A/N: I am back on fanfiction (Don't know how long for though. Work is unpredictable). But I am so pleased to have time to publish this. :)
I hope you like this fic because I haven't written fanfiction since the summer.
I hope that you all have had a good Christmas and I wish you all the best of luck fanfiction wise, school wise,work wise etc.. throughout the rest of 2010.
But, on with the fanfiction.. I know it is fairly short, and I will work on some of my other fanfictions as soon as I have finished my beta work, and finished reading some amazing fanfictions xxx But, please send me a review telling me what I have done well if you have some spare time, and I can promise that I will be able to check out at least one of your fanfictions in the near future. :)
Why Me?
Why was I chosen to do such a painstakingly long task? Tiredness overwhelmed me each day, I continue to sacrifice my health; mentally and physically as my desperation to please My Lord gradually increases each day. For I know how ruthless my Lord would be if I displeased him. Fixing the vanishing cabinet between Hogwarts and Borgin and Burkes was my task, yet is it even possible? Here, as I stare at myself in the mirror in the boys bathroom, I notice that my sapphire eyes have appeared to lose the sparkle that they once possessed. How my blond hair has grown longer, so it is near shoulder length, and how my face is gaunt and hollow like I have not eaten properly. I struggle to recall the last time I tasted food. I have simply not felt hunger for a long time and the only thing I have drank lately is water and that is just a quick drink to quench my thirst from an old rusted tap.
Yet, sleep and dreams are hell to me! The Devil gazing at me in disappointment and whispers of venom fill my ears about how it is necessary to kill Dumbledore and how I have thwarted the great You-Know- Who's plans. I dream of My Lord each time the need to sleep is so overpowering that I have no energy left within my body. Them crimson eyes haunt me and they are compelled to make me sure that I suffer mentally.
The weight that has been placed on my shoulders by my master is something that you would expect him to place on a noble Death Eater and someone who he knows for certain will succeed. I know I can't do it! All my screaming has gone unheard thus far! When the task was first given to me, I looked in my mother's eyes, and I told her that 'all would be fine.' I would succeed and make her proud. I promised her! But I am doubting whether I can still keep that promise. I should tell her that I cannot succeed as I know that she would not speak a word to anyone of my realisation that I cannot do this task.
Yet that is impossible! The owls are being watched and I shudder to think what would happen if I was suspected to having anything to do with the Death Eaters. My Lord would leave me to rot with the Azkaban guards, and allow them to feed on all my happy memories of my childhood. First learning to ride a toy broomstick with my father. Father? I fought back a sob.
"DON'T BE WEAK DRACO!" The memory of my Aunt screaming to me when my mother told her in confidence that I was upset about my Fathers imprisonment tore around my brain.
She grabbed me by my collar and held up against the wall, telling me how I must be strong as the Dark Lord will kill me if I fail. Her eyes glaring at me with fury and her screams of anger were terrible to withstand.
The weakling is staring at me in the mirror once more, and emotion engulfs my body, thinking about that time and being classed as weak.
No! I won't cry! I will not cry! Especially in this bathroom, where anyone could walk in. Yet, I wish an angel would walk in and take away all my fears. How ridiculous am I sounding now? Why am I thinking things which will never happen? That are impossible. I will fail! I will be tortured! I will die!
I shut my eyes, asking myself why me? Yet as I open them, a tear rolls down my cheek and I can't breathe, and I force back the sobs, but it is wrong to keep it all inside? It is unhealthy! And it is like a demon forcing its way out of my body after it has connected with my heart and the most vital organ cannot take it anymore and pushes it out. Now, everyone can see the distress the demon has caused.
I collapse to the floor and I yearn to die! Yet, how can I do that to my mother? I shall run away, but where shall I go? As My Lord is bound to find me!
SOMEONE UNDERSTAND ME! COME TO FIND ME! MAKE IT ALL DISAPPEAR!
The delicate voice teases: "It won't happen Draco!"
And, I am left to compose myself alone! No Mother! No Father! Nobody I can reach out to! I am alone and I know it.