This would be more of a Merlin\Buffy\Discworld Crossover but for some reason this site insists on only two possible crosses... But where's the fun in that?
"Multicross
For an author there are many ways to have fun… Way better than lacrosse!" Anyways, Buffy, Discworld… meet everyone else ;)
Scene Cast*:
Prince Arthur Pendragon
Merlin (From Merlin)
Morgana Pendragon
Uther Pendragon
Susan Sto Helit
Death
Assorted Nac Mac Feegles
Rincewind
Merlin (as in old bearded guy)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike
Edward Cullen
Severus Snape
Angel
Thirrin Feer Strong-in-the-Arm Lindensheild
Oskan Witch's Son
Random Zombie
Sorrel
The stage is a black box, a single table set with ten chairs sits center-stage, the lights black out for five seconds . The lights flash on and illuminate the now filled chairs.
Death is seated at the head of the table, with Susan to his right and Rincewind to his left, seated next to Susan are Random Zombie, Morgana, Edward and Spike (the two vamps in the same seat); Next to Rincewind are Uther, Old Merlin and Merlin. Arthur sits at the foot of the table. Spike shoves Edward over and claims the seat for himself. Random Zombie starts looking intently at the human's heads.
Spike: What the bloody heck is this tea party?
Edward: You pushed me!
Spike: Shove off pretty boy! (Edward pouts)
Uther: (stands up) Sorcery! This must be- (looks to his left… looks to his right… turns purple) Sorcerers!
Spike: Giles? What's with the bloody costume?
Arther: Father? Are you- (Uther draws his sword)
Uther: There will be no magic in my kingdom! (Tries to stab Rincewind who's now running around the stage screaming)
Susan: Grandfather, what is happening?
Death: I AM NOT SURE. HOWEVER, I LIKE THE WALL COLOR.
Spike: What the bloody heck are you doing Giles? (Spike stands up an Edward steals his chair.) Did he forget to turn in a library book or something (Spike laughs)
Arthur: Merlin, what is going on?
Merlin\Old Merlin: I don't know (Merlin and Old Merlin give each other looks)
Morgana: I might have an idea (Looks at Random Zombie and smirks. Random Zombie tries to eat Morgana's brain) Arthur!
Arthur: Morgana! (jumps on the table to try to attack Random Zombie. Morgana starts running from Random Zombie so Arthur follows, sword in hand.)
(The tables remaining occupants' look at each other. Then Merlin watches Arthur, wondering if he'll have to intervene magically. Susan is considering stopping time and ending all this madness. Edward gathers up the empty chairs, stacks them and sits on top.)
Death : I THINK RINCEWIND MIGHT DIE. HA HA HA. IT IS CALLED SARCASM, SUSAN. I HAVE BEEN TOLD IT IS FUNNY.
Susan: It isn't.
Death: OH…
Arthur: I got you! (stabs Random Zombie twice, Sorrel appears from Stage Left)
Sorrel: HEY! You aren't supposed to kill him!
Arthur: So you're the sorceress who did this. Release us and- (Uthur runs by)
Uther: There will be no magic! (Arthur looks annoyed at Uther interrupting him)
Sorrel: Wake up Uther! Nearly everyone in this room is of the supernatural! I mean you and me are the only real non-magical people here. (Arthur is about to interrupt her) Be quiet Arthur, you were born of magic and Merlin, both of them, is a warlock and a wizard respectively (Merlin looks worried). Morgana is an evil sorceress if you hadn't already figured that out from her smirking all the time (at this Morgana smirks until she thinks about it). Spike is a vampire and Deadweird… is supposed to be but (pauses) he sparkles! (Spike chuckles again, surprised this sparkle-boy would claim such a title) Death and his granddaughter Susan are over there. Rincewind is another wizzard.
Arthur: What is going on?
Sorrel: I'm an Author.
Susan: I thought he was Arthur.
Sorrel: Author! Anyways, I'm Sorrel and I'm ruler of this place! And since you killed Random Zombie I'll have to replace him. Susan, Death, would you mind leaving for a moment? I'll write you back in later, I promise.
Death: THAT IS FINE WITH ME.(Death and Susan disappear, Thirrin, Snape and Angel appear. Uther goes bug-eyed and stops chasing Rincewind. Rincewind keeps trying to run away)
Thirrin: Where am I?
Snape: What is going on… (Glares when he realizes he doesn't know anyone's last name)
Angel: Well that's better…
Sorrel: Thirrin is a warrior queen, Snape is a wizard and Angel is a bird-kid. Have fun and don't kill each other! (Sorrel disappears)
Merlin: Maybe we can bargain with her.
Arthur: With a sorceress? And is that true? Are you a sorcerer? Is Morgana evil? Father! That better have been a lie! (Uther is unable to answer as he is having a mental breakdown)
Merlin: Uh…
Morgana: No of course I am not evil, who are you to even suggest such a thing? (Morgana smirks)
Arthur: You just smirked!
Morgana: I did not (Morgana smirks again)
Arthur: You did it again!
Moragana: Oh, that, ha ha ha, it's noting. (Morgana smirks again, Arthur stares at her with disbelief.)
Arthur: Sorrel was right…
Thirrin: Bother! Would someone tell me what's going on! (Thirrin draws her sword)
Arthur: Another lady-knight?
Thirrin: Do not dare insult me, I'm the queen of the Icemark!
Arthur: I'm Prince Arthur of Camelot. I must warn you however to stay calm-
Thirrin: Stay calm? What do you mean by that? You don't think I can handle my own sword?
Arthur: A lady of your delicate breeding- (Thirrin laughs heartily before her temper gets the best of her,)
Thirrin: I am of the fighting Lindensheild clan! I cut off the great Scipio Bellorum's hand! I made allies with the mighty Snow Leopards-
Arthur: A lady-
Thirrin: You! (She see's Merlin and rightly assumes he's a servant) Would you tell this Prince Arthur he has no right to tell me what to do?
Merlin: (chuckles) Sire, she said-
Arthur: Merlin.
Merlin: Excuse him for being such a Prat.
Arthur: Merlin! Is it true you're a warlock?
Merlin: Well you see… Um…
Thirrin: (glares at Arthur for switching the subject) I will not be ignored! And yes, I'd assume your servant is a warlock- he reminds me of my consort Oskan. Be grateful, (whispers under her breath-) don't let him draw down lightning.
Arthur: (Shocked) How could you Merlin? After all we've fought for and all the people we've seen corrupted by magic?
Merlin: (Merlin looks very scared and nervous), Well, I…
Thirrin: Why are you so offended? It's not like he betrayed you, he could not help the way he was born!
Arthur: Born with magic?
Merlin: Yeah, I'm sorry Arthur but it was never the right time to tell you and-
Old Merlin: I am so ashamed.
Arthur\Merlin\Thirrin: What?
Old Merlin: I've been listening and I've realized something is very wrong. You use my name, young Merlin, and you use my kings name, Arthur Pendragon. Morgana must be Morgan le Fay. Yet I have never been a servant. Something is very wrong… (Arther, Merlin, Old Merlin and Morgana move upstage and become nearly inaudible. Spike walks over to Edward)
Spike: What's with the chairs, sparkle-boy?
Edward: Mine!
Spike: That's alright mate, but what's this bit about you being a big scary vampire?
Edward: How do you know that?
Spike: Didn't you hear a word that bit Sorrel was say'n?
Edward: No, she's a girl. I don't even listen to my fortunetelling sister most the time.
Spike: Do you have a bloody death wish?
Edward: Actually yes, I am a creature of the darned, I don't deserve to live
Spike: If you keep whine'n I might help with that, Sparkle-boy. (Angel walks up) Oi! What are you look'n at?
Angel: I'm Angel. (Spike slightly stiffens) Not that Angel, I'm not anything like him!
Edward: You can read minds?
Angel: Even better than you. (Edward and Angel have a silent conversation, Spike looks disgusted,)
Spike: Well I'm off. (Walks over to Snape) So you're a wizard then?
Snape: Apparently so.
Spike: I know this witch, red head, even heard of her?
Snape: Another Weasley?
Spike: Willow, but close enough. Do you think you could get me out of here?
Snape: No.
Spike: Well bloody why not?
Snape: I've lost my wand.
Spike: Bugger. (Strolls over to the running Rincewind ) So you're also a wizard?
Rincewind: What gave me away?
Spike: Look, could you get me out of here?
Rincewind: I only ever knew one spell.
Spike: (yells) Look is there anyone who can get me out of here? Otherwise I'm gonna' smash all your bloody heads in! (Everyone is silent for a few seconds then Edward's head explodes. Sorrel pops in again,)
Sorrel: I said don't kill anyone! (Sorrel notices that Edward was the one who died) Oh, him, that's ok. I never liked Sparklepire anyways. However, now I have to find someone else…
Merlin: How did he die?
Sorrel: He couldn't stand Angel being better than him, or thinking. So Deadweird's head exploded (Sorrel cackles with glee)
Rincewind: Could you send me home?
Sorrel: Why, I'm having fun,
Rincewind: (removes his shoe, takes off his sock, and puts a brick in it. Rincewind brandishes it like a weapon) I stopped a sorcerer with this once and-
Sorrel: Fine, I could never argue with someone wielding a sock. Old Merlin? You'll have to go to… (Edward's corpse and Old Merlin vansh, Oskan and Buffy appear in there place,) I think I'll stick around this time- I'm not sure I want anyone here to die yet."
Buffy: Spike? What are we doing here- Giles?
Uther: I'm King Uther! Not-
Buffy: Giles, you're worrying me.
Spike: Strangely I think he's telling the truth.
Arthur: Why do you people keep calling my dad Giles?
Buffy: Wait, Giles, you have a son?
Uther: I'm not Giles!
Buffy: If you say so…
Thirrin: Oskan, tell me what is this girl doing!
Oskan: How would I know, I just got here!
Thirrin: Confer with the spirits or something! Talk with Merlin, between two warlocks I am sure you can figure something!
Merlin: (Stunned to be in the presence of a non-evil warlock of his age) Hi.
(Feegles appear)
Rob Anybody: Ach, crivens! (Sorrel starts laughing, jumping up and down with joy)
Sorrel: Yes! This is going to be epicipipical!
(Scene blacks out)
A\N: So what do you think? Care to tell me with a reveiw? This was more of an introduction scene but next time... I have a theory that it's a dancing demon- nah, somrthing isn't right there... More feegle action... Death'll come back... Merlin deals with a non-evil warlock :)
*The following characters come from-
Arthur, Merlin, Morgana and Uther come from Merlin
Susan, Death, Feegles and Rincewind are from Discworld
Buffy and Spike are from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Edward (Deadweird the Sparklepire) is from Twilight
Snape is from Harry Potter
Angel is from Maximun Ride
Thirrin and Oskan are from the Icemark Chronicals
Random Zombe could be from Plants versus Zombies but its so random no one knows for sure
Old Merlin is kinda the real myth dude... sorta
If anyone gets confused about some of the lesser known ones, google is a wonderful thing!
And remember, I don't own any of the characters I've trapped!
Have fun, thank you and reveiw!