I look out of the window and see the wet raindrops sticking against the glass of the window. Not wanting to look into the room for a little just a little while and get my thoughts away from what is going on in the room I am in.
I just want to have my mind at peace just for a few minutes but it doesn't seem my mind wants to listen to what I want and just keep haunting me with what happend over and over again. It makes me crazy to see it over and over.
I sighed and laid my head against the window and listen to the rain falling against the window which would be part of the water circle again if it would hit the ground or be food for the the flowers in on the windowsill. The water would in the end be usefull unlike me who is just sitting here feeling bad about himself and just being egocentric and being slightly happy that I am sitting here safe.
I myself am a introvert person so I don't really talk much and I don't really mind that I don't talk as much as others do. I will talk when I have to and I wont bore people whit things that don't really matter at all. My friend and stephbrother tried to convince me that I need to talk more but I don't see the point of doing this.
Yet it doesn't seem to get in my little brothers thick skull. That is not the only thing that I didn't manage to get into the red head's head. But of course why would you listen to someone who doesn't go whithout say that it his decision and that I just give my opinion.
That is why i feel so stupid I should just have told him that it was a bad idea but because I was afraid to speak up this happend. I would hit my head against the wall to make myself realise that it is my fault that he is in this situation.
He didn't even listen to his sister who told him the same as me but on a more self assured tone. He didn't listen and wanted to prove that his sister was wrong and dragged me along in his weird plan. Not that I wanted but I was afraid to speak up. It is a problem I know but Phineas is just a person I can't say no to.
And here we are in the hospital because Phineas his genius plan backfired on him. I had most luck of us two. I only had a concusion for the fall but Phineas wasn't that lucky.
Phineas wanted like the child he is slide from the staircase but added some things to the thing we were sitting on when we slide of the staircase. I can't go into detail of it since Phineas made it and I wasn't there with him and I dind't was what he added to it. I saw that there were things added though but never asked myself what they were.
God even now I don't know what my idiotic brother added to that stupid thing. So as planned when mom was away we went down the staircase and I wasn't sure if I still wanted to go down and I even tried to convince not to do it.
Since we are here it seems that I wasn't able to convince my younger sephbrother to stop the stupid plan. We went down the stairs and because I was scared I claped myself to one of the poles of the staircase and hit my head but I never made it to the ground floor but my brother who remained on the thing did make it down there.
The doctors said that I was lucky that iwas able to grab the pole with the speed the thing was going down the staircase. I was lucky because if I had been on the thing when it crashed down on the first floor that I would have been in the same state as my brother or even worse if my brother would have crashed on me.
I don't consider myself lucky though, because in my eyes this isn't. The weight that has been up on my shoulder by the guilt of what has happend two weeks ago is a hard thing for me to bare with since people keep telling me that it's my fault that he is in a coma.
They base their conclusions on the fact that I would not have told Phineas that it was dangerous to what he did back then. One hole in their theory is that I did tell him that it was a dangerous idea and that it would not be without concesquences as you can see it never made it in his thick skull.
I hate it that they keep blaming me for the whole situation. It doesn't help Phineas at all. He even said to me that if something did go wrong in his plan that he woudn't blame me for it. That is the only thing that makes me happy though since I wouldn't want him to be mad at me for this since Phin has always been my close friend ever since I moved from the Uk to the US.
I just wished that he would be able to tell those people he doens't feel the way about this situation that they think he does. If I would tell them they would say that I am just making this up so that I would feel better about myself.
Like I said Phineas is in a coma due to severe damage to his brain thanks to the impact from his head against the wall. They keep them in the coma so that his brain slowly recovers from the damage that he had got.
They explained to me that he is in a dream where he can't wake up from untill they are sure that his brain has recovered enough to let him wake up from the dream like state where he is in now but I am not a small child I know better then that.
You know, Phineas told me that he had a dream about us being inventors of crazy stuff during the free days duringt the summerbreak like the one time that we had made a crazy rollercoaster in his dream and that Candace tried to bust us but the invention dissapeared before our mom could see it. It was thanks to a evil doctor who was a nemissis of out platipus wgo was a secret agent.
It is a very silly dream but it seems a very fun one so I hope now he is sleeping that he will have this dream the whole time.
If doctor find out they will start to look after the meaning of every little thing that would be in the dream and ruin it for him and I don't want his dream to him because he enjoyed his dream so much.
Well I may not be a doctor but this is what I could get out of what Phineas told me after he had that dream a few months ago. This is what I could get from it myself.
First that he and I would invent some since we didn't know what to do on the long and warm summer day. What was something that didn't suprise me at all since the two ever since we were little we would invent weird games while we were bored.
Second is the location that most of this dream took pla e. The garden which was not much of a surprise either since the redhead loved to spen days there. He really like to sit there under the tree from time to time.
The part that included me surprised me little but you can also logicly explain by the fact that we are brothers and that we spended a lot of time together and that I mean a lot to him the only thing that changed in my personality was that I was even more introvert then I am now.
The personalities of our friends that he discribed to me from the dream are zoomed in on small parts of our personality. Like Baljeet who wants to get in the dream A+++'s . Which is rahter different from the real Baljeet who just study hard for his grades.
Bufford isn't a bully ay all. He teases Baljeet and other of his friends a lot but never has the intention to hurt them at all. Baljeet and Buford have been friend for a very long time now. They were friends since the first year of kindergarten.
Both of them had just moved to the US. they didn't know English at all. Phineas said that it was funny to see them trying to comunicate whit each other even though the two were both like 3 and only knew the language from the country they were from. Baljeet only spoke Indian and Bufford spoke only Geman at that point.
The thing that I found weird was that he dreamed that Candace would try to bust us which would resemble the fact that she tried everything to make mom or dad come home since she was worried of us and that she wasn't able to stop us at all.
That mom always comes home after the invention is gone must be explained that she was never able to see what happened to her son. She heard everything I still seemed to remember to me. She was mad because I couldn't remember much at the time and needed an explanation from a doctor that it was normal that I didn't remember everything.
The last thing that I can explain with some logic is that the time it takes place what is during the summer break that it reffers that he is long a way from school in the dream but long away from the reall world in reality.
But that I what I think of it and I will never tell him since I don't want to ruin his dreams and if he wakes up I don't wasnt the doctors to do the same.
I just hope that as long as he is here that he has that dream and that we all with him may have great adventures that make him happy.
Because that is what I want that he is happy.
Mostly I hope he has those adventures with me so it would be our adventures.
The crazy adventures of…
Phineas and Ferb.