Desperation
He walked straight past me, as if I was invisible to him. The look on his face was a cross between desperation and pure hatred. It was understandable that he should have felt this way towards me, but not after all this time. It was water under the bridge, or so I had thought.
"A week till the five year anniversary" I was informed by Alice.
She was as pale as ever but today she looked a worse kind of pathetic, like she was desperately seeking approval from the one place she was never going to get it. And unlucky for her that that place was him:
We had known him for as long I could remember, but now he was different and not the good kind of different. He used to be sweet and kind and most of all a genuinely nice human being, now he was rude and misguided teenager with no respect for anything. But what gets to me the most was that he'd been my best friend, now even the thought of him sends me somewhere very dark.
He didn't even look the same. The chubby cheeked, bronze haired boy that once was, had been removed. A nervous wreck stood in his place. He was model potential, but with the constant look of pain that ransacked his good looks, everyone had overlooked this.
I froze. He shot the dirtiest look over his shoulder after spending a good 30 seconds thinking about his looks I then choose to remember he can read me like a book. Great!
According to the psychiatrist, I am not supposed to think about it, he said I should try and forget; but when you are dreaming about it it's a little hard. Normally in my dream it's the same dark, dreary, depressing time. It happens over and over again in an endless loop of torment and death it goes round and round, something I don't think I'll ever forget.
It had happened 5 years ago (minus a week according to Alice), the worst day of my life. Or at least it should have been, in fact it was probably the best outcome of the given situation. Edward disowned me. It was the worst thing and the best thing that could have happened. At least I wouldn't have to see the distraught look of loss that came oozing from every fiber of his being, as if his soul was being shredded.
James, my brother, had always been a little odd. But when he went all psychotic and kidnapped a middle-aged couple, it was really the first time we all realized just how bad he was.
He held them hostage for seventeen days. Seventeen days to symbolize each year of his supposed "suffering", each day hurting them a little more, until finally ending their pain. He gave himself up, and the police found him in one of the schools disused science labs clutching his legs and rocking back and forth, sobbing into his blood stained clothes.
They were Edward's parents, Edward sr and Elizabeth Masen. I guess that kind of explains why he despises me, I suppose he thinks my whole family's like my oldest brother. But if so, he defiantly thinks wrong.
"Bells, Bella, Isabella!' I was doing it again.
'Thinking about Edward?'
I nodded, Alice knew me too well for me to hide it from her. I was suddenly over come with a strange sense of bravery, like something deep down inside me wanted things back the way they were. I was normally able to restrain these thoughts by do things like complicated maths in my head, but today I was far to overcome with the grief I felt for our friendship to ignore them.
"EDWARD!" I boomed he flinched but carried on walking. It didn't help that I knew what I wanted to say. Now more determined than ever, I jolted up from the bench and ran as fast as a cheater to his side. To my surprise, he stopped and turned to me.
"What?" said the irritated version of the voice that I had longed to hear and at that moment all my bravery drained away and I was left feeling like I had the day I first met him, small and insignificant.
'Long times no see' was all I managed to stutter out and however unexpectedly, as the tension between us lifted, I saw a smile. But it looked wrong, out of place. It was the sort of smile that didn't reach his eyes, or even the corners of his mouth, the sort of smile that chills you right to the bone. But the smile doesn't even compare to the glint in his eyes. The same glint Alice's brother Emmett gets when he's about to pull a prank. The only difference being Emmett wouldn't hurt a fly, but who knows what Edward's torchered soul is capable of anymore.
"torchered soul?" he questioned.