That's Black, Lupin and Pettigrew! You're so big around them. Without them. You'd be nothing!"

I can't and I won't.

Lily will love me for what I am. I know she will.

But until them, right now, sorry seems to be the hardest word to tell her.

Because I'm not. I'm not sorry for loving her…

R&R