**Hey! As I promised this is my new one. I'm not sure if I should continue but again it is my choice but I'd love to hear what you think. So review and let me know.
Melissa**
You Never Get To Choose…
Rory's P.O.V.
' Have you ever just wanted to beat someone up? Of course, what was I thinking? I never thought this would happen. It just wasn't supposed to. Confused? Not as much as I am. Maybe it would help if I did a recap for you.'
' I got accepted into Chilton, the prestigious academy school, last year at the beginning of my sophomore year. At first I wasn't sure I was going to be able to go. Considering, my mom and I aren't rich. So my mom asked my Grandma for help. She did on a few conditions. So that's how I ended up at Chilton.'
' To those who had went there all their lives, I didn't belong. But I didn't care. It put me one step closer to my dream, Harvard. My first day, I met him. His name I did not know but he decided to call me Mary. Later I found out that he was the " King of Chilton", Tristan DuGrey.'
' From that day one, he called me Mary, teased me, and attempted to get me to go out with him. To him I was another notch on the belt of the girls he had slept with. Seeing that I always turned him down he just kept annoying me.'
' A few weeks after he started calling me Mary, I met Dean. He asked me out and we started dating. I asked him to the Winter Formal and he said yes. By then we were semi-serious. Unfortunently, the night of the dance Dean and Tristan met. I had told Dean about Tristan, so you know that there was an instant dislike. Boys being boys decided to get in a fist fight, and as soon as someone broke it up, Dean and I left.'
' Two months later it was our 3-month anniversary. The night ended badly, due to the fact Dean told me he loved me. I couldn't say anything back, because at that point I was unsure of my feelings. I decided not to wallow as my mother advised, and the next day I went to Madeline's party.'
' Summer and Tristan broke up that night and after the commotion ended she left and he went off. I wanted to find a quiet corner to read in and in the first room I entered I saw Tristan. He was playing a song on the piano and we started to talk. We came to the conclusion that both Dean and Summer were idiots.'
' We ended up kissing and I thought of Dean. When he pulled away he saw tears in my eyes. He made a joke and I ran away. Smart move. The next day I told him that it meant nothing, but inside I knew I was lying.'
' Why? Because I realized something. You don't get to choose who you fall in love with. Over the months I had known Tristan something happened. Even though I was with Dean I developed feelings for Tristan. Those feelings slowly grew into love. So you can see why I am so confused.'
' But it gets worse. At the end of the year, Tristan asked me to a P.J. Harvey concert. Here was my chance but I said no. At the end of the day, he had taken my books and I told him to keep them. That's when I saw him. Dean. He had come to getme back, he said but thought I was with Tristan. I then proceeded to tell him I hated Tristan and that I loved him.'
' I did'nt see him leave but I knew he had. I had lied to Dean and to myself. I was trying to protect myself, but from what? Loving Tristan? I know I told Dean what I told him because I was afraid that Tristan was after one thing. I guess I'll never know.'
' Tristan returned my books, but I didn't get to see him. He just left them and didn't give me a chance to defend myself. My relationship with Dean is fizzling. I haven't been able to tell him that I love him since that fateful day, and I know he wonders why.'
' But what can I say? I don't love him. I love him as a friend, even a brother. Not good. I'm not sure what to do. I need help with this. I think that Dean knows that we're over. We hardly doing anything together anymore.'
' I can hardly wait until the beginning of junior year. I have a lot of things to make up for. Just how do I go about these things?'
' Life sucks. It has so many loopholes and curves that you can never see. Don't let anyone fool you. Listen to someone with experience. You don't get to choose everything that happens in your life. All of us are mortal. We die when we do. We don't choose how, when or why we die. It's the same thing for love. You don't choose who, when, how, or why you fall in love with a specific person. It just isn't done.'
' If I had a choice, do you think I would have fell in love with Tristan? Maybe, but maybe not. I'll never know. Considering it's too late anyways. I love Tristan and there is nothing I can do. You don't get to choose who you love and I know that now. Better then I ever did.'
' You see I thought I choose who I fell in love with. And when, how, and why I fell in love with that person. But I didn't. I never had the chance to and I never will. You see he's the one I will always love and if he is happy with someone else, then I wish him luck. I just wish he was happy with me.'
' Dreams are wishes your heart desires my mom told me. Of course I know she got that from Cinderella, but it fits. I Dream about loving him and him loving me. I know my heart wishes that.'
' Life shouldn't be so confusing. It just isn't fair. But when was life fair? Never.'