A/N: Yep, it's another GS:TLA fic from me. Felix and Piers refuse to give Harry and Draco their handcuffs back until they've had their fill, so I suppose I have to indulge them. Le sigh. Anyway, this fic grew out of my obsession with reading cheesy romance novels and the little bit of fanon that claims that Piers reads Lemurian love poetry. From this came this slightly insane plot bunny, which I hope other people will find as amusing as I do.

As always, Piers x Felix. Warped Mudshipping Love. If you flame my pairing, I will roast you. Because I'm nice like that.

Disclaimer: I don't own GS, GS:TLA, or the title of the novel in this chapter. In fact, any and all romance novel titles used in this fic are real. What is NOT real is the contents of any of the novels. I have never read any of them, and have no idea what they're about, so I made stuff up. But the titles are real. I swear it. Anyway, I'm poor, so don't sue me.

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Chapter I -- Blow Me Down

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Felix sometimes worried that near-immortality had a profound effect on one's sanity. Case in point- Piers of Lemuria, owner and technically captain of their ship. Sailor, fighter, Adept, friend, far too attractive for Felix's peace of mind, and most certainly insane. That was all there was for it.

Absolutely crazy. Felix assessed, his eyes roaming over the shelf in front of him. He had been spending an increased amount of time reading his way through the small library that Piers kept on his ship, due to the increased amount of rain they'd been experiencing. The books were largely historical texts or some form of Alchemy research notes that had been bound into books. A few novels, both from Lemuria as well as older tales from the rest of Weyard. Felix had found he rather enjoyed reading them- they bore striking similarities to stories that had been told to him when he was a child, and he wondered if they weren't actually the same things, just passed down so far that they had been changed along the way.

In any case, the books had kept his mind occupied during the monotonous days at sea. So occupied in fact that he found, by the end of the week, that he had read through all the books on board. When Felix realized this, he had immediately begun to scour the ship for more, refusing to simply lie back and allow boredom to overtake him. Or worse- appear unoccupied and get roped into helping his sister with some ridiculous scheme (it was really quite amazing what the girl could come up with, even confined to such a small space).

He had searched nearly every room on board and found nothing, nothing, nothing... and then, inspiration had struck in its devious, cruel and evil way. Piers' room. He hadn't checked Piers' room.

It was madness, of course. There was a reason he hadn't checked Piers' room- namely, it was Piers' room and Felix was in some way terrified to enter it. For one, he was technically snooping, if he thought of it that way (which he specifically did not). For another... well, Felix wasn't entirely sure what he felt about the Lemurian.

He knew that it had been far more than a desire for justice which had led him (and consequently his entire little band of travelers) across half a continent and into all sorts of trouble, all to get Piers out of jail. He also knew, with a sense of impending doom, that to actually lay eyes on the Lemurian's bed would fill his dreams with strange sounds and sweet smells and images of aquamarine hair and golden eyes... He wouldn't be able to sleep soundly for a week, at least.

He knew this, and it frightened him. If it had been any other time, he would not have entered, he would not have dared. But really, when looked at objectively, facing up to his feelings for Piers was a lot less scary than being caught doing nothing by Jenna in one of her moods.

Shivering at the thought, Felix opened the door and stepped inside.

His first reaction was that Piers' room was not the den of sin and lust that he had feared. Well, actually, Felix hadn't ever given much thought to what Piers' room might look like until the moment he opened the door, at which time visions of red velvet and handcuffs had inexplicably risen in his mind. He had no idea where the thought had come from, but suddenly it was there, and Felix was incredibly pleased to find absolutely no sign of velvet (of any color) or handcuffs in the vicinity.

In reality, Piers' room was surprisingly airy. Considering it was buried in the bowels of a ship, it really had no right to be, but somehow Piers had managed to make it so. Of course, being owner and captain had advantages in this respect- his room was slightly bigger than the others. The rain pattered against the single window, rolling down in large drops as it collected.

A small desk was positioned near the window, taking advantage of both the light and the view, and was covered with charts and maps that Felix had never seen before. But, considering how badly he had faired when he had tried to steer the ship that one time, it made sense that Piers would leave him out of the other aspects of navigation. It still stung a bit, though, to Felix's annoyance. He was amused, however, to discover that Piers had put curtains on his window, and that their pattern almost perfectly matched the one on that headdress of his.

The bed that Felix had so feared sat unassumingly in a corner, covered with blue sheets and a blue-and-purple comforter which mimicked both curtains and headdress. Despite his fears over this particular piece of furniture, Felix managed to forget about it rather quickly. There, resting comfortably in a well designed built-in shelving unit, was paydirt. A row of worn, colorful paperbacks, each seeming to cry 'read me! Read me!' Felix almost reverently approached, lifting a hand to trace a finger across the spines, when he stopped.

It was at about this time that Felix realized that Piers, his friend and something-he-did-not-want-to-think-about, was certifiably insane.

"Blow Me Down?" Felix read aloud from one of the spines, disbelief cracking in his voice and etching lines on his face.

"A Swashbuckling Tale of Adventure and Romance on the High Seas." Piers quoted from memory, ignoring Felix's startled jump. "Did you want to borrow it?" The arched aquamarine eyebrow and glittering eyes gave away Piers' amusement as Felix flushed.

"I- I... no..." Felix looked down at his feet, his disbelief about Piers' rather interesting book collection fading away as acute embarrassment took over. He had been snooping, technically, and he had been caught red-handed. He couldn't imagine a scenario in which Piers wouldn't be mad at him.

It was lucky for Felix that Piers had been gifted with a better imagination. The Lemurian was far from angry, though to say that he was surprised to find Felix in his quarters would have been the understatement of the century (Piers would not comment on the previous century). He had known that something was amiss as he approached-- he was always sure to close his door when he left his room, but someone had opened it in his absence.

It was curiosity more than suspicion that had led him to approach quietly; he was interested to know who among his traveling companions might have reason to enter his room, and what that reason might be. He had certainly not expected the answers to be "Felix" and "raiding his collection of romance novels". Of course, Piers would never mind that the first answer was "Felix", but he could think of far more interesting things for the answer to number two...

In any case, there Felix was, staring at Piers' bookshelf with an expression of mixed horror and amazement. The Venus Adept was so shocked-- Too cute, Piers grinned and found himself frozen at the entrance to his own room, watching the enchanting youth. Then, Felix had spoken, echoing aloud one of the many titles before his eyes, and the spell cast over the moment was broken.

Now, only moments later, Felix was looking embarrassed and Piers didn't know what to do other than admire the blush staining the normally-stoic Felix's cheeks. After a long and just-this-side-of-uncomfortable pause, Piers realized that Felix was not going to begin the conversation and took the responsibility off the young man's shoulders.

He crossed the small space with quick steps and hopped onto his bed, bouncing a little as he landed. Felix had followed his movement, and Piers found himself looking up into deep chocolate-brown eyes. He smiled, and Felix looked adorably bewildered.

"Sooo..." Piers stretched the syllable, and Felix looked ready to flinch. Not exactly what Piers wanted, and he resolved to make Felix smile (or at least go back to stoic, even if Piers couldn't get him to reemerge on the other side). "I love having you here, Fe," And would love to have you a couple of other ways, too, His brain filled in cheekily. "But why exactly are you here?" He carefully kept his expression curious, not accusing at all, and Felix seemed to lighten up a bit.

"I ran out of books." Felix answered quietly, his long hair sliding further over his face than usual, though the flush was fading from his cheeks. Piers' eyebrow rose again.

"So you decided to start in on my romance novels?" He chuckled, trying to fight back a grin and failing miserably.

Felix shuffled nervously. "No. I thought you might have more books."

Golden eyes blinked at him. "And so I do." Piers replied, gesturing with one hand to the bookshelf. Felix flushed again.

"Those aren't... I mean-" Piers waved the hand again to cut him off.

"They are books; they're just not the sort of self-important book you're used to. Historical texts and all that. Those are fine, of course," Piers sighed and flopped back on his bed, supporting himself on an elbow so he could still meet Felix's eyes, "But really," he grinned, "there's nothing to beat cheesy romance novels when it comes to entertainment."

Now it was Felix's turn to raise an eyebrow, which said eloquently: Prove it.

"You don't believe me?" Piers challenged back, "Fine. Pass me one. Any one." He scooted back on the bed, leaving plenty of space for Felix even as he made himself comfortable leaning against the wall. Felix eyed the shelf critically, finally selecting the same title he had spoken before. It had sounded... interesting. Piers grinned and opened the novel to the first page, gesturing for Felix to come and sit beside him. The youth complied, sitting a bit stiffly on the end of the bed. Piers rolled his eyes and grabbed a handful of Felix's tunic, dragging him further onto the bed.

"Get comfy!" He ordered, bouncing a few times to punctuate the sentence. Felix's mouth twitched just slightly and Piers grinned. Once Felix had settled himself (with Piers watching out of the corner of his eye to make sure Felix was meeting his comfyness standards), Piers cleared his throat dramatically and began to read.

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Piers did voices.

It only took the first chapter or so for Felix to start fighting back a smile, and by the time the book was halfway through he was laughing softly at the Lemurian's dramatic reading. Besides voices, Piers also made sweeping gestures (particularly when the pirate king was having his duel with the navy commander) and overacted every romantic scene perfectly.

It was obvious that Piers was happy to have an audience for this, and he was. Especially since it was an audience of Felix, who even snorted appreciatively as Piers-as-Lady-Aurelia fainted from the stress of being forced to choose between her fiancé and her pirate lover. The Lemurian enacted the more ... risqué ... scenes with an enthusiasm that made Felix blush, but with enough humor that Felix didn't feel entirely uncomfortable, even as Piers dramatically "climaxed" beside him. Although, Felix thought most of that was due to the fact that Piers was doing so in a high falsetto and that the Lemurian couldn't manage to stop himself from giggling halfway through.

So, it hadn't been the way Felix had planned to spend his afternoon- it was much better. He couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed so much, and spending the day with Piers made him happier than he wanted to admit.

Finally, with an overly-wistful sigh, Piers closed the book and rolled his head onto Felix's shoulder. Felix stiffened slightly and looked down at him.

"So, was I right?" Piers' eyes were twinkling again. "Cheesy romance novels are fun; right, Fe?" Felix considered. They had read a cheesy romance novel; it had been fun.

Felix nodded.

Piers pushed himself out of his semi-reclined position and glared at Felix, his lower lip jutting out slightly in an unmistakable pout.

"Felix! You could at least say 'yes'!" Piers bounced again, as that seemed to have worked so far. Felix's lips twitched upward at the corners, and Piers rejoiced. Score! Then Felix shrugged.

"Fe-e!" Piers collapsed dramatically, sprawling out over Felix's legs and rolling to face him. Felix's right knee was digging into his spine, but he didn't really mind. "Please? You were doing so well today!"

Felix blinked at him. "Why does it matter?" He asked mildly. Piers was grinning at him.

"See! I knew you could do it!" He bounced again, and Felix winced. "Oops." Piers bit his lip and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."

"It's alright." Felix smiled softly. It was always remarkable to him how lightly Piers could treat everything. He wasn't sure if it was just in the man's nature or if it was somehow related to his unnaturally long life. Either way, Felix thought it was a wonderfully refreshing change from everything he had experienced since he fell in the river. He shrugged again, and he swore he saw Piers roll his eyes. "I'd rather listen to you talk."

Golden eyes blinked up at him. "Oh." Piers thought for a moment, then he brightened. "Does that mean you want to do this again tomorrow?" Felix wondered if there was something deeper under the question or if he was just imagining it. Either way, he knew the answer.

"Okay."