People had been showing up for the last half hour, maybe longer, but the one person that Logan was looking for still hadn't arrived.
'Where is she?'
After their encounter at the Sadie Hawkins dance and then her comment about going away and never seeing...people...again, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. About them.
He'd lost too much already. And he'd thought he'd lost her as well but the thrum of electricity between them when she'd pulled him away from Gia...it had been intense. He'd thought he'd had time to woo her, win her back. But then she'd talked about going away for college and an urgency had hit him like a sucker punch to his gut.
All his energy had been poured into dreaming up the perfect scenario to make his case for why she should give them another chance. Every classic romance that his mother had ever watched with him had been scoured for ideas. He'd even desperately searched the lyrics to some of the cheesiest country songs known to man in his quest to find just the right thing to say to Veronica when that meticulously designed romantic interlude finally played out.
And here he was with his Bogey tux on, liquid courage in hand, and no girl to make any grand declarations to.
'Unacceptable,' he thought when he saw Mac and Wallace arrive with their dates and there was still no Veronica in sight.
Downing a few gulps of the champagne he was holding, he soon realized he was going to need another bottle. He found one and quickly began downing it as well.
After giving himself a few more minutes to settle his nerves, let the alcohol kick in, and build his confidence with a nice little pep talk, Logan approached Mac with a question.
He settled his hand on her shoulder tentatively and when she turned toward him inquisitively, he asked as casually as possible, "Where's Veronica?"
With a scowl, the dark-haired girl replied indignantly, "She bailed at the last minute. Decided she'd done her civic duty by getting us invited. Said we didn't need a fifth wheel."
Logan couldn't help the disappointment that settled over him but then he took a deep breath and clenched his free hand into a fist of determination. He gave Mac a single nod and said briskly, "Thanks," before he turned and strode purposefully for the elevator.
Mac watched him curiously as he walked away, wondering vaguely if she should warn Veronica that it appeared that Logan Echolls was on a quest to find her. The thought passed quickly, though, when she smirked to herself, glancing back at her date.
'Serves her right. If I have to deal with Butters, she can deal with an unexpected Logan.'
Meanwhile, Logan had made it to his XTerra after taking a slight detour to grab his favorite flask. Depending on how long it took him to find Veronica, he figured he might need another swig or two at least before he managed to gather his thoughts enough to speak his mind to her.
His first stop was the Mars apartment. He didn't really think he would find her there but he had to try. Besides, whether or not he found Mr. Mars at home would tell him a lot about where he should or shouldn't look for Veronica next.
He knocked on the apartment door then stepped back to lean against the rail. As he waited, visions of the last time he'd stood there waiting and hoping for Veronica to answer the door danced through his head.
That other night that seemed so long ago, he'd been a mess. Bruised and bloodied emotionally and physically. Veronica had turned on him. His mom had abandoned him. A gang had jumped him. He'd awakened with a knife in his hand that had made it look like he'd killed a member of that gang. And on top of all that, he'd learned that his abusive prick of a father had murdered his first girlfriend.
Veronica had tried to pick up the pieces and put him back together but the task had proved too much for her. And who could blame her? If he'd been a jackass to her after Lilly died, he'd truly become unhinged and reckless after the spiraling sequence of events that occurred at the end of their junior year.
Stepping forward, he knocked once more, but knew instinctively that Veronica wasn't home. He didn't think she'd want to be near a crowd of people at all since she'd opted out of the Alterna-Prom he'd put together as the perfect setting to make his feelings known. With her dad not home either, where would she be? Should he check the Mars Investigations office to see if they were working a case? The Camelot for a stakeout?
Then it occurred to him that he hadn't heard Backup bark when he'd knocked.
'Dog Beach.'
She had to be at Dog Beach. It was the only thing that made sense.
Hurrying down the stairs, he stopped by his SUV to pick up his flask and determinedly headed to where he was suddenly certain he would find the bothersome blonde who haunted his head and his heart.
When he reached the walkway that led to the sandy dunes, he stopped and lifted the liquid courage to his lips, chugging several gulps of his old friend Jack Daniels before he took a deep breath and started scanning the shore for a petite beauty and her pit bull.
To his surprise, she was standing barefoot at the edge of the water, a devastatingly sexy black evening gown blowing around her ankles in the breeze. Moonlight lit her golden tresses, the salt water spray causing curled tendrils of soft hair to tickle across her delicate profile.
The image was painfully alluring. Charming, exquisite, heartbreakingly beautiful. Logan inhaled deeply, almost forgetting to breathe in his fascination with the living fulfillment of his every fantasy poised mere yards from where he stood frozen.
Backup came bounding across the sand, barking playfully as he left a stick near Veronica's feet. When she turned to throw it, she paused and looked toward the parking lot, appearing to scan the area, alert to her surroundings as always.
She caught sight of Logan, bow-tie haphazardly dangling around his neck, the top two buttons of his dress shirt undone. He saw her blink, then watched as she nervously clutched her hands in front of her.
He smiled involuntarily and her lips twitched upwards in response. Without thinking, he moved toward her, drawn as if by some inescapable magnetic pull. As he approached, he awkwardly held the flask in his left hand while he ran his right hand through his hair.
"Hey," he said nervously, feeling sheepish and completely unprepared. Everything he'd thought about saying to her had been erased completely from his mind as soon as he'd seen her. It all seemed cheesy and scripted, not at all how he was feeling in that most surreal of moments.
"Hey," she returned almost shyly.
His mouth felt dry and he had no idea what to say. All he knew was that he desperately wanted to kiss her.
She must have been able to read something of what he'd been thinking in his eyes because she laughed apprehensively and asked in astonishment, "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be hosting the greatest alternative prom of all time?"
After dismissing a desperate desire to down one more dose of of his friend Jack, Logan swallowed hard and gave a crooked, self-deprecating smile.
"Yeah, um, well...funny thing about that. I was there, waiting for this pesky blonde to arrive, make my night a living hell but she never showed so I figured the party could host itself while I went to make myself a nuisance to her."
The smile that spread across Veronica's face was brilliant and followed directly by the shake of her head and a tinkling laugh.
"Ah," she said, clearly amused, "There was no one in attendance who was worthy of your sarcastic jackass charms?"
"No one who held a candle to you," Logan stated sincerely, ducking his head as he glanced at her from beneath dark lashes.
He heard her sharp intake of breath and it gave him the courage to reach for her hand, holding it delicately in a way that allowed his right thumb to softly caress her smooth skin.
"Look, Veronica, I messed up. I made a lot of mistakes this year. The biggest of all was letting you get away. I know now why you left me. I get it. And I've tried to change. I'll never be perfect. I may never be good enough for you and I'll probably never deserve you. But the thought of losing you, of you going away to college, of never seeing you again...I don't think I could handle that."
Veronica had been quiet throughout everything he'd said. The look in her eyes, though, spoke volumes. She was scared, skittish, probably wanted to run away. And really, he didn't blame her.
It didn't surprise him in the slightest when she asked breathlessly, "Logan, what are you trying to say?"
He took a breath and looked deeply into her eyes before saying exactly what he was feeling, a lump in his throat the entire time he spoke.
"I don't want to lose you from my life, Veronica. Whether we're snarking, fighting, being bitingly sarcastic, whatever, my life is better because you're in it. And I don't want to imagine my life without you."
"I don't...I don't know what to say," Veronica admitted.
Backup nosed at their joined hands and both patted the dog's head without breaking eye contact.
Logan took the opportunity to caress her hand and join their fingers together.
"Say you'll give me another chance," he offered quietly.
He saw her hesitation, watched her fight the urge to run, and held his breath as he waited for her reply.
"I don't know, Logan…" she said doubtfully, "Do you really think we can make this work this time? We're just...we're so good at hurting each other. Relationships shouldn't be so full of pain and heartache, should they?"
" 'Love hurts, love scars...' is that what you're thinking?" Logan asked, quoting the lyrics to one of the many songs he'd come across over the last several weeks since the Sadie Hawkins Dance.
Veronica nodded and Logan smiled, pulling Veronica in closer, holding her loosely around the waist even though Backup was caught awkwardly between them.
Quirking what he hoped was a reassuring smile down at her, Logan brushed several stray hairs from Veronica's face, pushing them behind her ear before he said, "We don't have to be a love song gone wrong, you know. Or prove a country song right. We can write our own lyrics, chorus and verse."
"When did you become such a romantic?" Veronica asked, her eyes shining with humor and disbelief.
He could feel her starting to relax and gently tugged her closer.
"Hmmm...about the time I figured out I was in love with you."
"Logan," she warned, starting to pull back slightly, "I'm being serious here."
"You are?" he smirked, "I couldn't tell." He sobered and spoke again, "Seriously, Veronica. Since when have you and I ever followed the rules when it comes to something we want? I just need to know if you want it, too…"
Slowly, Veronica nodded. She disengaged his hands from her waist and gave them a squeeze, looking down at Backup who was behaving extremely well, barely even trying to get their attention.
When she looked back up at Logan, her heart was in her eyes and she said softly, "I want to say yes, Logan. I do. I just...I need time. I need to think about this. From every angle. I don't want to rush into anything that either of us will regret later. I-I don't want to lose you, either."
Logan took a step back, swallowing hard as he nodded in return. He'd put his heart on the line and it looked like he'd lost. He took another step back and started to turn, ready to walk away.
"Logan."
His name was urgent, almost desperate, frantic on her lips. Her hand landed on his wrist before he had a chance to turn back around. At her touch, though, he looked back at her, ready to retreat but not willing to do so until he'd heard what she had to say.
In a moment, a heartbeat even, a look of resolve came over her face and he watched as she picked up the stick at her feet and tossed it for Backup to chase. As soon as her dog was no longer between them, she stepped forward and pulled him toward her at the same time.
"Screw it," she murmured as she stood on tiptoe, sliding her hand to the back of his neck to pull him downward so she could meet his lips with hers.
The kiss started out tentative, soft, and uncertain but it quickly deepened as they drew each other closer and lost themselves in the sensation, the rightness of being together once more.
When they reluctantly drew apart to catch their breath, Veronica looked up at him fondly and said softly, "We'll make it work this time. I promise."
"Yeah," he responded with a crooked half-smile as he cupped her face gently in his open palm, "This time, we're gonna be epic."
