AN: I wrote this as a response to a challenge on another site. I had to write a comical Han and Leia story and for me to use the words truculent, eyre, vexatious, nerfherder, and gundark. This is what I came up with, I hope you enjoy.
Affliction of the Heart
"I still don't understand why you can't tell me where we're going!"
"Like I said before, follow your nose, Princess!" For hours now that was the only response Leia got from Han.
They were both in Han's ship, the Millennium Falcon and had been flying in hyperspace for well over five standard hours by now. They were scouting out a location for the new Rebel base and that is the only reason Leia would've entered Han's death trap again.
Han had said that he knew a perfect location for a new base and Leia agreed to go with him to check it out despite having some reservations about this whole endeavor in the first place. It was unfortunate that Chewbacca was on Kashyyyk visiting his family, and ensuring that Leia had to deal with Han all alone.
There was nobody in the world that frustrated her more. One moment she felt that he was the kindest, sweetest and bravest man in the galaxy and two seconds later the feelings would completely evaporate. More often than not she would end up bickering with him again.
The Corellian pilot was already getting on her nerves because he wouldn't tell Leia where this place was. Han knew he was infuriating her and for some reason he just kept doing it.
"I am a leading member of the Rebel Alliance," Leia said in her 'Senator' voice. "And I will be the judge of whether or not this place will be suitable for our needs."
"I'm aware of that your Highness, but I already told you it would be fine," Han replied with one of those cocky grins he did so well.
Leia rolled her eyes and snapped in annoyance. "Why must you be so vexatious?"
"I only respond to basic, Princess," Han replied casually.
"I have a name you know!" Leia said irritated.
"I know that your Highnessness," Han said softly, obviously trying not to laugh.
Leia just glared at him while Han bravely looked her in the eyes, still smiling. A moment later she turned away and sighed.
"Can you at least tell me when we're going to arrive?" She asked.
"We'll be leaving hyperspace in just a minute," Han replied.
"Thank goodness," Leia breathed.
"What?" Han asked, acting surprised. "You don't like being alone with me?"
"And why should I?" Leia retorted. "I've never met a more frustrating man in my entire life."
"I'll take that as a compliment," Han answered, smirking.
The glare Leia gave Han then would've scared away most people, but not him. "I've met nerfherders with better manners than you," she said.
Han was very close to making a snappy retort but at that moment an alarm went off. Preoccupied he pulled a lever and they soon exited hyperspace. In front of them was a planet that looked decent enough, but it wasn't one that Leia could readily identify.
"Welcome to Rholar," Han said gruffly manning the controls.
Leia couldn't say that she had ever heard of this particular planet before, but luckily Han had all the answers.
"This place is perfect for the Rebellion because it has a temperate climate, is way out in the Outer Rim and really has no sentient life. I'm not really sure why though." He said.
As soon as the Falcon was eased down on its repulsors, Han and Leia both exited the ship. Not knowing what to expect they were both armed with blasters. The terrain was fairly flat with and heavily forested. So far, so good, Leia thought. This did seem like it might be a suitable place for the Rebellion to hide.
Both of them were silent as they made their way through the foliage, carefully stepped over roots and rocks. By unspoken agreement they were heading uphill, for a good vantage point of the surrounding country. Leia wondered why they hadn't seen any of the local wildlife so far, but perhaps that was a good thing.
Finally they reached the crown of the hill and stopped to take in the view. They were surrounded by several rock formations in the surrounding peaks and Leia had no idea of their significance.
"What do you thing, Princess?" Han asked casually.
"Honestly," Leia start seriously. "It looks as if it might suit our needs. We would have a great deal of work to---" Leia was suddenly interrupted when Han's hand covered her mouth.
Outraged, she tried to struggle for a moment but Han silenced her with a look. Putting his finger to his lips, he removed his hand.
"What's wrong?" she whispered.
He only pointed at the shadowy forest. Leia looked and what she saw nearly made her feel faint; for it was the great hulking form of a gundark. They were fearsome predators and definitely not a creature one ever would care to tangle with. Not only did they have four angled claws, but razor sharp teeth. Very slowly, Leia's hand reached for the handle of her blaster.
All at once, the creature charged. Han's hand wrapped around Leia's and he ran with her away from the dangerous beast. The gundark was faster then them and it could easily overtake them, but for some reason it stopped. And Han soon stopped as well, causing Leia to bump into him.
"This isn't good," he whispered softly.
"I've gathered that," Leia snapped, her nerves making her lash out.
Han motioned to the rocks right in front of them. "I think this is the gundark's eyre," he said.
Leia rolled her eyes. "You mean it's eyrie," she corrected before continuing. "Are gundark young dangerous?"
"Probably worse than its mom over there," Han replied. "I saw we take our chances with that one before we tackle the babies."
"I don't like either idea, but I suppose you're right," Leia said.
"Here's the plan," Han said. "I'm going to make a diversion so you can sneak past the gundark and into the Falcon."
"I don't like this idea of you playing bait," Leia replied nervously. "What if something happens?"
"I know you can't bear to have me out of your sight, Princess, but I'll be alright," Han said assuredly. "I've gotten out of worse scrapes than this, that's for sure."
Han pulled out his blaster pistol and together Leia and Han walked closer to the gundark, hiding in the nearby bushes. It didn't fool the gundark however; truculent eyes glared over towards their hiding spot. Soon the creature would decide to make it's next move, Han and Leia needed to move fast.
"Wish me luck," Han said to Leia. "I'm gonna need it."
"Good luck," she replied softly. "And please be careful."
Han walked towards the gundark instant causing it to turn, his blaster aim at the animal. The gundark snorted and growled; it was growing very angry that Han dared to approach it. The it went after him, great claws grabbing him around his chest. Leia watched terrified as Han struggled uselessly in his grasp.
Then suddenly he turned his head and shouted. "Move, Leia!"
As much as she was loathe to move, she quickly sprinted out of the bushes and towards the Falcon. She didn't dare to look back, nor slowing down until she finally reached the safety of the Millennium Falcon. She fired up the sublight engines and took off; aiming for the area where she had left Han.
Suddenly Leia gasped; the gundark wasn't in sight, but Han was on the ground. And he wasn't moving. She bounded from the ship as soon as it landed and ran to Han. As he was laying on his belly, she quickly flipped him over. Han groaned.
"Han!" Leia exclaimed. "Are you alright?"
"Perfect," he said opening his eyes slightly. "Why do you ask, Princess?"
"What do you thing, Han?" she declared exasperated. "How did you escape from the gundark?"
Han sat up and smiled softly. "You saved me actually," he said.
"What do you mean?" Leia asked confused.
"The gundark was so curious about trying to figure out what I am, that she didn't try eating me right away. And then when the Falcon was coming it was so terrified of the noise it made that the thing dropped me. On my face I might add." Han answered.
"Are you injured?" Leia asked.
"Nothing a few bacta patches won't fix," Han replied. "Thanks for saving me."
And then before Leia could take in the fact that Han actually thanked her for something, she felt his lips on hers. It took her by such shock, that she was helpless to react. It was soft and incredibly sweet and she felt once more for an all too brief moment that she could be falling for him. But then it was over, and not meeting each other's eyes they both stood and entered the ship.
Then Han plotted the course and put them in hyperspace before turning to her. "So, what did you think?" he asked.
Leia was taken by surprise, because she thought he was referring to the kiss. Obviously he realized the same thing for he quickly spoke again. "About the planet I mean."
Leia smiled. "Well it seemed like it would work, but I don't think so," she replied.
"Yeah," Han agreed. "It's kind of hazardous to your health." "But speaking of a new base," Han continued. "What do you think of the Hoth system?"