Disclaimer: ST: VOY not mine. If it were, C/7 wouldn't have happened.
Author's Note: This was inspired by a cute scene in the Yakitate!! Japan graphic novel where Ken asks Tsukino what she thinks a grown man and woman do when they're in a relationship and alone together. As you can tell by the title, you know what she replied.
Play Cards?
By mistress amethyst une
"I swear, those two are nailing each other," remarked Tom rather crudely, "The captain's never that happy in the morning before she's had a cup of coffee."
"I heard she and the Commander were playing cards in her quarters last night. Maybe she won some replicator rations off him," surmised Harry.
He shrugged, "Cards… Right. Unless it was strip poker, I seriously doubt she'd-"
"Doubt she'd what?" remarked a familiar commanding female voice, "Finish the sentence, Mr. Paris."
He was struck dumb to say the very least, "What sentence?"
Captain Janeway walked forward to face him, "Unless it was strip poker, I seriously doubt she'd… That sentence. Finish it."
His face was frozen into a silly baffled expression.
She burst out laughing, "Where'd your sense of humor go? I'm just joking lieutenant. I'm not so straight-laced as to be offended. Just try to refrain from making fun of your commanding officers when they're right behind you. Saves you a lot of embarrassment."
She patted his shoulder and walked off to her usual mess hall table with Chakotay and they seemed to share a private joke and couldn't help smiling.
"Like a couple of kids… I swear. There is no way they were just playing cards," said Tom as he shook his head in feigned dismay.
OOO
She groaned, "You're awful. Absolutely awful…"
"I'm doing the best I can" he said as he wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead, "You only think I'm bad at it because you've never pulled through successfully before."
"You're giving me a headache. Stop moving it around so much. You're disorienting me."
"You know I need to move it if you're ever going to learn anything."
"Fine, fine… I think I'm done staring at it. Memorizing all those positions was hard. Stupid card mat with all its symbols."
He chuckled, "Now tell me what you understand about set-up."
"Alright, let me get this straight," she sighed trying to comprehend his earlier instructions, "I draw a hand of seven cards from a deck of sixty and I place one of the monster cards into the arena. I can place no more than five other monster cards in a bench position and I need to attach energy cards to attack but I can only attach one energy card per turn per monster and there are various kinds of energy cards. The ones I attach have to match the requirement on the card and- Damn it, Commander… You've been trying to teach me this game for a week now. I only bought the decks because the art was delightfully childish and I thought it would be a fun distraction."
"Uh huh… And now you'll appreciate the relative ease of sealing a warp core breach in comparison to a game targeted at ten year old twentieth century children. Well, at least this'll keep our minds sharp in our old age. With seventy years of travel ahead of us, you'll probably be good enough to play in a tournament by the time we get back."
"Shut it," she said as she rolled her eyes, "You may be going senile but I'm not. I'm going to learn this."
"Alright then… Have it your way. So what kind of prize match?"
"Huh?"
"The number of prize cards you draw randomly and place beside the bench cards face down. You-"
She groaned.
"Captain, this is only the game set up. Then we have to consider how the energy cards work with respect to bench retreat costs and discarding for special attacks. There's also weakness and negative thirty hit point resistance for some monster types against others and the various card turns to symbolize disabilities due to special-"
She raised a hand to cut him off, "The dealer told me these were reproductions of a few cards from a popular game for kids a few hundred years back. Those kids were either bored enough to have the time to learn all this or children from that era are a lot smarter then we give them credit for. How did you learn to play this anyway?"
"I read the instruction booklet."
"There's an instruction booklet?" her eyes widened like saucers.
"Not on this ship," he said with a mild chortle, "I had my own deck as a child. It was a very nice reproduction although my set centered more on colorless and psychic types. Your theme seems to be, 'every cute pink monster known to the game.'"
"Again, I bought them for the delightfully childish art. I have no idea how they found their way into my suitcase. I must have forgotten to unpack them from that particular vacation…"
He smiled, "Would you rather just look at them? They're trading cards you know. Half the fun the children got out of them was swapping."
"I'd like that… So this pink rabbit thing with the egg? Easter bunny?"
He chortled, "No, that thing has 120 hit points on it. For a cutie, it's tough to beat. It's a pity that it damages itself whenever it has to launch an aggressive attack."
He smiled at her and she returned his grin, "Uh huh. A cutie?" she asked in a tone that made him regret his choice of words a tad.
He shrugged, "It seemed like the appropriate term."
He hoped she hadn't noticed that he'd been staring at her while describing the card.
"And this one?"
It was a round pink monster holding a marker like a microphone, "That one sings its opponent to sleep then attacks knowing the other monster can't fight back."
"You sure know your Pokeythings, Commander."
He burst out laughing at how what she had said sounded like very bad innuendo, "It's Pokemon, Captain. Pocket monsters."
"Whatever," she chortled, "Bet a tribble could take them all on. I don't think I can learn this game. Was fun trying though… Nice to learn a bit about them before I shove them back in my suitcase. One week and all for naught."
"I guess that's the end of that," he remarked, "See you on the bridge tomorrow?"
"Affirmative, Commander," she smiled, "Oh… And meet me in here again tomorrow night."
"I thought you quit?"
"On the Pokeymen, yes. On other games, no."
He was much too amused to correct her, "Alright. I assume you'll be bringing a fresh set of cards to the table. Preferably a deck that'll let me win your rations away from you instead of one I have to explain in nerd babble?"
"Deal," she said as she got up to see him off, "Oh and Commander…"
"What?"
"How do you play strip poker?"
OOO
Yes, I confess. I used to play the Pokemon trading card game. Just thought it'd be nice to bring them to the 24th century. The rules are absurdly complicated. I'm amazed my twelve year old self understood them. xD Seventeen year old me barely remembers how to play though. By the way, if you're wondering which Pokemon were described by Janeway, the bunny is Chansey and the one that sings is Jigglypuff. Of course, if you grew up in the nineties adn saw the critters yourself, you would know that already. : D I'm not quite brave enough to post something multi-chapter and serious for this fandom. I want to have all the facts straight first to pull off good characterizations. Until then, I'll stick to experimental one-shots. :) Constructive criticism is highly appreciated.