This is just a short story (about three chapters) that's been living in my head for a while.

Thank you Margaret and Cindy for reading ahead and deeming this good to go. :) Much appreciated.

Chapter One — Sex, Lies and Videotape

It was Christmas Day. Joe had just dropped me back at my apartment after we had Christmas dinner with my family. I thought he might stay and that we might have a romantic evening together, but that didn't happen. Somewhere between my mom's baked ham and her pineapple up-side-down cake his cell phone went off.

As I was sitting next to him, I could hear a woman's voice on the other end of the line, but I couldn't hear what she was saying.

"That was Robin," he said to me, referring to Robin Russell, a fellow police officer and the woman who sometimes manned the desk at the station. "Andy called in sick with the flu and I have to take over his shift tonight."

His laughter and light banter with the recipient at the other end of the phone made me wonder, but only for a second. Joe doesn't lie to me. He just keeps information from me. And for the pervious second I thought the caller might have been Terri Gilman. It almost sounded like her voice, but as I said, I dropped it. It was Christmas.

So now I was back at my apartment with no tree, no Christmas decorations, and no wreath on my door. But I did own a CD of Christmas songs, so I put them on and took a little eggnog out of my refrigerator for a mini pity party.

My mother had pulled me aside after we opened our gifts. "Stephanie," she said, "I see that once again Joe hasn't given you a ring for Christmas — maybe a little gentle prodding would be a good idea."

"Mom, we're just not ready," I said, but now thinking about the call Joe got, I had to wonder if there might be more to it than that.

Out of the blue, my locks tumbled. Joe had the key to my apartment, and there was no lock ever made that could keep Ranger out. I made the quick assumption that Andy somehow made it into work after all and Joe was off the hook, so I wiped away the tears that had welled up in my eyes and turned around to see who my visitor was.

"Merry Christmas, Babe," Ranger said coming over, and wiping the remaining tear marks from my cheeks. "You're upset. What's the matter?"

"Nothing. What are you doing here? It's Christmas. Don't you usually spend it with your family?"

"Your lights were on and your car was in the parking lot. And I have a Christmas present for you," he said, avoiding answering my questions directly.

"For me?" I asked, feeling a little squishy inside. I had a present for him too. In fact I've bought presents for him every Christmas, but I never had the nerve to give him one before. But this one was different. It was perfect.

"Yes for you Babe," he said, handing me a small box.

"Wait. I have a present for you too." I went into my closet and found what I was looking for. Thank God I had wrapped it.

"You first Ranger," I said handing over my present.

"What is this Babe?"

"Open it. I found it at the mall and as soon as I saw it, I had to get it for you," I said, going into more detail than I wanted to.

Slowly Ranger unwrapped my present. He put the bow and the wrapping paper on my kitchen counter and used the side of his finger to pop the tape on the box. Once he moved the tissue paper out of the way, there it was: a ceramic red bat phone. It opened so you could put things inside and it had the Batman logo where a phone number would be on one of those old-school dial phones. I thought he could keep pens and pencils inside of it.

"I love it Babe," he said, clearly amused. "We seem to have similar ideas, open yours."

I removed the blue wrapping paper and small silver bow and put them aside. There was a box underneath and as I opened the lid, I held my breath. What could Batman possibly have gotten me?

Inside was a pair of Tiffany's Cushion hoop earrings.

"So personal Batman." I said, taking one of them out to look at it closely.

"Very personal Babe. Inside the earrings are tracking devices that go directly to Rangeman. I was tired of your cars blowing up and me worried sick that something had happened to you. I had them made especially for you from Tiffany's. They're one of a kind. But they should pass as just a very nice pair of everyday earrings."

"I don't know what to say Batman. Thank you." Part of me wanted to get angry. Yes they were beautiful. Yes, Ranger bought them, well, had them made, with me in mind. But once again they were something to keep tabs on me.

"Come here Babe, let me put them on you."

I took the three steps that were separating us and I handed Ranger the box. He tucked a curl behind my ear and removed the earring that was currently there. Earrings my dad gave me when I graduated from college. God, the electricity I felt when his hands touched me. He took one of the Tiffany earrings, put it through the hole and hooked it in place. If I thought about it long enough I could have found the whole thing very erotic.

"Beautiful," he said, taking a look at me.

He then did the same to the other side, letting his fingers linger on my ear and then delicately graze the side of my face. He then tipped my chin up to look at him and his lips came down on mine. It wasn't what I was expecting, but oh my God, it was a really nice kiss.

I couldn't help it. I put my arms around him to bring him closer and then I realized what I was doing.

"Batman, I don't know if this is such a good idea. I'm, I'm…" I said trying to come up with something to say so I wouldn't be hurt by his actions again.

"Mmmm Babe, you're what?" he asked kissing me again.

Oh God, I got all caught up in the moment and totally forgot what I had been objecting to.

"Ranger, you know I can't do this, don't you?"

He didn't answer my question, but kissed me once more. God he was such an excellent kisser — and I knew first-hand what else he excelled in.

"Babe, I want to show you something, and this has nothing to do with what just happened between us. Dios, you know I could kiss you all night long."

Hmm, that was different. A hint of an emotion from Batman.

"Do you know where Morelli is tonight?" he asked, not waiting for a reply from me.

"His phone rang at dinner and Robin told him he had to cover for Andy. He's working."

"Babe," he just said simply and sat us down on the couch.

"Hal took it upon himself to do some investigating," he started, watching my face intently as he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket. "On more than a couple of occasions over the last few months he'd noticed Morelli's SUV parked in front of Terri Gilman's house when he made his rounds. He didn't think anything of it, as he assumed you were in one of your off again phases with Morelli. I guess he'd asked around and learned differently so a couple of weeks ago he planted a camera in a tree across the street from Terri's house. This is live."

Joe's SUV was indeed parked in front of Terri's house and as I looked beyond his car to Terri's front door, I saw Joe's arms completely wrapped around a slim blonde woman. I didn't need to see anything further.

"Ranger, how could you?" I said, anger in my voice. I was angry with Ranger for showing me. I was angry with Joe for lying and I was angry with Terri for, well, for being Terri I guessed.

"I'm sorry, but you needed to see for yourself, I didn't think you'd believe me if I just told you," he said getting up from the couch and walking into my kitchen to give me some space.

"I don't understand. And why did you pick tonight to tell me? It's Christmas, Ranger."

"There's never a good time to learn about these things. But I looked on my phone as I was coming here and all the evidence was right there in front of me. I didn't want to see you hurt again. Do you need to be alone? Do you want me to leave?"

"Yes. No. Fuck Ranger, I'm all mixed up."

"I could do that too, but I don't want to take advantage of you. You know I care about you Babe."

"God damn it Ranger, I wish you cared differently," I blurted out, not realizing what I was saying.

"Babe?"

"I know. You're lifestyle doesn't lend itself to relationships, you're not family material and your love comes with a condom, not a ring," I paraphrased the things he'd told me over the years.

"Babe, come here. I want to tell you something."

I got up from the couch and walked over to Ranger. As much as my instincts were telling me to stay away, I just couldn't.

He wrapped his arms around me again, but kept some space between us. I guessed he really did want to tell me something.

"I know I've said some pretty fucked up things to you in the past," he began, tucking a curl behind my ear, his eyes moving from the earring he just placed there to mine. "I can't undo the hurt I've caused you, I know that. But what if I said I wanted to try?"

"Wanted to try what Batman?"

"Do you have plans for New Year's Eve, Babe?"

"Looks like I don't anymore, but it wasn't a real date anyway. We were just going to sit in front of the TV with Bob and watch the ball drop."

"Stephanie, will you go out with me?"

"A date Batman?"

"Yeah Babe, a date."

"Am I a rebound?"

"I wouldn't do that to you. I was going to spend New Year's Eve working the monitors to let my men have the night off, but I can bring in a couple of contract workers. I'd like to take you out for dinner and dancing."

"So this was just impromptu?"

"Not really Steph, I've been wanting to take you out for a long time. I've just never manned up to what I wanted to do before."

"And you're manning up now?"

"I guess you could say I'm growing up now."

I didn't know what to say to that. I was still slightly angry with him for both the tracking devices inside a pair of beautiful earrings and the way he told me about Joe.

"So Steph, will you go out with me?"

He looked like a little kid asking for that toy he really wanted. Slightly shy, if Batman could ever be shy and slightly embarrassed, as if he could ever be embarrassed either.

"Ok Batman, it's a deal."

I saw his face light up and he pulled me to him and kissed me again. "Thank you Babe. Uh, I don't know if it's such a good idea for you to be alone tonight, but I have to go to Newark. I have some presents to bring to my family. Would you like to come with me?"

So he did see his family at Christmas. He was somewhat human after all.

"They don't know me. Wouldn't it be weird me coming for Christmas?"

"I think they know more about you than you'd think. My sister Celia has a big mouth."

"You've spoken about me?"

"After we bumped into Marty Sanchez, he called Celia. She asked me about you."

"Oh God."

"So, do you want to come with me?"

"Am I dressed ok?" I had changed into sweat pants and one of Ranger's t-shirts that somehow found its way into my apartment. I figured if I stayed in the car I'd be ok.

"Is this what you wore earlier?"

"No. I had a skirt on. Give me two minutes and I'll put it back on." I guessed I was meeting Batman's parents.

Since I was wearing heels we took the elevator down to my lobby and went out the back door to the parking lot. Ranger's 500-horsepower, all-wheel drive, Porsche 911 Turbo was parked right by the door. I'd never understand how he did it.

He fobbed his car and opened the passenger-side door for me. After he made sure I was in, he closed the door and went over the driver's side. He started up the car and you could just feel the power that this car held. I always loved being in this car, especially at night. I felt like I was in a rocket ship.

He got on the parkway and headed north. We got off at one of the Newark exits. He made a couple of turns and then he parked the car. We were on a residential street of single-family houses. Not unlike my parents' house in the Chambersburg section of Trenton.

"We're here Babe."

He was out of the car and had my door open for me before I even had my seatbelt undone. He took my hand and we walked up his parent's walk together; his shopping bag of gifts tight in his other hand.

Before we got to the door, someone opened it and smiled broadly at us. It was the same 200-watt smile that Ranger had, so I assumed it was a relative.

"So Carlos, you've finally graced us with your presence. Is this Stephanie?"

"Stephanie, this is my sister Celia. Celia, this is Stephanie Plum."

"Nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you."

Shit. "It's nice to meet you too. But unfortunately you're the only relative whose name I even know."

"Come inside, I'll introduce you," she said, super-friendly.

"Everyone, this is Carlos' associate, Stephanie."

"Stephanie, this is my mother, Gloria, my dad, Ricardo, my sister, Daria, my other sister, Isabel and my little sister, Lauren," she started introducing people in the orderin which they were sitting. "Daria's husband Eric and my husband Rob," she continued. My brother Alex is somewhere." "Alex. Come meet Stephanie," she called.

Carlos's mom and dad got up to welcome me into their home and into their arms. They were very warm and loving.

"It is so nice to finally meet you," Gloria said. "We've heard about you for years."

"All good, I hope," I said, looking over at Ranger, who was clearly amused. After Ranger and I were hugged and kissed by everyone, they invited us to sit down.

"Can I get you anything Stephanie?" his mother asked. "We ate earlier, Carlos wasn't sure what time he'd be able to get here and told me not to wait for him."

"I'm good. I had dinner at my parents' a few hours ago."

"Some water? A glass of wine?"

The wine sounded good, especially now that I seemed to be the center of attention. "You know, a glass of wine sounds like a good idea."

"Carlos?"

"I'll bring it mom, sit down."

Ranger got up and made his way into the dining room. He opened a couple of cabinets and came back with a handful of glasses and a bottle of red wine.

"I wasn't sure who else wanted any, so I brought the bottle and glasses. Mom? Dad?"

Carlos' mother and his sisters Celia and Isabel joined us for a glass of wine. Just then his brother came in from outside, he looked cold and was putting his phone back into his pocket.

"Hey Carlos. Nice to meet you Stephanie," he said, extending his hand to me and hugging Ranger. "I'm sorry; I was on the phone with my kids. My ex has them today."

"Please everyone, call me Steph. I feel like I've done something wrong when you call me Stephanie."

Alex took the last empty glass that was on the table and poured himself some wine. "Salud."

"Salud," I said back, toasting Alex. I really liked Ranger's family.

All of a sudden I heard a door slam and lots of feet came running into the living room. This time it was Ranger who did the introductions.

"Stephanie, these are my nieces and nephews; minus Alex's kids. Madeleine, Ariel and Leo belong to Daria and Eric, and Sean and Spence are Celia and Rob's. Alex has twin boys Derek and Dylan and a daughter Ava."

I'd never remember anyone's name. "Hi guys, I'm Steph," I said.

Carlos passed out presents to his mom, dad and siblings and handed envelopes to the kids and a few to Alex, I assumed for his kids.

Someone reached under the tree and started pulling out other wrapped packages. They all went to Ranger.

"I told you, I don't need anything, but thank you," he said.

"Open them," I urged, clearly wanting to see what his family bought him for Christmas.

"Carlos, what did you get Stephanie?" his sister Celia asked, opening her small box, which looked like it contained earrings too.

"Babe, want to show them your earrings?"

I tossed my hair back to show off the tracking devices on my ears. "They're multi-functional," I said. "Ranger installed GPS's in them, now he'll know where I am when my cars go off the grid."

His mother looked at him with what I could only call displeasure. "Carlos."

It looked like he got a card with money from his mom and dad. He got two Wii games: one from his brother and one from Lauren. I didn't even know he had Wii. He got a framed photo of his nieces and nephews from Daria and a pink shirt from his sister Celia. Yes, pink. Once everyone had opened their presents, his sister Isabel came over to him and spoke softly. "Carlos, I'm sorry. I didn't get anyone presents this year. I didn't have much money left after getting that apartment on my own. Evan pretty much took everything."

"It's ok Izzy, don't worry about it and let me know if there's anything I can do to help you."

We stayed maybe another hour and then I started to yawn. It was probably the wine.

Ranger looked over at me. "I think I need to get Stephanie home. This has probably been a long day for her."

I'll say.

We got our coats, collected Ranger's presents and said our goodbyes to everyone. I even asked where the kids were so I could stick my head in to say goodbye. Finally we were packed into the Turbo and heading back to Trenton.

"Thank you Ranger," I said when we were on the highway.

"What for Babe?"

"For introducing me to your family. It's funny though, they seemed to know all about me."

"I told you, Celia has a big mouth. Where would you like to go Babe? You can come with me to Haywood or I can bring you back to your apartment."

"My apartment, please. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure Babe, anything."

"Why now?"

"I don't want to lose you. If I didn't man up, I got the feeling you'd tell both me and Morelli to go take a hike. I care about you Stephanie, perhaps more than I let on."

"Me too," I said softly, biting my lip. But I guessed I didn't speak softly enough because Ranger took my hand and brought it to his lips.

"Ranger, don't take this the wrong way, but I want to be alone tonight. I need to think and I have to call Joe and end this once and for all."

"Can I call you tomorrow Babe?"

I nodded my head yes and he kissed my hand again.

"I'm going to see you to your door," he said, pulling into my parking lot and getting that same spot, right in front.

Once again he opened the door for me and helped me out of his car. We took the elevator to two and he took my keys from me to open my front door. Of course he did the once around the place to make sure there were no bad guys lurking in corners before he let me enter. I really didn't know what to make of this Ranger; but I liked what I was seeing.

"Ok Babe, you're good. Thank you for the nice evening tonight. And thank you for my bat phone. It's going on my desk. It will make me think of you every time I look at it."

And then he kissed me. A wonderful kiss with just a hint of tongue; well enough so that I knew if we didn't stop now, we wouldn't stop at all. And I wanted to take this slow. And most of all, I had to call Morelli.

"Merry Christmas, Ranger," I said, seeing him to my front door.

"Merry Christmas, Babe. I'll call you tomorrow, but if you need me after you've spoken to Morelli, don't hesitate to call."

"Ok, bye."

And he gave me another kiss before he left.

Before I called Morelli, I needed a sanity check, so I called Mary Lou. I knew she was having Christmas at home and both her mother and her mother-in-law would be at her house in case one of the kids had a meltdown while we were on the phone. Although I didn't think we'd be on the phone that long. And it was late; the kids were probably were all in bed and both moms had long gone home.

"Mare? It's Steph." I announced myself once she answered, although we've known each other since kindergarten so introductions really weren't necessary. "Merry Christmas."

"Ok what gives. You never call me just to wish me Merry Christmas. You'd send me a card or a text or an email, what's going on?

"Am I that transparent? I asked hoping she'd say no.

"Yeah. You know I love hearing from you, but something must be up for you to call me at almost eleven at night on Christmas."

"Do you know anything about Morelli and Terri?" I asked, the words coming out like a slow hard shit.

"Word on the street or just hearsay?"

"Cut the shit Mary Lou, you know what I mean. Lenny hangs out with that bunch of local guys, they know what's going on."

"Len," I heard her call, "It's Steph. She's asking about Joe."

I heard mumbling. Mary Lou had her hand over the phone. This wasn't going to be good.

Suddenly Lenny picked up.

"Hey Steph. Merry Christmas. How ya doing? Mare says I need to tell you what I know. Please don't hate the messenger." He paused waiting for a reply, but I didn't give him one. "Yeah, Joe's been spending time with Terri. Anthony told him he needed to tell you, but as far as I can gather, he hasn't. Listen, I hate be the one to tell you this, but whatever you've heard is true. He's cheating on you."

I don't know how I held it together, but I did. "Thanks Lenny. You and Mare are good friends. I appreciate your honesty. Can you put Mary Lou back on?"

He didn't say goodbye or acknowledge my thank you, but I didn't expect him to.

"Mare?" I asked once the tenor of the voice changed. "What would you do?"

"I'd fucking kick his butt, but he's a cop. Confront him."

"Thanks Mare, you're the best friend a girl could have. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know what happened."

Fuck. I had to do it, and I had to do it now. I dialed his home number. It rang four or five times before it went to voicemail. Ok, so I wasn't going to call his personal cell, but I'd call his TPD issued phone, he would have to answer that.

It rang twice before someone answered.

"Morelli here."

"Joe, it's Steph."

"Hey Cupcake. Why are you calling me on this line?"

I could hear that he was slightly out of breath and I didn't want to know why.

"Joe, where are you?"

"I've been chasing someone the TPD wants to question. Excuse me while I catch my breath."

"Joe, don't fuck with me. I know."

"Cupcake?"

"I know about Terri. Ranger showed me some video and Lenny just told what he knows. God damn you Joe, I thought you were better than your father. You know what Joe? Fuck you. I have no patience for this shit anymore. Fuck you and I hope you enjoy the rest of your life."

The tears were coming fast and furious now as I slammed the phone down and let them run down my cheeks. I couldn't catch my breath. This was almost too much for me to handle. What were you supposed to do when you hyperventilated? Put a paper bag over you face and breathe in? Shit. I couldn't remember. All I could remember was that Ranger said to call him. So I did.

Gasp. Gasp. "Ran—"

"I'll be right there Babe."