Another little crack fic my brother and I thought of. Let me know what you think.
Drunken Hogwarts
One night in my imagination professor Dumbledore got bored. 'I wonder what the students are doing.' He thought. He walked down the stairs until he came to the great hall. All of the students were sitting there eating their dinners. "This is completely boring." He said. With that he walked down into the kitchens and told all the house elves to replace the student's drinks with vodka. "This night will no longer be boring." He said with an evil laugh.
In the great hall all the students and teachers were drinking their vodka. After about twenty minutes everyone was drunk. After that music came from nowhere and the entire school had a party. Unfortunately, no one knew what happened the next morning and it was hilarious.
The Next Morning
The boy who lived groaned as he lifted his head. "What happened?" He asked. Looking around his eyes grew wide. He was in a bed with Malfoy. "HOLY SHIT!" Harry screamed, waking Malfoy up. "I'm in bed with Malfoy."
Malfoy lifted his head and while strands of his hair were sexily in his face he said in his best bedroom voice. "You say that like it's a bad thing." He then proceeded to snog Harry who, for reasons unknown to him, liked it. (My brother is making me write here. "Chicks and their yaoi" but I'm not the only girl in the world who would kill to see this. Right?)
Across the room Hermione and Ron woke up at the same time. They were in bed together and Ron said, horrified. "Did we just?"
"Yes." Hermione said bluntly.
"AGAIN?" Ron screamed in surprise.
That scream happened to wake the occupants of Headmaster Dumbledore's chamber. Severus Snape woke up naked and alone. He got up and started to put on his pants when the bathroom door opened andDumbledore walked in with a towel on.
Dumbledore stared at him and said, "Where you going Snape-a-doodle?"
Snape stared at him but didn't say anything when he heard a groan. McGonagall was sitting on the ground handcuffed to a stripper pole. Snape fainted after that sight.
Meanwhile the twins (And their sexy asses) woke up. Fred had his hand in a warm glass of water while George had insulting marks written on his face in magical sharpie. They both stared at each other and then they burst out laughing until they passed out from oxygen deprivation.
The students with their massive hangovers walked down to the great hall to see Voldemort stumbling around with his wand up his ass and a bucket on his head. After that everyone died from a heart attack. Voldemort won the war because the boy who lived finally died.
Morale of the story: Beer does not belong in a magical school; it belongs in your stomach.
My brother is laughing his head off but I am practically drooling from the thought of all these hot guys in bed. Who agrees?